Rant: Most of y’all (guys) only want a relationship due to scarcity mindset

[Thestarguitarist14]

I just think it is funny that we’re here because we are self actualizing and getting away from ideological thinking yet I see so many guys here either desperately wanting one or under the impression that it something truly special and a key to actualization.

Look, if you want a relationship because you have dated a long time, are tired of all the b.s that comes with dating and have met a woman who you genuinely like and are highly attracted too and she is feminine, is highly sexual, does not give you shit and cooperates, that’s great.  The thing is, most of y’all just want a relationship due to a scarcity mindset because you are not getting laid, you are lonely and you are bored.  You believe that a relationship will fulfill you.  

It will not.

Relationships (this goes for women too) will not make you happy.  In fact it will probably do the opposite.  You guys have parents who have been married for years.  When was the last time you saw them act lovey dovey?  But you see them arguing all the time.

You know why guys like Drake and Leonardo DiCaprio don’t settle down?  It is not because they are lower conscious people.  It is because they have such a high abundance mindset that  they do not need a relationship.  And when they do have one of the woman gives them too much shit, they leave.

If you guys could go out and get the women you truly desire and date three to five women at once I guarantee you that you would not even think about a relationship.  Why?  Because you would automatically have an abundance mindset.  But instead you settle for decent looking women and mediocre relationships that drive you crazy.  

But forget about women.  Let’s be honest, women (people in general) are not that special.  The majority of people are just out for themselves and a woman will drop you in cold blood if it suits her.  Women are just a cover for how you feel about yourself.  How you feel a sense of lack.  How you feel like you are not enough.  Your lack of confidence.  Your lack of self worth.  How you cannot even enjoy your own company.  

So the next time you are like “I need a relationship” why don’t you try to figure out what is really going on?  You will probably discover that you feel empty and that a relationship will not fill up this emptiness.

Edited November 5, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[evgn]

Yeah, recently i really liked one girl( i have never liked a girl so much in my life) ofcourse she didnt reciprocate due to my neediness i guess and it felt really bad. If i somehow managed to get in realation ship whit this girl i would have become jealous and afraid loosing her. So i realized that the problem is in me i have to heal myself before i go in realationships with women.

[No Self]

Some valid points. I don't really have an opinion but here are a few more ideas:

Society does shame people to some degree for being single, especially if it is because they are not 'sexy' enough. Older societies additionally shame people for failing to have children. (And some highly progressive societies shame people FOR having children.) In addition to psychological and biological impulses within the body, society creates a mess using its peer pressure tactics.

Many of the most advanced beings - the Buddha, Jesus, Ramana Maharshi - did not engage in relationships. And they were not 'abstaining', but they simply had a richer, higher purpose than addressing biological cravings of the body.

Many of the LEAST advanced beings - Ted Bundy, Charles Manson - did not engage in committed relationships. They were below a level of consciousness that made genuinely caring for another being possible.

Eckhart Tolle's teachings could be summed up in a few points. All beings are connected. Relationship 'love' is often caused by egos attempting to cover up their underlying sense of pain, which inevitably returns in time, and the partner will be blamed for causing it. And yet, he says that avoiding relationships to escape pain results in less growth than letting failed relationships happen.

[Preety_India]

Lmao, more like Insecurity. 

Do you even understand a woman's psychology? 

I guess you expect all women to be prostitutes. 

 

Stop insulting women and treating them like sex objects and exploiting them and then justifying treating them like prostitutes. 

Your sex and dump theory doesn't fly for women. 

Talk about killing the womb systematically. God is watching. And karma exists. 

 

Edited November 5, 2020 by Preety_India

[Thestarguitarist14]

@evgn That is a good self observation.  Some part of you felt that she would heal you.  But no one can heal anyone.

@No Self It is almost like a misery loves company with society.  My own mother and other people have suggested that I either hate women or my favorite, am gay for not being in a relationship.  Even though those people are/were in lousy relationships.  There couldn’t be that I am fulfilled own my own is there?

It is funny how this society is so bent of monogamy.  King Solomon had seven hundred wives.  Human beings are built to be polyamorous.

You can have sex and not be in relationships. But yeah, a lot of figures from history focused on their life purpose over their carnal desires, which is ultimately the way to go.  I believe that a good balance is that you are on your purpose and women are a small part of your life.

The thing about Eckart Tolle is that he went through a ton of pain.  Makes sense that he sees value in failed relationships.  I am not saying to avoid those either.  But I am saying that there is no need to set yourself up for failure.

@Preety_India I mean, this is really to empower guys to not trap themselves in a scarcity mindset.  Also to see that there are alternatives.

It not about “pumping and dumping”.  It is about guys actually honoring who they are and their desires and not succumbing to their lower selves.

19 minutes ago, Khr said:

Despite that I see the bigger point you are making, there is so much bitterness in what you are saying.

Women are usually more evolved than men - a fact - women are more likely to be into spirituality and shit. Most of the time when a woman “gives shit” to their guy, it is because the guy is a clueless idiot and she is doing him a huge favour and is pushing him to evolve. Generally, relationships are the quickest way to growth. The feedback that you get from another person in an intimate relationship is priceless. No one knows you as well as your intimate partner. If anything, majority of men should want a woman who “gives them shit” and challenges their close minded ideas and autistic worldview. So, statistically speaking, most men should chase relationships as it will immensely help their growth.

“A woman who cooperates”, how sad of a creature are you?

Women are definitely smarter than men.  I agree.  That’s why guys need to be careful with women.  They can be dangerous.  It is not that different from when I am out in the back country and don’t want to be mauled by a bear.  With the way society has turned out, it is not an accident.

This whole “relationships will help you grow” is bullshit.  Most relationships actually set guys back.  Guys have lost money, drive or even killed themselves over failed relationships.  Whenever I talk to homeless people a lot of them say it was a woman that got them to that point.

Living and “making it” in the world is a challenge enough.  No guy needs a woman to challenge them and give them shit.  Also, do you want men to become feminized?

All guys are the end of the day want a woman who cooperates.  Meaning I text a woman “hey, lets get go out Friday night at seven” I just want the woman to say “sounds good!  See you then!”  That happens sometimes.  But no, most women just want to play games or even just go ghost.

Edited November 5, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Preety_India]

@Thestarguitarist14

Don't cover chauvinism and justify it. Western chauvinism on display. 

Being masculine does not translate as treating women like shit. 

A woman wants a Wholesome man just like a man wants a Wholesome woman. 

Men who are happy with a woman (not women) are because they know how to respect her and they don't objectify her and if she is a Wholesome woman (he needs to be a Wholesome man to attract such a woman) then she won't steal your money or rob your emotions. She will treat you right as long as you treat her right. 

Go talk to a lot of single mothers  who had men who left them for another woman or abused them. Same situation like the homeless men you talk about. 

When men like that  play victim it's all an one sided story, because the same men don't admit what wrong they did in the relationship for the woman to be pissed off. 

Enough with the MGtow bullshit. Women are humans. Treat them like humans and stop complaining if you're treating them like garbage. 

Actions will always have consequences. Disrespect a woman and she will leave. No surprises. 

 

Edited November 5, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

14 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

But no, most women just want to play games or even just go ghost.

Go get a hooker. She won't say no or ghost. 

Why do you want a real woman to say yes to selling her body for free? 

Edited November 5, 2020 by Preety_India

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India If that was the case than good guys would be drowining in pussy while assholes would be starving for sex. In reality it is the opposite. You as a female want guys to treat you well but the issue is that most females do NOT go for the guys that treat them well. They go for the guys that make them FEEL the way they want to. Being treated good and feeling good are independent variables. Girls do not reward self actualized guys nearly as much as they reward scumbags. Maybe personally you are different but usually girls tend to be like this, especially between 18-25 years old. 

You can easily tell if a guy is a jerk of kind in a few dates so if girls were so selective on his kindness then they would not have issues at all. How about you punish guys if they are arrogant, assertive, over the top, cocky and dickish. That would be a nice change.

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

How about you punish guys if they are arrogant, assertive, over the top, cocky and dickish. That would be a nice change.

Girls at the ages of 18 upwards have a minimal experience of relationships. They act naive. They are not aware of their poor choices. They get manipulated by players. When I was 18 I got fooled as well. Eventually these girls get hurt and learn not to pick such a guy again.

That doesn't mean that a man should start acting like a jerk. 

Men don't act like jerks to get women. These women end up with jerks because only jerks approach them aggressively. Nice men don't approach much or don't put much effort. If nice men approached women more frequently, this will not happen. 

Women are not responsible for the men who approach them. They simply have no choice. The man who puts more effort wins her. But she doesn't deserve to be played. 

And not all women are going to reject. Choose women who want high quality men. You won't experience rejection 

[Shunyata]

You know what? When Shunyamurti was speaking about the ego's inherent sense of lack that comes from it's own inability to abide in true being, and the possibility of achieving real love through surrender, he said that the moment you are going to 'establish' yourself in your true self that has no lack, one starts to get love requests from others more than ever. Sounds like a pretty good idea..

[Thestarguitarist14]

34 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Thestarguitarist14

Don't cover chauvinism and justify it. Western chauvinism on display. 

Being masculine does not translate as treating women like shit. 

A woman wants a Wholesome man just like a man wants a Wholesome woman. 

Men who are happy with a woman (not women) are because they know how to respect her and they don't objectify her and if she is a Wholesome woman (he needs to be a Wholesome man to attract such a woman) then she won't steal your money or rob your emotions. She will treat you right as long as you treat her right. 

Go talk to a lot of single mothers  who had men who left them for another woman or abused them. Same situation like the homeless men you talk about. 

When men like that  play victim it's all an one sided story, because the same men don't admit what wrong they did in the relationship for the woman to be pissed off. 

Enough with the MGtow bullshit. Women are humans. Treat them like humans and stop complaining if you're treating them like garbage. 

Actions will always have consequences. Disrespect a woman and she will leave. No surprises. 

 

What?  Where did I say that being masculine means treating women like shit?

What you are saying is nice in theory, but almost never goes down.  You know why?  Because a good guy gets with a woman.  The woman is bored as the guy end ups just being a provider.  She then meets an “alpha male” (I try not to use those terms) and has an affair with him.  This happens everyday.  But no one wants to talk about this.

Of course men fuck up in relationships all the time.  Like getting with women who do not see them as an “alpha male” but just as an provider.  Basically getting into relationships with women who do not have high attraction for these men personally, just their stability.  The sex and intimacy will be off and those women won’t ever really “love” (I don’t believe that someone outside of your immediate family can love you, but only love the way that you make them feel) those men. 

And MGTOW?  Please.  MGTOW only whine about women.  I am basically say focus on yourself and date.  
 

37 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Go get a hooker. She won't say no or ghost. 

Why do you want a real woman to say yes to selling her body for free? 

What are you even saying?  You see how one sided this is?  All guys want women who will cooperate with them.  Facts.

9 minutes ago, Shunyata said:

You know what? When Shunyamurti was speaking about the ego's inherent sense of lack that comes from it's own inability to abide in true being, and the possibility of achieving real love through surrender, he said that the moment you are going to 'establish' yourself in your true self that has no lack, one starts to get love requests from others more than ever. Sounds like a pretty good idea..

Funny how the more one focuses on themselves the more people places and things gravitate towards them.

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

So the next time you are like “I need a relationship” why don’t you try to figure out what is really going on?  You will probably discover that you feel empty and that a relationship will not fill up this emptiness.

Also the next time you are like "I need to leave this relationship" why don't you figure out what's really going on? You will probably discover that you feel unfulfilled and that leaving the relationship will not erase this lack of fulfillment.

[ThermalTide]

1 hour ago, No Self said:

Some valid points. I don't really have an opinion but here are a few more ideas:

Society does shame people to some degree for being single, especially if it is because they are not 'sexy' enough. Older societies additionally shame people for failing to have children. (And some highly progressive societies shame people FOR having children.) In addition to psychological and biological impulses within the body, society creates a mess using its peer pressure tactics.

Many of the most advanced beings - the Buddha, Jesus, Ramana Maharshi - did not engage in relationships. And they were not 'abstaining', but they simply had a richer, higher purpose than addressing biological cravings of the body.

Many of the LEAST advanced beings - Ted Bundy, Charles Manson - did not engage in committed relationships. They were below a level of consciousness that made genuinely caring for another being possible.

Eckhart Tolle's teachings could be summed up in a few points. All beings are connected. Relationship 'love' is often caused by egos attempting to cover up their underlying sense of pain, which inevitably returns in time, and the partner will be blamed for causing it. And yet, he says that avoiding relationships to escape pain results in less growth than letting failed relationships happen.

Didn't Bundy have a wife at one point?

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

The woman is bored as the guy end ups just being a provider.

This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. 

Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. 

If I chose a bad guy as a husband and if I ended a battered woman, it doesn't mean all men are bad. It's my poor choice.

Learn to take personal responsibility for your choices with women. 

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. 

Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. 

If I chose a bad guy as a husband and if I ended a battered woman, it doesn't mean all men are bad. It's my poor choice.

Learn to take personal responsibility for your choices with women. 

 

Not saying that all women are bad.  That’s just how most women are.  Cutthroat.  I don’t blame women either.  I accept that.  It’s Mother Nature.

Btw, women being cutthroat does not make them bad people.  There is no “bad” in the universe.

Edited November 5, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Not saying that all women are bad.  That’s just how most women are.  Cutthroat.  I don’t blame women either.  I accept that.  It’s Mother Nature.

Over Generalization. Can't help you. Keep practicing self love. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Over Generalization. Can't help you. Keep practicing self love. 

It’s not over generalization.  It is the truth.

Btw, men are not much better.

[Shunyata]

Men and women use each other . They want power

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

It’s not over generalization.  It is the truth.

Btw, men are not much better.

Lmfao you sit with your Generalizations. Peace be with you. Meanwhile people will figure out their own ways of peace. Bye 

[No Self]

15 minutes ago, ThermalTide said:

Didn't Bundy have a wife at one point?

Just looked it up. You are right. Hopefully my point retains some merit.

"During the penalty phase of the trial, Bundy took advantage of an obscure Florida law providing that a marriage declaration in court, in the presence of a judge, constituted a legal marriage. As he was questioning former Washington State DES coworker Carole Ann Boone—who had moved to Florida to be near Bundy, had testified on his behalf during both trials, and was again testifying on his behalf as a character witness—he asked her to marry him. She accepted, and Bundy declared to the court that they were legally married."