Is it even worth getting a girlfriend?

[Barbara]

@Thestarguitarist14 sounds like you're just saying something to be disruptive. As leo said, you should go and acquire direct experience. Just be open minded 

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 hour ago, Barbara said:

@Thestarguitarist14 sounds like you're just saying something to be disruptive. As leo said, you should go and acquire direct experience. Just be open minded 

No I am not.  Also, I do not take everything that also says as gospel.

[EternalForest]

@Strangeloop It's possible to find a girlfriend who'll be happy to go on date with you at the local park. Beautiful scenery, good exercise, and no money required 

[Gesundheit]

What does "worth" even mean?

If you want experience, it depends on the number and quality of girls, and your money.

If you want to mature, grow up, and develop yourself, any girl will help you achieve that.

If you want sex, all girls have vaginas.

If you want a deep committed relationship, find girls with similar interests.

If you just want to conform to your circle of friends, any girl will do.

So what do you want?

[Strangeloop]

@Gesundheit Just a someone to spend time with. So I wouldn't spend my time being alone and miserable watching netflix all the time. Atleast if I watch netlfix anyway it'll be with someone.

[Thestarguitarist14]

@Strangeloop Check out my thread “Choosing signals paradigm”.  Should help you out. 

[Gesundheit]

2 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

@Gesundheit Just a someone to spend time with. So I wouldn't spend my time being alone and miserable watching netflix all the time. Atleast if I watch netlfix anyway it'll be with someone.

Not worth it.

[Strangeloop]

@Gesundheit Then why even bother? What, will I stay alone forever then? No one to talk to, just myself. No one to touch, no one to be with besides myself...

Seems lonely. And then again lonelyness is not a bad thing if I feel good being alone.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Strangeloop

get a dude friend - company

get a hooker - sex

get a maid - domestic needs

never met a girl that would inspire me in my entire life (like intelligence, beauty, interests, etc - wise)

not even kidding, are there any worthwile girls to chase after? no direct exeprience of that in 30 years, and I lived in like 10 cities and worked in like 20 jobs, where do you want me to look, on a fucking moon?

 

Edited November 5, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Gesundheit]

3 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

@Gesundheit Then why even bother? What, will I stay alone forever then? No one to talk to, just myself. No one to touch, no one to be with besides myself...

Seems lonely. And then again lonelyness is not a bad thing if I feel good being alone.

How about this? Since you don't really need a gf, just for fun, you can try to go and practice pick-up. It would put you in advantage to be detached from the outcome and you'd humble down your ego. After that, if things go well and you get a gf, you can experience for yourself how it's like and if it's good for you.

[Strangeloop]

@Gesundheit Good idea. I "picked" this girl that I escalated quickly with, but I f-ed it up by taking advice from Leo from the red flag video, I basically saw all of the red flags in the girl and we fell apart as quickly as we found each other.

[somegirl]

On 11/2/2020 at 6:12 PM, Strangeloop said:

I never had a girlfriend for longer than 3weeks... Sounds pathetic to me. It is how it is though. 

I've been thinking. if I somehow manage to get a girlfriend. then it would take some resources to keep her, mental and material like money. I would need to give attention to the relationship to the partner. It sounds like I'll have to take responsibility on what I say to her, if I promise her anything I'll have to keep that promise.

And then again I would need money to get her places, to have dinner and stuff. 

I also think that I need a car to have a girlfriend. Most guys my age have them both, girls and cars.

 

I dont know amy thoughts?

On 11/3/2020 at 6:17 AM, Strangeloop said:

I've been single my whole life and yes, getting into relationship seems like a chore to me. It's like I would need to help her out with stuff. I would need to listen to her, obligate myself to her. And it doesn't sound interesting, because it's something I have to do, just to try it. Just to have sex and maybe some of this "looking into each other's soul" kinda thing. It would be nice though. It would be nice to have someone to open up to deeply. Tell them my secrets and have conversations about life. It's just wishful thinking though.

As you said for now I'll focus on myself, loving myself, practicing my arts, doing some bussiness on fb and youtube, instagram. Reading, exercise etc.

 

This doesn't sound right. You wouldn't HAVE to do any of it. You would WANT to do it, becauce you like to do stuff for her. That is, when you're really interested in a girl.
You're thinking about this in a wrong way. Maybe change your view on relationship and having a girlfriend and things will change.

 

[UDT]

On 02/11/2020 at 6:29 PM, Thestarguitarist14 said:

There are only three reasons to get a girlfriend/get married 

1)Domestic needs (owning a home, cleaning, cooking,etc).

2)Having children.

3)Consistent sex.

If you are not looking for the first two and don’t mind not having consistent sex then you are better off just going and looking for fun.

You states some things that you believe you need to get a girlfriend.  All those are limiting beliefs.  While yes, those hold water with materialistic women, there are women who don’t care about any of that.

Also, stop comparing yourself to the guys around you.  I bet most of them also have mediocre relationships.  Is that what you want?

In your case, I’d suggest that you casually date two or three women.  That way you won’t become so attached.

 

:DDD

Dude youre gonna have a bad time with this strategy. Just saying

 

[Strangeloop]

@somegirl Change to want? How do I cahnge perspective? Am I just going to add another perspective on my old ones?

[Thestarguitarist14]

21 minutes ago, UDT said:

 

:DDD

Dude youre gonna have a bad time with this strategy. Just saying

 

Nah.  I am not even looking to get into a relationship.  But if I did, I would only do it that way.  
 

Unlile most guys on here I do not live under the illusion that you can actually be in love with a woman and have a healthy relationship (anyone who has ever been in love knows that while it is an amazing feeling, women begin to lose attraction for you and it is the beginning of the end.  She probably never loved you anyway, just wanted your validation).  
 

I am about the truth, not done lovey dovey nonsense.

[UDT]

3 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Strangeloop

get a dude friend - company

get a hooker - sex

get a maid - domestic needs

never met a girl that would inspire me in my entire life (like intelligence, beauty, interests, etc - wise)

not even kidding, are there any worthwile girls to chase after? no direct exeprience of that in 30 years, and I lived in like 10 cities and worked in like 20 jobs, where do you want me to look, on a fucking moon?

 

HAHAHA

Duuude youre 100%. I guess thats why Elon wants to go to Mars. 
 

Stop looking and build, the rest is gonna work itself out.

[Darlisto]

The magic from love, intimacy and deep passionate union is not only that is one of the most beautiful things in life, it's also deeply similar to the unity you create with reality. It can be the greatest muse for your life purpose and all your creativity. Besides, being in a relationship is one of the quickest way to self-actualize because you're constantly confronted with a deep mirror you can learn from and share with. 

All the things you mention you need is not needed, if you truly find deep union and love inside of each other, all the rest is just icing on the cake.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@UDT I'm 100% what? Build what?

[Arcangelo]

My man @Thestarguitarist14  dropping wisdom. Listen to him young guys it will save you years of your life.