Rant: Most of y’all (guys) only want a relationship due to scarcity mindset

[aurum]

6 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

It’s not over generalization.  It is the truth.

Btw, men are not much better.

Brother I understand the points you’re making. They’re very similar to what you’d find in the Red Pill / MGTOW crowd.

If those beliefs are serving you, go for it.

But there’s a lot of bitterness and pain that is coming up here. 

Be conscious of it.

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

4 minutes ago, Shunyata said:

Men and women use each other . They want power

Bingo.

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

Brother I understand the points you’re making. They’re very similar to what you’d find in the Red Pill / MGTOW crowd.

If those beliefs are serving you, go for it.

But there’s a lot of bitterness and pain that is coming up here. 

Be conscious of it.

 

I may sound like that because I am being blunt, but I am not bitter at all.  Nor am I in pain.  If I was then I would just be on reddit.

As someone who is about the truth I love this knowledge as it does serve me.  It allowed me to wake up from the dream.  To not buy into society’s illusion.

[Gesundheit]

I won't say anything regarding the wisdom you're offering, but here's a little note for you @Thestarguitarist14

When you're advocating against relationships (women's most favorite way of survival), women won't just agree and tell you that there are different approaches to relationships. The triggers will likely be so strong that you will not be able to get your points through, even if they have some validity and truth to them. Especially when you talk about dating multiple women at the same time, that's very threatening. So make sure you take this into account when you're discussing.

Edited November 5, 2020 by Gesundheit

[aurum]

2 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I may sound like that because I am being blunt, but I am not bitter at all.  Nor am I in pain.  If I was then I would just be on reddit.

 

I don’t buy it.

2 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

As someone who is about the truth I love this knowledge as it does serve me.  It allowed me to wake up from the dream.  To not buy into society’s illusion.

I do believe that.

I’m saying this as someone who had all these same beliefs at one point.

They did help me for a while and there is some truth there. But eventually I had to let go of them.

You’ll probably have to do the same when you’re ready. And that’s fine.

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Khr said:

@Gesundheit Relationship are women’s way of survival? Elaborate on this dumb idea?

No need, LMAO.

[Gesundheit]

3 minutes ago, Khr said:

@Gesundheit great, because idk what rock you live under, but it may be good for you to climb out of there sometimes and interact with the modern world.

Take it easy dude

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Khr said:

Yes ma’am.

Thanks for the compliment 

[Thestarguitarist14]

@Gesundheit Truth.  It is like how if you watch dating coaches on YouTube women will comment with “who hurt you” (well, they know what the truth is) whole men never do anything like that on female dating YouTube channels.

10 minutes ago, aurum said:

I don’t buy it.

 

Well, I’ll say that I have been healing.  I can honestly say that I have no bitterness towards women.  
 

11 minutes ago, aurum said:

I do believe that.

I’m saying this as someone who had all these same beliefs at one point.

They did help me for a while and there is some truth there. But eventually I had to let go of them.

You’ll probably have to do the same when you’re ready. And that’s fine.

Here is the thing.  I got into pick up when I was 20 going on 21 so for the next three years I learned a lot about women.  Over the last year I made the attempt become more in “the middle” thinking it was the “right thing to do”.

Wrong.  I only got fucked with.  It is a long story.  But lately I was been looking back and wondering how I was when I was at least feeling good and confident.  It was when I was living my life like this.  When I just had a devil may care attitude about women and did not try to act as if there was something there that wasn’t 

So I did already try to let them go.  Did not work out for me.

18 minutes ago, Khr said:

I am sure that all those homeless men had abundance of good of mental health to begin with. And celebrities have always been an ideal archetype of mental and spiritual development we should all follow, like Leonardo Dicaprio, I am sure he only dates the wisest of the sports illustrated models.

Many women, do go through challenges that, if men had to go through them, they would end up on the street. Women are more emotionally resilient. Instead of putting women down you might consider learning something from them.

Every actualized person knows that as you develop yourself it will get harder and harder to find a good match of a partner. That is why some, both men and women, give up altogether. You say you are actualized, but it I were you I would go back to the drawing board since you seem to have 0 clue about how relationships works. Water seeks its own level - if you’re a dumbass you will attract a dumbass. A lot of women sense dumbasses that is why they rather do anything else than hang out with you on a Friday night.

There are plenty of women with mental illnesses or cluster b personality disorders.

I am not putting down women, simply stating facts.  Women are not the “pretty little angels” that society wants us to believe.  Anyone who has dated a lot of women know this.  Hell, A list celebrities are probably tired of dating women.  
 

I know how relationships work.  Two people who are looking to fill a need.  They get together.  Feels good at first.  The woman begins to lose attraction for the man as the man becomes annoyed by the woman and loses trust.  The woman steps out on the man.  The woman then finds a new guy and says “I think we need some space”.  
 

Sounds right, right?

[RendHeaven]

@Thestarguitarist14 I agree with Khr. Growth from relationships are priceless.

1 hour ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

1) This whole “relationships will help you grow” is bullshit.  Most relationships actually set guys back.  

2) Guys have lost money, drive or even killed themselves over failed relationships.  Whenever I talk to homeless people a lot of them say it was a woman that got them to that point.

1) This is a laughably narrow worldview. I can tell you've never been in a life-transforming relationship (or if you were, you never recovered from the hurt). Open your mind to the possibility that a beautiful-but-painful relationship might be the best thing to ever happen to you.

2) This is what it looks like when you refuse the call to become a hero. A failed relationship is a cosmic invitation to grow. It's not the woman's fault that so many men decline this invitation.

2 hours ago, Khr said:

Generally, relationships are the quickest way to growth. The feedback that you get from another person in an intimate relationship is priceless. No one knows you as well as your intimate partner. If anything, majority of men should want a woman who “gives them shit” and challenges their close minded ideas and autistic worldview.

“A woman who cooperates”, how sad of a creature are you?

Bingo.

To be fair though, a man does want to be on the same team as his woman. Ideally, you want a loving dynamic of "shit-giving." Constant blaming and withholding is just insufferable and erodes a relationship (though you're right, either case invites you to grow!)

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

1 hour ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

The woman is bored as the guy end ups just being a provider.

This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. 

Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. 

@Preety_India You make excellent points on this thread and on this forum.

However, in this instance you are not entirely correct, and you are missing a deep truth that @Thestarguitarist14 is sharing.

Almost any dignified woman will leave their partner if he becomes unattractive (aka losing his 'masculine edge').

This is what is meant by "ends up being a provider."

Do not contend with me on this. I have multiple brutal experiences (fresh out of one, actually) of being in a relationship with an incredible girl only for her to dump my dumbass after an year or 2 when I begin to put her before myself (aka she becomes my life purpose, I do everything for her but at the same time I need her, I lose my 'masculine edge,' I become a provider).

These painful experiences did NOT happen because I "chose all the wrong kinds of women." They happened because I did not love myself. I think this is what the original post is addressing 

Edited November 5, 2020 by RendHeaven

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I know plenty of good guys that try to get girls and they get friendzoned or rejected. I never saw the ruthless heartless player get a " you re a great guy but lets be friends instead" kinda text from a girl. It is not a coincidence that when a guy acts like he doesnt give a shit about the girl he gets her compared to being good to her. Even Leo has confirmed this among thousands of good guys who were treated like shit while being good to girls. Again, why dont girls reject guys if they act assertive, dominant, cocky, arrogant and brash. Answer this please

[Thestarguitarist14]

8 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

@Thestarguitarist14 I agree with Khr. Growth from relationships are priceless.

1) This is a laughably narrow worldview. I can tell you've never been in a life-transforming relationship (or if you were, you never recovered from the hurt). Open your mind to the possibility that a beautiful-but-painful relationship might be the best thing to ever happen to you.

2) This is what it looks like when you refuse the call to become a hero. A failed relationship is a cosmic invitation to grow. It's not the woman's fault that so many men decline this invitation.

 

Can you learn from painful experiences yes?  Have I learned from bad experiences with women and grown?  Yup.  Got me here.  
 

However, you do not need to do that to grow.  You can learn from the mistakes of others.  Like if I told you that I was dating a narcissist who just treated me like shit and gave you her characteristics and you met a woman who was like her would you date her to “transform spirituality”?  No.  I would hope you would have learned from my mistakes 

But alas, most people only learn through pain.  

[Byun Sean]

@Thestarguitarist14

So are you just gonna keep ranting on the forum about this or are you ever gonna turn inward and look at your 

damn shadow material for your own neediness.

You've been spinning your wheels on this same shit for ages now man. Grow the fuck up. Take some responsibility and turn your ass inward.

 

You deliberately suppress your own neediness and project it onto others so you can feel superior to those more 'needy' than you.

 

Really you just have baggage you are unwilling to look at.

Deal with your trauma and leave other people who are participating happily in relationships alone. 

Period.

[Thestarguitarist14]

32 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

@Thestarguitarist14

So are you just gonna keep ranting on the forum about this or are you ever gonna turn inward and look at your 

 

When did I ever make a post about this before this?  And what do you know what I do with myself?  Last time I check I don’t owe you a report on my healing and self work.
 

32 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

 

damn shadow material for your own neediness.

 

It would be neediness if I were saying that you all need to get into relationships.  I believe I am triggering your shadow of needing to stay inside the old and outdated relationship paradigm.  

32 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

 

You’ve been spinning your wheels on this same shit for ages now man. Grow the fuck up. Take some responsibility and turn your ass inward.

 

Really?  Again, when have I posted a thread about this before?  I may have talked about this, but hey it is the truth.  You have a problem with it, then you are the one who needs to grow the fuck up.  Why don’t you take some responsibility and turn your ass inward?

32 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

 

 

You deliberately suppress your own neediness and project it onto others so you can feel superior to those more 'needy' than you.

 

 

Right.

32 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

 

Deal with your trauma and leave other people who are participating happily in relationships alone. 

Period.

Haha.  Do you even read this section of the forum?  The posts here range from “I am so lonely, should I get a girlfriend?” to “my boyfriend hates my taste in music” to “I cannot trust my girlfriend.”  Where the hell are all these people participating happily in relationships?  All I see are most frustrated guys trying to believe something that is not even real.  And getting more frustrated with that.

It sounds like you have issues with the truth and making a paradigm shift.  Glad that this post has woken you up.  Now that you are angry why don’t you turn inwards instead of projecting your childhood into me?  I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

Period.

Edited November 6, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Michal__]

You're right there's no reason to be  committed long term unless you find your ideal girlfriend.

That's the whole point of dating - to find someone you love while having a lot of fun doing it.

[Thestarguitarist14]

21 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

You're right there's no reason to be  committed long term unless you find your ideal girlfriend.

That's the whole point of dating - to find someone you love while having a lot of fun doing it.

I believe a lot of people miss that point and are obsessed with getting into a relationship. Not that a relationship is anything special these days.  But if you are going to get into one, at least do it consciously.  Most guys are just struggling and get into a relationship with the first woman who gives him attention.  A lot it has to do with their fear of lack and a lack of confidence of being in the dating field.
 

Imagine if everyone only got into healthy relationships.  If everyone felt fulfilled.  If everyone was doing self work.  This would be a different world.  
 

Though I do not believe that one can truly love someone outside of their immediate family members.  That would unconditional love and no human being is emanating that.  For example, most of us love Leo right?  But if God forbid something happened to him we would be like “gosh that sucks” but move on with our lives.  Versus if your mother had something happened you would feel awful, even if you hate your mother.

People love how you make them feel.  Not you.  It is important to make that distinction.

Edited November 6, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Byun Sean]

19 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

 I believe I am triggering your shadow of needing to stay inside the old and outdated relationship paradigm.  

 

My statement is purposefully aggressive and angry sounding in tone because you need fucking wake up call.

Your asleep to your own baggage and your taking a tole on yourself and others until you fix it.

I know where your at because I've been there and back. I've walked the spiritual path alone with your exact mindset and I know all the ins and outs of it. It's so damn obvious to me it looks like a giant shit stain in the middle of the sidewalk.

My comments come from a conscious place of care for you. Not demonization.

I only know this too well because I've been through the same shit and held the same trashy narcissistic individualistic perspective that claims you are this 'ultimate awakened person who is soooo developed and conscious' that you don't need anyone and that anyone who seeks relationships is automatically needy.

Well thats just a front. You've closed your heart off so much you can't even imagine being intimate with someone yourself anymore.

 

If you were really so conscious and awakened in that area you wouldn't be bashing others on the forum.

Your projecting here.

[Thestarguitarist14]

15 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

 

My statement is purposefully aggressive and angry sounding in tone because you need fucking wake up call.

Your asleep to your own baggage and your taking a tole on yourself and others until you fix it.

I know where your at because I've been there and back. I've walked the spiritual path alone with your exact mindset and I know all the ins and outs of it. It's so damn obvious to me it looks like a giant shit stain in the middle of the sidewalk.

My comments come from a conscious place of care for you. Not demonization.

I only know this too well because I've been through the same shit and held the same trashy narcissistic individualistic perspective that claims you are this 'ultimate awakened person who is soooo developed and conscious' that you don't need anyone and that anyone who seeks relationships is automatically needy.

Well thats just a front. You've closed your heart off so much you can't even imagine being intimate with someone yourself anymore.

 

If you were really so conscious and awakened in that area you wouldn't be bashing others on the forum.

Your projecting here.

Bahaha.

All you do is project when you do not know a damn thing about me.

I am not about to tell you my life story.  But let’s just say I was into pick for a few years in my early twenties.  So I learned a ton about women.  After I decided to stop actively doing pick up I made an effort to be more in the middle (basically knowing the truth, but acting as though spirituality would make a difference).

Boy, did I learn a lot.

You talk a big game.  But at the end of the day you cannot best human nature.  Chris Rock once said “most people ain’t shit”.  That is the truth.

The point of this post is to get guys to not focus so much on women.  Notice how I said if you are just tired of dating and have found a woman who you genuinely like, are attracted to, is feminine, doesn’t give you shit and cooperates then getting into a relationship is cool?  The problem is that 99.99% of men do not either think that way or have that kind of patience.

Even a relationship like that is not going to be some kind of safe haven.  Women in relationships cheat all the time.  You will just never catch her.  Hell, I have dated women who were in relationships before.

Right now I do not see myself getting into any serious relationships again.  Might change when I want to have kids.  But that would be more of a “business” decision as I do lot believe that anyone can truly love another outside of their kin. I’m just focusing on my spirituality, my purpose and my coin.  I am dating though, college age women at that.  It’s a lot more fun than a relationship ?.

And what about the rant thread about needing friends?  So if I were saying “you need a relationship!” would that be okay?

Who is the one truly projecting here?

Edited November 6, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Byun Sean]

@Thestarguitarist14

Lol 

Isn't it interesting your one of the only guys on this forum that holds this particular view and everyone including me is telling you relationships work otherwise.

We say your view is toxic and packed with baggage because it is.

 

But of course you will never admit this because if you ever admit this as a possibility 

you have to risk giving up this big part of your ego which is threatening.

 

You say others are needy. Well your 5x as needy for your need to be separate from others especially in intimacy with women.

 

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

Just now, Khr said:

@Thestarguitarist14

So how much self work did you do to say that a good gf is a hyper sexual, cooperating one and I believe in another thread you said that no guy is happy dating 6-7 and the personality of a girl shouldn’t matter?

Honestly, reading all this stuff, I initially thought you were like 16-17. You sound incredibly dumb, immature and sexist. This kind of talk and stupidity is ok for a damaged unloved teenager, but it’s sad to see you are my age ?.

I say it with love, you need to evolve man because you sound very dumb. I am shocked that dumb guys like this exist. No offence. 
 

I think you should date college girls only because you’re too dumb for girls your age (btw I never said the word “dumb” this much before, you inspire me).

Hey man, I am just saying the truth.  If you have a problem with that, that is on you.  Just because I am spiritual and into this work does not mean I have to buy into society’s beliefs.