somewhat bad trip on 20 ug acid?!

[Jayson G]

So I recently tried psychedelics after 2 years. 

I took 20 ug in the morning, a microdose, with the intention of greater productivity, and creativity with my work. 

30 mins in, I *think* I felt more conscious, I don't know honestly. 

I started listening to Leo's music meditation playlist for the first time, and that was amazing. But I don't know if the acid had anything to do with that. 

About 1 hour later, idk I think I felt more "retarded" lmao kind of like when I take weed. I thought I would be more conscious. 

When I say retarded, I mean I started laughing a lot, for no reason, at everything. I was being all goofy and stuff. All by myself. 

Then I went downstairs to talk to my mom, but I got a bit socially anxious. That was weird because I heard 20 ug doesn't affect that. Maybe it was my monkey mind. 

Then I felt like I had all this energy trapped inside me, and I had to release it, so I started doing pushups a lot. (I never do pushups) 

But then from there, all I did was lay in bed, scroll through Tik Tok for the next 5 hours, in pain because the acid kept amplifying this body pain I've been having (winter, chronic tension in the body) 

And my monkey mind was so much. Like I couldn't stop it. For hours and hours until I slept. 

Productivity was absolutely 0 the whole day from the moment I took the acid. 

Just a lot of physical body pain, and a lot of monkey mind, and a lot of non-productivity. 

I'm trying to make sense of this. 

How come almost every report I read shows everyone having great experiences micro-dosing? Why did I feel no benefits of micro-dosing? Why did this make me much less conscious than a typical day? Why were there so many negative side-effects? 

Like everything was opposite of what was expected. Wanting to be more social? Nope, I was more anxious. 

Wanting to be more conscious? nope I was much less conscious. Wanting to be more peaceful? Nope, much more monkey mind. 

Wanting to be more productive? Nope, most unproductive day in a while. 

Like I'm just glad that's over. It's the next day now. And I feel really great. Mentally very clear. Physically great. Energy high. All better than most days. 

[Carl-Richard]

The acid will often show you what you need to work on. For example this chronic tension in the body, do you know what causes it? Is there a solution? This monkey-mind - is there a solution? Try to fix these things and try again. Then see what new stuff it wants to show you.

I remember the first time I took acid as a completely ignorant 18 year old. I had spent hours thinking about funny things that I wanted to experience during the trip ("trippy shit"), and when I actually ended up tripping, I discovered that I had this chronic feeling of dissatisfaction of constantly wanting to experience something interesting. This feeling of constant pressure, along with other forms of existential despair, became the focal point of my trip.

Essentially, my trip brought me in direct contact with the truth of "Dukkha", as conceptualized in Buddhism (commonly translated as "suffering", "unhappiness", "pain", "unsatisfactoriness" or "stress"). I was frenetically grasping onto finite experiences in order to feel pleasure, and rather than keeping my focus on those pleasures, my focus was painfully directed towards this feeling of emptiness.

As disappointing as it was during my trip, it was arguably the deepest insight that has stuck with me ever since the beginning of my spiritual journey and all the way up to today. Dukkha is the most intimate aspect of life: it drives the very impulse of survival itself. Nobody has not felt the ramifications of Dukkha, and it stays with you all the way til your grave... unless you wake up and see through the illusion of separateness and merge with Love.

[Lazertazer]

The acid did not cause a bad trip, it only brought these issues into a greater awareness. These behaviors stem from your subconscious, and the acid made you conscious of how much chaos your mind is creating in your life. A big indicator of this is the Tik-Tok scrolling - your ego was using this unconscious behavior to hide and distract from some radical truths. This is a hint to get soul-sucking apps off your phone. You actually did become more conscious, even if it's not what you expected.

The same monkey-mind, thought loops, anxiety, body pain, etc happened to me the first couple times I did acid. But returning to the psychedelic state semi-weekly, increasing dosages, and meditating enabled me to open my mind and release the underlying fear.

Everything that happened to you during this trip can be fixed over time (or in an instant of profound insight). You need to go really deep into your mind to release the tensions, attachments, and expectations that give rise to your struggles.

The monkey mind goes away when you get good at being present, surrendering to the experience, focusing on the breath and actuality.
The body pain goes away when you learn how to truly relax the body. There are countless tensions you hold in your body that cause pain and anxiety, which can all be consciously released with enough experience.

There are many techniques to get where you want to go: meditation, contemplation, kundalini yoga, cold showers, shamanic breathing, and more psychedelics.
Next time you trip, take a cold shower right beforehand. This almost guarantees a good trip.
When in the psychedelic state, do not scroll your phone. Do not try to manipulate the experience. Simply sit still, surrender, relax, and be open to the insights you don't realize you're avoiding. Take it as a challenge, as the rewards awaiting you are unspeakably amazing.

EDIT: do not take psychedelics expecting to be "productive". The value is in fundamentally changing your perspective, which will enable more vision, purpose, productivity when you aren't tripping.

Edited November 8, 2020 by Lazertazer

[The0Self]

Low doses of acid amplify bodily tension like nothing else. Back in college living in dorms when I struggled with social anxiety I would get insanely intense contraction and pain in the chest if I didn’t dose high enough. When I dosed high I’d feel fine. Years later I became very sensitive to it though and there was basically no amount that I could take that would cause tension. It would just cause ego death or “glimpses” or whatever you wanna call it.

[Jayson G]

@Carl-Richard @Lazertazer @The0Self Thank you guys! I was considering not experimenting again, but this gave me hope. I will go into future trips with this advice in mind  

Also kinda random but does anyone have advice on what you guys do when you have parents in the house? 

I tried it before with them in the house and it was prob not a good idea

I could go to a nature spot but considering it lasts 12 hours, idk how I would use the bathroom, or even just stay there for that long. 

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Jayson G said:

@Carl-Richard @Lazertazer @The0Self Thank you guys! I was considering not experimenting again, but this gave me hope. I will go into future trips with this advice in mind  

Also kinda random but does anyone have advice on what you guys do when you have parents in the house? 

I tried it before with them in the house and it was prob not a good idea

I could go to a nature spot but considering it lasts 12 hours, idk how I would use the bathroom, or even just stay there for that long. 

It depends how big your microdose is. I've microdosed and had dinner with my mom and my brother at the 8hr mark many times without any problems. One time I almost had a panic attack though because I got paranoid about whether or not my pupils were visibly enlarged, but it was a rather large dose and I had smoked weed aswell (not recommended). Take a hike in the forest or sit on a park bench or something.

[The0Self]

11 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

It depends how big your microdose is. I've microdosed and had dinner with my mom and my brother at the 8hr mark many times without any problems. One time I almost had a panic attack though because I got paranoid about whether or not my pupils were visibly enlarged, but it was a rather large dose and I had smoked weed aswell (not recommended). Take a hike in the forest or sit on a park bench or something.

Staring at trees is highly recommended. Perhaps hugging them as well.

[AtheisticNonduality]

Cure body pain by feeling into your body and your mental energy system.

[DualityHurts]

20ug is not a microdose for me and judging by what you described, its not a true microdose for you either. Im taking 2.5ug for a microdose nowadays. I used to take about 10-15ug but over time, less became more. Try 5 ug next time and slowly work up to find the sweet spot. You shouldn't feel impaired at all but a boost of consciousness and heightened sensations.

Edited November 11, 2020 by DualityHurts

[nitramadas]

I sometimes had that while MDing.  It feels a lot like amphetamine on lower doses, weirdly..  It often helps to smoke some weed.  Weed is like made for acid.  Any negative side effects of acid can often be attributed to dehydration, otherwise think about food, blood sugar, and caffeine.  I also find acid + weed make food SO good, like nothing else.  (Especially grapes with cheese..  It's worth MDing weed on top of acid just for that.)

 

[Carl-Richard]

19 minutes ago, nitramadas said:

I sometimes had that while MDing.  It feels a lot like amphetamine on lower doses, weirdly..  It often helps to smoke some weed.  Weed is like made for acid.  Any negative side effects of acid can often be attributed to dehydration, otherwise think about food, blood sugar, and caffeine.  I also find acid + weed make food SO good, like nothing else.  (Especially grapes with cheese..  It's worth MDing weed on top of acid just for that.)

Smoking weed on a microdose will throw you into a full-blown psychedelic trip.

[nitramadas]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

Smoking weed on a microdose will throw you into a full-blown psychedelic trip.

lol, I've done acid dozens of times, all sorts of doses.. w/ weed every time.  It just brings out the positive aspects of acid for me.  

Edited November 11, 2020 by nitramadas

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, nitramadas said:

lol, I've done acid dozens of times, all sorts of doses.. w/ weed every time.  It just brings out the positive aspects of acid for me.  

Do you smoke weed everyday?

[Lyubov]

sounds like it is just surfacing stuff. I'm no expert though. maybe take some time to integrate the trip. I think you should also focus on setting too and not go walking around even if it is a microdose, at least if it's your first time in a while. do some ceremonies on your own and see if you can release stuff instead of just sitting on your phone. 

[Jayson G]

@AtheisticNonduality Why didn't I think of that loll thats a great idea

@Lyubov Yeah I think my whole intention was doing better work, but that just made me more stressed. This time I'll focus on meditation and consciousness so I think I should be fine there. 

@nitramadas Man weed triggers my OCD, I think Imma stay away from that

@DualityHurts I'm actually tempted to take more lol now idk .. I think the problem was I wasn't facing my ego before. Now I know better. Hopefully that would help. @Carl-Richard I'm probably not going to take a risk having dinner with the family loll I like hiking in a forest though

[nitramadas]

10 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Do you smoke weed everyday?

I used to microdose it daily with a vaporize.  Been out of weed for about a year now..

But getting high is a good way of dealing with any sort of acid anxiety, high is kind of the opposite of anxious.

 

Quote

weed triggers my OCD, I think Imma stay away from that

There's thousands of different strains.  Maybe you did a sativa?  Higher CBD weed would definitely not cause that.

[Carl-Richard]

4 minutes ago, nitramadas said:

I used to microdose it daily with a vaporize.  Been out of weed for about a year now..

But getting high is a good way of dealing with any sort of acid anxiety, high is kind of the opposite of anxious.

If you have no way to microdose weed in a controlled fashion, you should generally stay away from it while microdosing LSD.

[UNZARI]

8 hours ago, nitramadas said:

I used to microdose it daily with a vaporize.  Been out of weed for about a year now..

But getting high is a good way of dealing with any sort of acid anxiety, high is kind of the opposite of anxious.

 

There's thousands of different strains.  Maybe you did a sativa?  Higher CBD weed would definitely not cause that.

man ur lucky i smoked weed on acid and was in quiet literally a different universe. my girlfriend was a dream alien, she looked the same but wasn’t the same. and then another time it made my room just a flat 1 dimensional plane and my arms and feet went numb and it felt like i was in hell for 20 mins lmao

[nitramadas]

57 minutes ago, UNZARI said:

man ur lucky i smoked weed on acid and was in quiet literally a different universe. my girlfriend was a dream alien, she looked the same but wasn’t the same. and then another time it made my room just a flat 1 dimensional plane and my arms and feet went numb and it felt like i was in hell for 20 mins lmao

hah, It's taken me to hell before, but I've done it enough times where I mostly just remember the good times.  Hell is always educational though, so it's all good.  

[The0Self]

@nitramadas Same.