Getting Over The Mother Of Your Child

[Callum1991]

Hi everyone I've been going through the worst part of my life. I'm 24 I'd been with my girl for 5 years had a kid after two. We broke up 10 months ago roughly With the intention of getting back together after I sorted my bad habits out she dragged me along while she was seeing another man the whole time.

That hurt deeply now she's only been committed to this guy since December im trying to move on there is next to no contact between us  our little boy is going through our family.

I'm actively trying to be aware of my emotions and not chase negative thoughts I'm improving slightly but there's more work to be done. Would am affimation such as (I'm happier with out Rachel) work if you could help me construct the best one for my position id be very grateful I am desperate to get on the right track with my personal development.

Thank you

[Ayla]

@Callum1991 , 

May I give you some practical advice? But you need to actually get out and do it  

Find the highest public people you can freely access and take a good photo camera with you. Start with first floor and take 10 pictures outside. Go up take 5 pictures at the second floor. Go up to the last floor and only take one picture. 

What you will understand, is that from a wider/higher perspective, problems we perceive are not so heavy, so big that we believe when we are immersed in them. Believe it or not, for everyone involved, there is something better to come than you remaining a family. 

So start from here. You are at the beginning of a new road that you get to chose. As with a map, acknowledging where you are is essential so that you find your way to where you want to go. Take baby steps. One at a time. 

Here is a photo that might help you:

 

[Callum1991]

Thanks Alya is it the wrong move to use affimations in this instance? 

[Ayla]

6 minutes ago, Callum1991 said:

Thanks Alya is it the wrong move to use affimations in this instance? 

No, not at all. Anything that works for you is valid

[Thugkitty]

There are two quotes that I use daily and a few times I used to get over a bad breakup and or a bad relationship really go something like

"live as if everyone was dead" (the original quoted is "live as if your father was dead". I tweaked it to get better results out of my life.)

The other quote is "sometimes you need to be taken out of reality to realize the fatality of reality".

Take the time to really understand these quotes. And you will begin to see your self recoil from.. the negitve emotions.

     -Love and Light

[Vamptacular]

Since you asked, I would recommend that if you think an affirmation might help you must hone and refine the affirmation to only focus exactly on what you do want.  I do mean exact and I do mean "do want".  Many people trip themselves up with wording their affirmations and then wonder why they never feel better or change their minds. 

First thing is first.  This is a weird one that I learned when in a marketing thing 20+ years ago. Use this to begin affirmations when you have doubts about their efficacy but are open to using them:  "My affirmations always work for me whether I believe they do or not."

Next, start with some affirmations- since you indicated that is what you prefer to use.  Something like this instead of what you mentioned that focused on the woman:  
"I am happy with my life and the improvements I make each day."

The focus is solely on you and what you do want and reinforces positive progress you make without judgement.  An improvement can be the smallest, smallest thing ever, so don't judge it.  At any rate, I think you see how I am saying to word your affirmations if you are doing to do so.   just remember the Einstein quote (to paraphrase it here) in that:  the thinking that got you into the problem, won't get you out of it. 

Perhaps write a list and run it by your therapist or a very successful, respected friend to 'proofread' your list and help you refine the language at first.  The more you get to writing these things and they work, the more you can write them on your own, or not write them at all once you are able to self-correct thinking at any single moment eventually (yes, it is possible, I know.)