Is life inherently dissatisfying?

[No Self]

17 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

My therapist (who has some spiritual concepts, but is overall more 3-D) is really into relationships as I get further and further away from those.  I do my thing, as you said, old patterns come in (going after after sex) and then when some bullshit happens I am pissed.

That quote is interesting.  A lot of people can be happy, but being happy within and without is a different thing.  And doing that consistently is another.

Yes, most people have to work for a long time to have any sort of consistency. Some people like Eckhart seem to win the spiritual lottery and never lose touch with the background of peace and joy.

Relationships are an interesting topic. Neale Donald Walsch says there is a paradox. We do not have any need for another in order to be complete, and yet without others, we miss the whole function of the physical world of relativity. The whole "you cannot have big without small, light without dark, good without evil" sort of thing is very fundamental to this understanding.

Perhaps everything is a relationship in this world. There seems to be some sort of relationship with any beings we come into contact with, relationships to institutions, relationships to cultures, relationships to ideas, even a relationship to the body and mind... yet from the ultimate perspective, none is real except the Self alone.

[Byun Sean]

27 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

And this whole thing about relationships and friendships helping is nonsense.  To put it into more technical terms, it is bullshit.  That is just some things that we have been brainwashed to believe.  You get married, but it is dysfunction that brought you two together and you only stay together because of your carnal desires.  Friends only stay friends out of convenience, even if their friendship is toxic.

It is not all nonsense.

Like most things in life: relationships/ friendships have an amazing healthy side to them and a toxic side. It is not all 'bullshit' or blind need fulfilling.

They can actually help you spiritually even.

But the friendships and marriages mainstream society shows us are largely not very conscious. So the toxic aspects are emphasized ten-fold when we get into consciousness work.

But in the end everyone grows in different ways and at their own pace so don't feel pressured to be with somebody or alone.

Relationships are mainly just for growth and fun. So if you aren't having fun with people it's probably best if you grow alone.

 

[PurpleTree]

these recent weeks have been pretty satisfying for me, even though i don't have a gf and 'm not really meeting any new people etc.

i wonder if it's just a phase of calmness and inner satisfaction? it probably is since nothing is permanent

[ivory]

7 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

But will the physical ever be satisfying?  Is that a futile pursuit?

Are you familiar with the three characteristics (also known as the three marks of existence)? Meditate on that. The first characteristic is that nothing lasts. The second is that all of life is unsatisfactory (in one way or another). So, you tell me.

That said, when you accept life on a deep level, even with the ups and downs and disappointments you can reach a level of okay-ness. That's what you're looking for.

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 hour ago, No Self said:

Yes, most people have to work for a long time to have any sort of consistency. Some people like Eckhart seem to win the spiritual lottery and never lose touch with the background of peace and joy.

Relationships are an interesting topic. Neale Donald Walsch says there is a paradox. We do not have any need for another in order to be complete, and yet without others, we miss the whole function of the physical world of relativity. The whole "you cannot have big without small, light without dark, good without evil" sort of thing is very fundamental to this understanding.

Perhaps everything is a relationship in this world. There seems to be some sort of relationship with any beings we come into contact with, relationships to institutions, relationships to cultures, relationships to ideas, even a relationship to the body and mind... yet from the ultimate perspective, none is real except the Self alone.

I wonder what Eckart is like off camera.  Though he does seem to be authentically at peace with what is.  His books are amazing.

I think that we all have gotten so hung up on romantic relationships and relationships with others that we forget about all those other things.  Also that the most important relationship that we have is with ourselves.  Which is actually something to reckon with, being with yourself.  Especially during a pandemic.

53 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

It is not all nonsense.

Like most things in life: relationships/ friendships have an amazing healthy side to them and a toxic side. It is not all 'bullshit' or blind need fulfilling.

They can actually help you spiritually even.

But the friendships and marriages mainstream society shows us are largely not very conscious. So the toxic aspects are emphasized ten-fold when we get into consciousness work.

But in the end everyone grows in different ways and at their own pace so don't feel pressured to be with somebody or alone.

Relationships are mainly just for growth and fun. So if you aren't having fun with people it's probably best if you grow alone.

 

Well yeah.  There is usually a reason why I got into a relationship or dated someone or became friends with them.  It felt good.  But looking back, it’s only that they mirrored my childhood stuff so they seemed attractive to me (specifically romantic partners).  I did this meditation that helped me get over two women I was seeing over the last year.  In one hand was the good.  The other hand held the bad.  The bad our weighted the good.

I do agree relationships help you spiritually.  But it’s not all good.  After getting ghosted from a woman that I was seeing (late August) I have completely changed.  I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

It is true that what the mainstream shows is bad.  But I’ll be honest, I have never had a good relationship or a really good friendship. They all ended rather poorly.  I also do not know anyone who has had a good relationship or a truly good friendship.  Not saying that they do not exist.  But they are rare in today’s society.

I have been realizing during this awakening that I only had fun with people when I was having sex, smoking weed/doing drugs or drinking.  And all were all short thrills.  I quit drugs (not including psychedelics), quit drinking and haven’t had sex in a bit which has sharpened my emotions and my emotional intelligence.  Anyway, most people (granted I live in L.A so take that for what it’s worth) are fake and are only out for themselves.  I have been burned too many times I suppose. 
 

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

these recent weeks have been pretty satisfying for me, even though i don't have a gf and 'm not really meeting any new people etc.

i wonder if it's just a phase of calmness and inner satisfaction? it probably is since nothing is permanent

I have been there.  Don’t worry.  Darkness always comes back.  You will just not overreact.

42 minutes ago, ivory said:

Are you familiar with the three characteristics (also known as the three marks of existence)? Meditate on that. The first characteristic is that nothing lasts. The second is that all of life is unsatisfactory (in one way or another). So, you tell me.

That said, when you accept life on a deep level, even with the ups and downs and disappointments you can reach a level of okay-ness. That's what you're looking for.

Yeah, I am familiar with them, though I haven’t been studying Buddhism lately.  
 

You can say that my philosophy is heavily influenced on Buddhism.  Particularly their views of relationships with others.

The problem isn’t really not being okay with disappointments.  I have had enough of them to not get too carried away.  The problem is if this is all futile.  I also don’t desire an “okay” life.  I desire a great life.  The best way I can describe is I made a song where I am talking about how things have gone wrong, how I wish for my childhood, how I feel different from everyone, how the past haunts me, but I refuse to let my hopes and dreams fade.  One of the best songs that I have written (coming out 2021).

It’s funny.  As adults we are no different than teenagers.  We all just desire fun.  It’s just that society makes us believe that we can only be “responsible adults.”

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I have been there.  Don’t worry.  Darkness always comes back.  You will just not overreact.

 

[Reciprocality]

Yes Arthur, so it is.

[ivory]

41 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

The problem isn’t really not being okay with disappointments.  I have had enough of them to not get too carried away.  The problem is if this is all futile.  I also don’t desire an “okay” life.  I desire a great life.  The best way I can describe is I made a song where I am talking about how things have gone wrong, how I wish for my childhood, how I feel different from everyone, how the past haunts me, but I refuse to let my hopes and dreams fade.  One of the best songs that I have written (coming out 2021).

Yeah, I hear ya. The first noble truth is that all of life is suffering. I get that. The question is, how much suffering? We need a reason to wake up in the morning but we need to be honest about the fact that we have very little control. That doesn't mean that we should play victim. But it does mean that there are no guarantees.

41 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

It’s funny.  As adults we are no different than teenagers.  We all just desire fun.  It’s just that society makes us believe that we can only be “responsible adults.”

Yes, and this pisses me off. I still struggle with this.

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 hour ago, ivory said:

Yeah, I hear ya. The first noble truth is that all of life is suffering. I get that. The question is, how much suffering? We need a reason to wake up in the morning but we need to be honest about the fact that we have very little control. That doesn't mean that we should play victim. But it does mean that there are no guarantees.

 

I remember listening to this monk on how suffering is more of a choice (he feels that the Buddha was misinterpreted), but it is pain that is unavoidable.  I think it is more or less choosing things knowing that there will be pain involved, but it being worth it.  Like, working on my album has caused me some fatigue.  But it is something that I am comfortable.  There’s no free lunch.

1 hour ago, ivory said:

Yes, and this pisses me off. I still struggle with this.

With this pandemic things are going to shift.

[Nthnl]

12 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I have been reading Johnny the homicidal  maniac (Great dark comedy comic book, the first thing from the creditor of invader zim) And reading other things as well.  This has been going through my my for years especially when Louis CK (before Metoo) said in an interview on fresh air how life is unsatisfying.

Do you all believe this to be true?  I will say that the older I get the more I realize just how shitty everything is.  Most people, organizations, places and industries are either shitty, fake, or boring.  Most people are out for themselves.  The dating world is at an all time low.  Some men are so stuck in their egos that they go MGTOW.  Some do pick up and stay there forever as there that’s it.  Marriage is a joke.  I can go on.

This is where spirituality comes in and it indeed help to see through the illusion.  It indeed can make living easier.  But will the physical ever be satisfying?  Is that a futile pursuit?

Satisfaction is subjective. You can be satisfied by almost anything, if you want to be.