Do I Really Need Relationships??

[Santiago]

Hi, I am "stuck" in this area in my life, and according to Maslow I need to get friends, love, sexual intimacy, etc.

The thing is that I haven't found any worthy friends yet,  I even ditched all my "friends", I stopped talking to them like 6 months or 1 year ago because I noticed that they weren't real friends, just people I hanged out with sometimes, and that they are very very unconscious, their only pleasure in life is sex, drugs, tv shows and food, all the meetings used to be to drink alcohol, smoke weed, eat trash food and watch a movie or something like that. So yeah, really useless relationships which I got rid of, but now I am left with 0 friends, which for me is not a problem, I am a very lonely person and I love being with myself and introspecting, thinking about life, I love thinking and I love my imagination, I don't need human interactions as far as I'm concerned.

In the area of love I'm in the same place, I'm 25 and virgin by the way, didn't have sex yet because of a wrong psychology, wrong mindsets, insecurities, and also a lack of interest in investing time and effort in it. But I also feel fine here, I can masturbate if I feel urges and I don't feel empty at all, I don't feel that necessity of feeling loved and having a companion, I felt that void a couple times like 7 years ago, but no more.

I find relationships a waste of time, specially since nobody I've met thinks like me. I am an alien in this society, I love psychology, I study weird self-actualization things, I don't watch tv at all, I don't watch sports, I don't do sports, just gym, I have nothing in common with society. Every time I am around people the conversations are soo boring that I end up daydreaming, playing with my thoughts or studying how the people around me behave which is much more interesting than the conversation.

 

So I am opening this thread because according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs I can't keep going in my self-actualization journey unless I solve this, which for me is really hard to solve btw, because in the first place I don't feel like there is a problem to solve.
I even got much more time for my self-actualization thanks to this "lack" of relationships...

Is it really that important?? Even if I feel just fine on my own and I enjoy my free time doing things to better myself?
 

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, Santiago said:

Hi, I am "stuck" in this area in my life, and according to Maslow I need to get friends, love, sexual intimacy, etc.

The thing is that I haven't found any worthy friends yet,  I even ditched all my "friends", I stopped talking to them like 6 months or 1 year ago because I noticed that they weren't real friends, just people I hanged out with sometimes, and that they are very very unconscious, their only pleasure in life is sex, drugs, tv shows and food, all the meetings used to be to drink alcohol, smoke weed, eat trash food and watch a movie or something like that. So yeah, really useless relationships which I got rid of, but now I am left with 0 friends, which for me is not a problem, I am a very lonely person and I love being with myself and introspecting, thinking about life, I love thinking and I love my imagination, I don't need human interactions as far as I'm concerned.

In the area of love I'm in the same place, I'm 25 and virgin by the way, didn't have sex yet because of a wrong psychology, wrong mindsets, insecurities, and also a lack of interest in investing time and effort in it. But I also feel fine here, I can masturbate if I feel urges and I don't feel empty at all, I don't feel that necessity of feeling loved and having a companion, I felt that void a couple times like 7 years ago, but no more.

I find relationships a waste of time, specially since nobody I've met thinks like me. I am an alien in this society, I love psychology, I study weird self-actualization things, I don't watch tv at all, I don't watch sports, I don't do sports, just gym, I have nothing in common with society. Every time I am around people the conversations are soo boring that I end up daydreaming, playing with my thoughts or studying how the people around me behave which is much more interesting than the conversation.

 

So I am opening this thread because according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs I can't keep going in my self-actualization journey unless I solve this, which for me is really hard to solve btw, because in the first place I don't feel like there is a problem to solve.
I even got much more time for my self-actualization thanks to this "lack" of relationships...

Is it really that important?? Even if I feel just fine on my own and I enjoy my free time doing things to better myself?
 

Having read your post, I suspect that your desire for aloneness comes from resistance to intimacy instead of a genuine desire to be with yourself. I would recommend committing to making a real connection to another human being. Make a real friend. You may feel like you're alone in the way you think, but you're not. You just have to find someone that's willing to accept you as you are that you can go to deeper levels with. You should try to experience one relationship that's gone right. Right now, it seems like you're using various ideas to lie yourself into cutting out other people because you just don't see it work out. I would look up "avoidant attachment style" to see if it fits you. 

[Richard Alpert]

11 hours ago, Santiago said:

Hi, I am "stuck" in this area in my life, and according to Maslow I need to get friends, love, sexual intimacy, etc.

The thing is that I haven't found any worthy friends yet,  I even ditched all my "friends", I stopped talking to them like 6 months or 1 year ago because I noticed that they weren't real friends, just people I hanged out with sometimes, and that they are very very unconscious, their only pleasure in life is sex, drugs, tv shows and food, all the meetings used to be to drink alcohol, smoke weed, eat trash food and watch a movie or something like that. So yeah, really useless relationships which I got rid of, but now I am left with 0 friends, which for me is not a problem, I am a very lonely person and I love being with myself and introspecting, thinking about life, I love thinking and I love my imagination, I don't need human interactions as far as I'm concerned.

In the area of love I'm in the same place, I'm 25 and virgin by the way, didn't have sex yet because of a wrong psychology, wrong mindsets, insecurities, and also a lack of interest in investing time and effort in it. But I also feel fine here, I can masturbate if I feel urges and I don't feel empty at all, I don't feel that necessity of feeling loved and having a companion, I felt that void a couple times like 7 years ago, but no more.

I find relationships a waste of time, specially since nobody I've met thinks like me. I am an alien in this society, I love psychology, I study weird self-actualization things, I don't watch tv at all, I don't watch sports, I don't do sports, just gym, I have nothing in common with society. Every time I am around people the conversations are soo boring that I end up daydreaming, playing with my thoughts or studying how the people around me behave which is much more interesting than the conversation.

 

So I am opening this thread because according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs I can't keep going in my self-actualization journey unless I solve this, which for me is really hard to solve btw, because in the first place I don't feel like there is a problem to solve.
I even got much more time for my self-actualization thanks to this "lack" of relationships...

Is it really that important?? Even if I feel just fine on my own and I enjoy my free time doing things to better myself?
 

Everytime YOU are around people conversations are soo boring. What is the common factor here?

You might want to focus on real life instead of daydreaming and imagining. Im not fucking with you, just saying..

[flhugoboss]

 I'm 25 and virgin by the way, didn't have sex yet because of a wrong psychology, wrong mindsets, insecurities, and also a lack of interest in investing time and effort in it. But I also feel fine here..

That's the problem. Lonely virgin. In fact, you are not fine. That is why you are here. You think you are smart and better than anyone as the hack for high self-esteem. mmm...NOT.

Find no interest in anyone? Yes. The drugs...you can avoid them...you don't have to join the party. You don't have the game to try to get a girlfriend. You want a girlfriend just simply to fock you without time, effort and energy. No way. The reason you are not a success with them because - You are scared of girl and woman. Period.

Yes. I was like you. I was a virgin till age 35. Not a joke. Due to religion...Yes you are laughing.

I was obsessed with not being a laughing stock ...and now... i am not. I am glad things have gone my way and gain supreme self-confidence after having sex. You need to go thru Leo's video about dating and woman. You can not be a success in life without FIRST be a success with a girl or woman PERIOD. I don't care who you are even if you are a billionaire.  

"life is sex, drugs, tv shows and food, all the meetings used to be to drink alcohol, smoke weed, eat trash food and watch a movie or something like that." - if this is what you choose.

You can leverage your friends and go to as meetup as possible to "FIND" the one that is truly not into sex, drugs tv shows and junk foods but only into you, if you have any 'content' or 'sex' power (not a virgin by the way) that girl or mature woman wants.

I encourage you to do the sex but not the drugs, forget about tv, no alcohol and weed and no junk food, please.