Our Deepest Fears.

[LifeLife]

I was talked to a homeless man today and he gave me a wonderful piece of advice I don't know if ill ever forget. We were in the city around all these buildings and he noticed that I was really fidgety and wanted to go. I told him that "I was afraid of heights and that is why I am nervous and anxious. Looking at all these buildings makes me terrified."  He turned to me and asked me a simple question.

"How long do you expect to live?"

I had never thought about the topic. I didn't know how to answer it.  So in reaction I guess "50 years longer".

"So in 50 years would you walk up to the top of that building and jump off?"

Stumped by the irony of what I just said and certain in my response I replied "Noope. No way."

He explained. "See I find that people who are afraid of heights, in your case for example, are not afraid of heights. They are afraid of death. And to be constantly expectant and unsure about the certainty of death I could only imagine would be a living hell. Death is a part of life, not the end. It's going to happen and it has to happen."

On the way home, I contemplated my fear of death like never before and I even started to cry when I surrendered to some of my fears. Some moments in the midsts of the realisations I had were truly liberating. Just an experience Id thought I'd share.  thanks yall

[Beam]

your at a perfect stage to take the next step , exposure to heights on a personal level  by yourself up up and to the top of something high in your area.  That you can sit at for an hour or two , chilling meditating eating lunch whatever , you need some time up high to let the safety of it set in and become real.

 

Exposure therapy is effective and can be done by anyone without a need to use professionals etc.

 

[LifeLife]

@Beam that's very interesting. Have you dealt with this in your experience?

[Beam]

Not with a fear of heights. 
I overcame anxiety by straight up exposure to what caused me such feelings.  With me although not anxious at home or with close friends I was when dealing with the world.
For 7 years the Doctor had me on Benzodiazepine's and I would still be on them and suffering if I had not chosen to deal life and face my fears.

To face my fears I stopped the benzo's  much to my doctors surprise and started exposing myself to dealing with the public and dealing with myself , accepting myself accepting being imperfect and being worthy of everything i desire. My self esteem was damaged by the anxiety or vice versa... what was important for me , was acceptance  of myself to myself.  I was someone who over compensated for a lack of confidence. Being tough on the outside not many people knew I was fearful.
I also had encouragement , without encouragement I might never have tried.

A willingness to learn , acceptance of oneself combined with exposure are enough tools to make big gains in one life.  Its something that you have to decide to do and do.
If you try you may well find that you beat your fear in short order , wanting to change makes the whole process doable and feel natural.
edit: I must add that fear is a Lie , the sooner you realize it the quicker you grow  !

Edited September 3, 2016 by Beam

[Tron]

I really enjoyed this. Thank you. 

[harisankartj]

Yo thats awesome! I try to contemplate sometimes too ,on how it feels to lose all your loved ones and face death,alone. I havent yet conquered my fear of dying,and I certainly am afraid of many stuff,but I am more aware.Glad to see someone else who has gone through it and come out stronger :-)

[LifeLife]

What really conquered my fears was going a to a vipassana meditation retreat. There you learn how to REALLY understand what your fears and emotions are on all different levels.

[Loreena]

On Monday, November 7, 2016 at 5:51 PM, LifeLife said:

What really conquered my fears was going a to a vipassana meditation retreat. There you learn how to REALLY understand what your fears and emotions are on all different levels.

That's great

[30secs]

in this life you can overcome your fears piece by piece. ..but make sure that its practical not just you want to be fearless. Challenge your fears for a bigger purpose like doing some business, better relationships, discovering the truth. Yeah you can really start by meditation, meditation helps a lot because it can make you some kind of neutral.

[pluto]

When i was younger i used to have dreams of being stuck in a box or narrow tunnel with no way out and sometimes being upside down, no way to turn around and climb out and those were one of my most intense feared memories as a child. Surrender was the key to break free!

[Nahm]

@Beam I'm so happy reading your words. Good for you man. 

[Galyna]

On 9/1/2016 at 5:49 AM, LifeLife said:

I was talked to a homeless man today and he gave me a wonderful piece of advice I don't know if ill ever forget. We were in the city around all these buildings and he noticed that I was really fidgety and wanted to go. I told him that "I was afraid of heights and that is why I am nervous and anxious. Looking at all these buildings makes me terrified."  He turned to me and asked me a simple question.

"How long do you expect to live?"

I had never thought about the topic. I didn't know how to answer it.  So in reaction I guess "50 years longer".

"So in 50 years would you walk up to the top of that building and jump off?"

Stumped by the irony of what I just said and certain in my response I replied "Noope. No way."

He explained. "See I find that people who are afraid of heights, in your case for example, are not afraid of heights. They are afraid of death. And to be constantly expectant and unsure about the certainty of death I could only imagine would be a living hell. Death is a part of life, not the end. It's going to happen and it has to happen."

On the way home, I contemplated my fear of death like never before and I even started to cry when I surrendered to some of my fears. Some moments in the midsts of the realisations I had were truly liberating. Just an experience Id thought I'd share.  thanks yall

Death is not what we are scared of, we are scared of unknown, in fact if you die tomorrow who is there to register this fact? Do you know how is it to be dead? If not, how can you be scared of death? You are not scared of death, but scared of all the consequences that it might bring. It is just a story in your mind of what might happen. I have been contemplating this topic for a long time, it is not that easy to grasp, when people say they grasped it, do not buy into that, mind can not grasp something it has never experienced, unless you are enlightened, that would be a different conversation.