Game is not good for long term relationships (video)

[Preety_India]

Just now, AtmoShark said:

Excellent. Truly looking forward to you continuing that behavior. The last thing we need is more clueless men taking your "advice" and enabling ineffective behaviors that frustrates both men and women. 

Just so you know, nobody is taking my advice nor do I wish to give any, especially to people like you who constantly demonize others for their opinions and who are never open minded enough to listen to what others have to say. 

You don't like my advice, don't read it, no need to taunt. 

I'm not wasting my time arguing nonsense with you. Move on. 

[AtmoShark]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Just so you know, nobody is taking my advice nor do I wish to give any, especially to people like you who constantly demonize others for their opinions and who are never open minded enough to listen to what others have to say. 

You don't like my advice, don't read it, no need to taunt. 

I'm not wasting my time arguing nonsense with you. Move on. 

Thanks for telling me what to do, I really needed that. Apparently you make decisions for me now.

My mind has bullshit boundaries and isn't just open for any idea to walk in and settle down.

I truly don't care about your advice because I can recognize it for what it is: ineffective. What I do care about is some young man reading it, taking it to heart, and experiencing the absolute garbage results that it will manifest, which in turn frustrates both the man and any woman he may have created a solid relationship with had he been given proper advice from someone who knew what they were talking about.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, AtmoShark said:

My mind has bullshit boundaries and isn't just open for any idea to walk in and settle down.

I suggest work on your boundaries a bit. 

If you had really good boundaries, you probably wouldn't have bothered to respond in the first place. 

[AtmoShark]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

I suggest work on your boundaries a bit. 

If you had really good boundaries, you probably wouldn't have bothered to respond in the first place. 

Re-read the part about in my last post about an impressionable young man following bad advice and take a few moments to think about why that needs to be addressed. It's not all about me.

[Preety_India]

Just now, AtmoShark said:

Re-read the part about in my last post about an impressionable young man following bad advice and take a few moments to think about why that needs to be addressed. It's not all about me.

Everyone is free to state their opinions right or wrong. You don't have some kind of an authority on opinions. You don't get to decide who is right or wrong for the entire population. People are not babies, they can think for themselves. 

 

[AtmoShark]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Everyone is free to state their opinions right or wrong. You don't have some kind of an authority on opinions. You don't get to decide who is right or wrong for the entire population. People are not babies, they can think for themselves. 

 

Show me where I claim to be an authority on opinions. Show me where I decide who is right or wrong for the entire population.

[Preety_India]

Just now, AtmoShark said:

Show me where I claim to be an authority on opinions. Show me where I decide who is right or wrong for the entire population.

Like I said I don't want to argue with you. You're not ready to let go. 

Don't quote me when I'm not interested in arguing with you. Move on. 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I read your arguments. My question is simple and you always avoid it. Why dont girls reject guys for being assertive, dominant, arrogant and ruthless. If girls dislike people that treat them badly then these attributes should be a NO NO since they make you an abusive piece of shit in relationships. Would really appreciate a response.

[Preety_India]

50 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India I read your arguments. My question is simple and you always avoid it. Why dont girls reject guys for being assertive, dominant, arrogant and ruthless. If girls dislike people that treat them badly then these attributes should be a NO NO since they make you an abusive piece of shit in relationships. Would really appreciate a response.

That's because girls are naive when they are inexperienced in relationships. The pua community has put this idea in your head that girls like only assholes. This is not true. What is really happening is that only assholes have the confidence to approach women. They don't care about rejection, they have high confidence and they are not shy at all. So girls get approached by such men in a majority. Rarely does a good guy ever thinks about approaching a woman and even if he does he doesn't do it confidently, he is shy, he immediately gives up and doesn't pursue the girl further. The girl stands no chance because he disappears. Some guys don't even bother to approach out of fear of rejection. Now the asshole has no fear. So he keeps persuading the woman till she says yes to him. The woman does not realize that he is an asshole and thinks maybe he loves her. She takes his constant persuasion and effort as a sign of love and accepts his advances. After a few months she discovers that he is acting like an asshole, cheating on her or treating her badly and breaks off with him. This is in no way means that girls are only looking for assholes. They want the right man but they will need to wait for a really long time for one good man to come in their lives. Almost 90% of men who approach them are assholes who only want sex and want to play with them with no intention of a good relationship. Girls are very easy to get manipulated. Asshole guys are great at manipulation. They have learned how to manipulate a woman and trick her into thinking that he loves her truly and madly. This is deception. Most women use their hearts instead of their brains. They fall for the trick. They easily believe the guy only to be fooled later..this is what usually happens in a typical girl-with-an-asshole kind of a relationship. It happened to me and several of my friends. It's a very common thing that happens with women especially with their first boyfriends because they don't have any experience of male nature so they can't tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy. This is what the pick up community takes advantage of. But these girls, just like me, learn over time that these men are not good and they start to develop filters and barriers to keep such men away. Their experience teaches them to spot red flags in a man and they can easily tell which guy is an asshole based on their experiences. Then they learn to reject the asshole and eventually accept the good guy in life and marry him. But girls have to go through this learning process in order to finally understand which guy is a good guy. These bad boys get girls temporarily because the girls are stupid and inexperienced and later these girls leave them after some learning. Eventually these bad boys end up lonely because no girl wants them after seeing their dating history. The pua community makes it look like a man has to be an asshole to get a girl and keep her. Actually thats very bad advice. If a guy did that, he will always keep losing the women in his life and never be happy. Every woman will leave him after seeing his behavior in the relationship. If he wants to keep his girlfriend then he needs to stop being an asshole and have a loving kind respectful relationship with the woman, only then she will stay with him forever. But pua does not focus on this aspect because they encourage the player mentality in men, where they tell men to keep a score and pick up one woman and then dump her. This creates a lot of frustration in women, if such a trend continues then eventually all women will lose trust in men and it will be even more difficult to get a woman. It's going to be worse. Internet and YouTube is full of such harmful advice where are taught to play games with women. This will never work out for any good because it pisses off women and they give up. It's a wrong idea to assume that girls like assholes. Instead of thinking the statement "girls like assholes" use the statement "girls get manipulated by assholes", that's a better way of understanding why girls are locked in relationships with assholes 

Hope you got a clear answer. 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I appreciate your reposnse but you did not understand my question fully. If a guy starts talking to a girl and she is rude, harsh, arrogant, bossy etc the guy will not like that at all. So why dont girls also get turned off by these asshole traits. I understand that only assholes approach girls BUT why do these girls sleep with them to begin with. If only homeless stinky people approached girls would girls sleep with them? Of course not they wouldnt. So why do they sleep with these assholes. I feel the reason is that they get attracted to that. Otherwise if these traits were purely negative then girls would have 0 desire to sleep with them if they demonstrated arrogance, assertivness, dominance, ruthlesness etc

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi because in the beginning the guys hide these traits and manipulate the girls into believing that they are good guys. The traits begin to appear once the girl accepts the relationship. But then it's too late and she has already slept with him. 

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Alright. So these assholes were kind caring honest confident funny and genouine in the beginning? If yes then i totally understand

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi yes. That's why I call it deception and manipulation. Because they hide their true nature in the beginning. 

This happened to me many times. One guy I dated was very kind, caring, honest and gentle in the first few weeks. I was very impressed. After sleeping with him for a few months, within 6 months his behavior began to change rapidly and he started to act very arrogant and rude. He started showing his true nature. 

These guys are aware that girls like kind funny loving guys. So they do the acting for a few months. Then they can't keep acting forever. Eventually their true nature begins to show but they at least got to sleep with the girl. It's very difficult to tell if a guy is truly loving or he is just acting. 

That's why girls start to use shit tests to know if the guy is genuine or simply acting. 

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_IndiaWell all the people i know that are kind and caring suck with girls though so i feel like there is a missing link here. Thank you for your replies though

Edited November 11, 2020 by Karmadhi

[AtmoShark]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India I read your arguments. My question is simple and you always avoid it. Why dont girls reject guys for being assertive, dominant, arrogant and ruthless. If girls dislike people that treat them badly then these attributes should be a NO NO since they make you an abusive piece of shit in relationships. Would really appreciate a response.

You can essentially ignore the response from @Preety_India as she has a fundamental lack of understanding of this subject.

Women do not reject men for having those traits because they are hard-wired to respond to them positively. Those traits are behavioral indicators of the man's fitness to help the woman survive and replicate in a very harsh environment that is not found in most modern societies (although society can easily regress back to that state very quickly). 

Although women respond to those traits, too much of some of those traits can also lead to rejection. Which is fair, because a man who is too assertive will not be able to navigate complex social structure. A man who is too dominant may alienate others from the group and elicit a coup/rebellion/get murdered. A man who is too arrogant will get ostracized from the group. Ruthless men will always run into another man who is more ruthless, as well as engage in behavior that will lead to being left out of the group or violently murdered.

As you can see, those behaviors you mentioned carried to extremes will lead to negative outcomes.

However, it is possible and an extremely good strategy to cultivate some of those characteristics in a manner that combines the best of what@Preety_India crudely describes as an "asshole", and combine them with the "nice guy" traits. As with everything, there is a balance that must be had. 

[Preety_India]

39 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_IndiaWell all the people i know that are kind and caring suck with girls though so i feel like there is a missing link here. Thank you for your replies though

That's because they don't put a lot of effort in approaching. So the women also give up. 

Now I don't want to say this but this applies to both gender.

If these guys you're talking about are kind and caring but boring then it's not gonna work. Because the human mind works on attraction, both male and female 

Will you like a woman who is the fattest woman in the world no matter how good she is? The answer is a plain no. Because attraction is necessary along with values.. 

So a woman also has a set of traits in her mind that she considers attractive In a guy. 

Most men find a beautiful woman attractive right? So also women have their own expectations of attraction from men. There is no unfairness here. 

Women like handsome, young, smart, talented, strongly built, funny, romantic, flirtatious men. 

So if the kind and caring men that you described above are lacking in the attraction qualities then sorry that's not gonna work. The woman won't like an ugly looking dude no matter how caring he is. She can't be blamed. The same goes for a man also. 

So dating is a combination of both attraction  qualities and values. 

 

[AtmoShark]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

The pua community has put this idea in your head that girls like only assholes. This is not true.

YOU put the idea in YOUR OWN HEAD that this is what the "PUA community", as you crudely describe it as, says. Modern day dating advice (which is what the "PUA community" turned into) does not say this at all, except in advertising copy in order to be able to communicate with the average person who is frustrated by the perceived notion that it's only "assholes" that attract women.

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

What is really happening is that only assholes have the confidence to approach women. They don't care about rejection, they have high confidence and they are not shy at all. So girls get approached by such men in a majority. Rarely does a good guy ever thinks about approaching a woman and even if he does he doesn't do it confidently, he is shy, he immediately gives up and doesn't pursue the girl further. The girl stands no chance because he disappears. Some guys don't even bother to approach out of fear of rejection. Now the asshole has no fear. So he keeps persuading the woman till she says yes to him.

Lovely heap of bullshit here. Apparently any man who has the confidence to approach a woman is an "asshole". So I suppose that all of our male ancestors are assholes now. I suppose walking up to a woman and introducing myself makes me an "asshole".

And now you appear to be sending the message that NOT approaching a woman makes you a "good guy". So now you're offering this absolute SHIT advice to an impressionable young man that it's BAD to approach, and GOOD to not approach. Do you understand that this shit advice is going to result in men developing a distorted view of dating? Do you realize that because of this, men will be shamed for approaching women, and women will therefore have difficulty meeting awesome guys because of this?

Also, do you realize that ALL men think about approaching women, but have fear of it because of people like yourself who would shame them for it? And then you wonder why "only assholes" do it?

Learning how to approach women is an extremely difficult and challenging thing for men. The constant rejection forces the guys to reflect in on themselves and determine what it was about them that got them rejected, and then fix it. It's the ultimate ego breaker. Soon he develops confidence and an awareness of what women respond to, and that makes him an... asshole?

There is no persuasion. There is just having the inadequacies of yourself being exposed until you fix them. It's almost like learning how to be successful with women can lead to a road of... self actualization.

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

But these girls, just like me, learn over time that these men are not good and they start to develop filters and barriers to keep such men away. Their experience teaches them to spot red flags in a man and they can easily tell which guy is an asshole based on their experiences. Then they learn to reject the asshole and eventually accept the good guy in life and marry him. But girls have to go through this learning process in order to finally understand which guy is a good guy.

A kernel of truth right here. What she fails to understand is that men reflect on their rejection and their "red flags" and mitigate them. 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

The pua community makes it look like a man has to be an asshole to get a girl and keep her. Actually thats very bad advice. If a guy did that, he will always keep losing the women in his life and never be happy. Every woman will leave him after seeing his behavior in the relationship. If he wants to keep his girlfriend then he needs to stop being an asshole and have a loving kind respectful relationship with the woman, only then she will stay with him forever. But pua does not focus on this aspect because they encourage the player mentality in men, where they tell men to keep a score and pick up one woman and then dump her. This creates a lot of frustration in women, if such a trend continues then eventually all women will lose trust in men and it will be even more difficult to get a woman. It's going to be worse. Internet and YouTube is full of such harmful advice where are taught to play games with women. This will never work out for any good because it pisses off women and they give up. It's a wrong idea to assume that girls like assholes. Instead of thinking the statement "girls like assholes" use the statement "girls get manipulated by assholes", that's a better way of understanding why girls are locked in relationships with assholes 

Hope you got a clear answer. 

Your PERCEPTION of the "PUA community" is that you need to be an "asshole". Tell me, how many dating success programs tailored exclusively for men have you completed in order to have formulated this opinion? I already know the answer to this question due to your absolute sheer ignorance of the topic, but others need to hear it from you. It's very clear that you have no idea what dating success programs actually teach, and once again, you are offering very impressionable young men advice that is harmful. Stay in your lane.

[Preety_India]

@AtmoShark maybe you should stay in your own lane and stop constantly objecting me. I was discussing with the other guy.. 

Whether you think that I'm right or wrong, just leave me alone and stick to your own opinions. 

[AtmoShark]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That's because they don't put a lot of effort in approaching. So the women also give up. 

Now I don't want to say this but this applies to both gender.

If these guys you're talking about are kind and caring but boring then it's not gonna work. Because the human mind works on attraction, both male and female 

Will you like a woman who is the fattest woman in the world no matter how good she is? The answer is a plain no. Because attraction is necessary along with values.. 

So a woman also has a set of traits in her mind that she considers attractive In a guy. 

Most men find a beautiful woman attractive right? So also women have their own expectations of attraction from men. There is no unfairness here. 

Women like handsome, young, smart, talented, strongly built, funny, romantic, flirtatious men. 

So if the kind and caring men that you described above are lacking in the attraction qualities then sorry that's not gonna work. The woman won't like an ugly looking dude no matter how caring he is. She can't be blamed. The same goes for a man also. 

So dating is a combination of both attraction  qualities and values. 

 

This is actually a solid response. 100% agree

Edited November 12, 2020 by AtmoShark

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I agree that women are hard wired to respond to those attributes i mentioned but when they are taken too far it is a problem