What is a waste of time and what is not a waste of time?

[Strangeloop]

Like seriously, I think that I'm wasting my time, on forums, watching tv shows, whole life is a waste of time to me. Then the question arises, what is worthwhile doing? Is it anything that gives the most amount of money? Or is it something that gives the best states of consciousness? 

Life itself is time, however I spent it. Even here I write these sentences and think to myself, is this a waste of time? Or(and) are there benefits to this? 

I think it connects with the meaninglesnness of life. What is meaningful to do, not to do? So many questions and so little answers... Anything that I bring myself to do, I see it colapsing into tiny pieces and never to be seen again. And then again it comes back. It comes back with more and more. What is this "it"? 

Okay so let's be more specific here. Let's say Beatbox is something worthwhile doing. Does it make me happy? Or is it something my ego wants to do? I had this thought that I need to prove to my dad that I'm capable of achieving success with my passion. Success means earning money from the work you do. Atleast to my dad that is. (I think I'm projecting here). 

Money is a neccesserry for survival (if you want to buy food from the grocerys store that is.) And then again it's not. So many ages people have not used money and they did just fine.

So what do you think? What is worthwhile doing?

[PurpleTree]

You can only really tell what's a waste of time for yourself imo.

For me things like travelling, going out into nature are almost always worth doing and maybe at some point they won't.

Imagine you're in detention and have to fill your time or you already passed the finish line at a race, what would you like to do now?

[Strangeloop]

@PurpleTree Something else

[PurpleTree]

5 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

@PurpleTree Something else

Yea our boy Eckhart Tolle is probably right when he says "It's not really about what you do but how you do it"

With acceptance, the least resistance possible, staying in the moment etc.

[Eph75]

It is quite relative to your own objectives, isn't it? And objectives are quite relative to where you are on your developmental journey.

A very simple example; spending time on the forum to gain perspectives and grow yourself in different ways is "useful", while spending time on the forum being dogmatic about your beliefs and arguing with people is a "waste of time".

If the time spent is adding value to your objectives, or your calling, whatever that might be, then it isn't "waste of time". What that calling might be, and if/how it relates to the world and others and if/how that changes humanity to come is a related subject. A risk of course if that your calling is irrelevant from a more holistic perspective, or even toxic.

If your calling is to become a master at playing video games, then practice is useful to achieve this. Yet it is not very likely to be useful to make a living, nor useful towards some greater calling, e.g. the future of humanity.

"Waste of time/well invested time" is relative to your calling, and the usefulness of your calling. On someone else's scale it might be useless..

If we want to retire to some cave to eat maggots and meditate for the rest of your life, and you find that sustainable and peaceful, who's there to judge the objective usefulness?

Sure, that opens up to making all sorts of "bad" judgement calls, but that's life isn't it? Navigating choices as best as we can, with as much awareness as we have.

The question is, can you catch yourself when you're bullshitting yourself?

If you go against your authentic self and subdue to the ego desires you'll end up with conflicting thoughts that is the growing ground for "unhappiness".

[Preety_India]

Simple thumb rule. 

If you are adding value to your life in doing what you are doing in the moment, it's a good use of time. 

If you are not adding value to your life in doing what you are doing in the moment, it's a waste of time. 

 

[Strangeloop]

How do I know what is valuable to me? 

Just saying, if I'm going to do something for a long period of time then it might aswell not be a waste of time. Or I'm just going end up nowhere. How do I distinguish what the ego wants and what the authentic self wants? Aren't they the same? Still this duality just makes my mind go crazy. All of these polar opossites in language...

[Strangeloop]

@Marinador Okay, Thank you.

[Eph75]

There's a big difference between "going nowhere" and "going somewhere", the latter doesn't have to mean that you know what your calling is, you can still take steps towards "somewhere" and that "somewhere" can shift over time, yet the time invested is not wasted.

In a sense, starting out building a sound foundation on which everything else gets built.  Spot what you identify as waste, then be authentic by addressing that, and then just keep doing that. It will allow for building that foundation but also, for each step you take, you gain a new perspective and a direction starts to manifest, a direction that could transform into your calling/life purpose/vision. Once you get going, the "ball" just tend to "keep rolling" and new opportunities present themselves. Moving from thought to action is harder.

Deciding this at a young age is like deciding what your favorit food is going to be for the rest of your life. How could you possibly know, you haven't had time to sample the food market enough to make that call.

Unfortunately the answers to these kind of questions are not served on silver platters, they are things that you will have to figure out for yourself.

In a sense, that's the journey that is life.

But don't take it too seriously, there's no one direction in life so whatever direction you end up focusing on can manifest much later in life. After all, it's all about the journey, isn't it  

Edited November 3, 2020 by Eph75

[Ethos]

Indeed it's very relative what's worthwhile to do. But consider this, in my personal experience I have notice there's a craving for chaos and craving por peace. 
Perhaps right now watching netflix or chilling might seem like a stagnant experience. But later, when you are overwelmed by life, maybe shutting down or taking some time feels very worthwhile. 

I would say there's no such thing as a waste of time, because everything happens because it should and at it's own pace. What happened before is filled with lessons that can only be apreciated from the future. So, is there really something useless? 

[Strangeloop]

@Ethos @Eph75 There is a reason for a reason. And that reason has it's own reason. There are times when we want to feel like accomplishing something. That's why wasting time(or a paradigm of it) is such a crucial factor. Feeling like I need to rush things even when it's not neccessary. This feeling of inadequecy. Like something is going to happen if I don't rush, like I'll waste time because there's no time. It's a mindfuck really.

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

So what do you think? What is worthwhile doing?

Anything you do with love is worthwhile doing.

I actually have a list of things I love doing. Things like art, spending time in nature, etc.

This list has taken me a lot time to cultivate though. I had so many distorted perceptions / limiting beliefs that it was almost impossible for me to tell what I really loved doing. You might have to go through a similar process.

[Eph75]

1 hour ago, Strangeloop said:

There are times when we want to feel like accomplishing something.

There are opportunities for accomplishments everywhere, all the time, just start with smaller increments and you get into the habit of having small successes. The snowball effect will run its course, greater successes awaits.

1 hour ago, Strangeloop said:

Feeling like I need to rush things even when it's not necessary.

What is the rush? What is rushing you?

Is the feeling rational or irrational?

In this day and age everything is rushed, a time of instant gratification, we want results and we want them now. In reality, 10 years of invested time is more realistic, before hard results happen.

1 hour ago, Strangeloop said:

This feeling of inadequacy.

What is this about?

5 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

Then the question arises, what is worthwhile doing? Is it anything that gives the most amount of money? Or is it something that gives the best states of consciousness? 

Is that inadequacy linked to the amount of money vs. state of consciousness questions above?

• If you focus on well being, do you feel that you will be side-stepping building monetary wealth?
• If you focus on monetary wealth, do you feel like you will be side-stepping well being?

Where does the expectation that creates the inadequacy come from?

Again, is it rational or irrational?

Edited November 3, 2020 by Eph75

[Strangeloop]

@Eph75 My brother told me that I'm falling behind. My mother told me I act inadequate. 

I feel like I need to catch up to my peers, maybe even overtake them. In money, sex partners, car value all of this material stuff. I see that it's the orange (Spiral dynamics) in me. It's probably something I will need to intergrate.

I feel inadequate whenever I fail at something, failing meaning making a mistake, e.g. almost hitting a car while driving, not being smooth with girls, not getting the attention from women, less likes on facebook when others. Thoughts on my sexuality. Earning less than others, doing less, fat on my body, rejections from other people. My own neediness. 

What is rational or irrational I do not know.

[Aquarius]

What is worth doing and what isn't worth doing depends totally on what kind of person you are and what your goal in life is.

People dedicate their lives to many things, for example some find gaming a waste of time (especially on self-help forums like this), while others make a career out of it. For the first person there are a set of different values and priorities, that's why he or she might find gaming a distraction from those values, for example if the said person finds value in studying and taking courses or maintaining high grades in a  university setting. Then gaming will mean distraction and loss of valuable time that could've been used for studying. For the second person, if he or she games more, that's just more experience for his or her gaming career, so it's a win for them.

So you see, it totally depends what your likes, dislikes, values and principles in life are. 

And even if the person is pursuing a different goal than becoming a professional gamer or a professional beatboxer, like you mentioned, or a singer.. doing things even for fun can have value in it. Like you see many professional people in all areas of life, some of them will take up a hobby like an instrument, singing, beatboxing, gaming, sports, etc. Because we are human, not work-robots or money-making machines, in the end. 

 

Things can be valuable for different reasons. Sometimes just as raw and basic value like part of survival (you're gaming after a long day of work to ease stress, or else you'd go insane or even commit suicide, without something to calm you and take the stress away), other times as complex as providing value for society in various ways or leaving behind knowledge for the coming ages (for people spending hours a days on Quora, forums, blogs/vlogs, people making free courses, people who share their knowledge, people who volunteer as listeners to people in emotional crisis). Or taking walks in nature for your well-being. Or making art for therapeutic purposes, or just because you simply like it. There's no need to be always a serious reason behind the things you do. Things you enjoy doing are usually not a waste of time. 

It's helpful to know the deep reasons behind your actions if you want to hold yourself accountable and to not lose time on less important things when there needs to be more focus on the important ones. Most of the things you do will be survival related, but that's okay. It still helps to be conscious of them. And other times things you do will be for purely the sake of happiness it brings. 

High values are usually: responsibility, discipline, perfection, ambition, hard-work. But you can also find value in recreational activities and connection with others, that's why people sing, dance and create art without making money from it. If every time you beatboxed you had to do it for money, would it have the same value and meaning to you? 

 

Some things cannot be measured by money and they're still valuable. For example if you want a good relationship, you might invest money in it (relationship therapy, gifts, vacations, traveling, creating a home for you two), but the relationship itself doesn't have a monetary value. Your girlfriend won't have a price because she is not an object. And you cannot buy a relationship, it just doesn't work that way. Nor does the relationship bring money to you (or at least it shouldn't), yet you find value in going out on dates.

Neither can you buy health. You can buy things to improve your health, but most things to maintain your health are free, like exercise and good sleep. You cannot buy sleep, you cannot buy health if you destroyed it with smoking or fast food. Health doesn't have a monetary price, yet it's very valuable, if not the most valuable thing. Health is not money, yet you pursue activities to maintain your health.

You cannot buy reputation, yet it is valuable and you make actions to be viewed as a good person. You cannot buy talent, but it has value. Friends are not money, yet you may find value in friendship. And so on...

 

Yes, you need a career and you need to make a living, but you cannot base your whole life on only pursuing money. Maybe you're in a phase of life when you are working towards a career and that's why now money and success is the most important thing.

Being financially independent is a very fundamental thing and you should work towards it very early in life. Just don't neglect other things you find valuable either. Because you'll never be happy by only pursuing money and fame. And the best way to earn money is through your passions, but only if they are realistic. 

 

So I think pursuing your passions, working towards financial independence and hanging out with friends, having a relationship, etc. and hobbies are all worth pursuing. And things that are unrealistic, are bad to your reputation, or your health or are making you lazy are not worth pursuing. 

[Aquarius]

6 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

@Eph75 My brother told me that I'm falling behind. My mother told me I act inadequate. 

I feel like I need to catch up to my peers, maybe even overtake them. In money, sex partners, car value all of this material stuff. 

That's called the rat-race. 

It is a way of life in which people are caught up in a fiercely competitive struggle for wealth or power. You always want more and more and no matter how much you have it's never enough. 

 

Its opposite is lifestyle minimalism. 

 

[Eph75]

Partake in your own race, don't fall into the trap of becoming a part of others races, comparing yourself with others successes. There will always be someone that is better than you, and all those others combined will be better from every aspect you could possibly think of. That trap is a self-esteem-destroyer.

Focus on yourself, do your best and don't compare that best against others accomplisments.

Quit Facebook and similar social medias, they're will make you feel inadequate. Fake success and extraordinary people seem like the norm, but it is not. Faked facades to fool others into thinking that they are not as miserable as everyone else. 

Redefine "failure" from being something bad into something necessary, a requirement to success is to fail. No one can succeed all the time, there must be failures but they are truly only failures if you let then set you back. Use them as lessons of life and learning opportunities, that which they are. 

Also daring attempts increase the risk of failure, yet, daring attempts asserts great developmental growth - and great successes. 

With that said, only you know best if you really are wasting time doing nothing, not even attempting, or if you are doing your best. And that you have the power to change. 

Edited November 3, 2020 by Eph75

[Strangeloop]

 Trying to do something on social media, let's say I want to be famous. Over the year my facebook group reached 300 members. Also doing stuff on my page and instagram, youtube. It's just a matter of following through it and keep posting so I could get some leads towards courses I'll be releasing, working on building a reputation for further business opportunities. It gets me going for awhile, but then I fall back again. It's just a matter of getting back up and going forward. Posting more, not to spam with low quality, but just to post something for a start.

maybe I'll build a following over the years like Leo did and will be financially independant making my passions the source of money I so crave.

Edited November 3, 2020 by Strangeloop

[PurpleTree]

18 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

  let's say I want to be famous.

Well if that's your incentive, then that seems like the ego for sure.

[Strangeloop]

@PurpleTree Though I can let him seek for that, maybe he will like it maybe not, but I don't want it. Sure it's selfish. Rationalizing about it won't help. I mean don't I have to have some following to be financially independant? The way I do business -does mean that. So whenever I try to stop myself from getting what the ego wants, that's then I shoot myself in the foot. Too much writing for me today...