Game is not good for long term relationships (video)

[somegirl]

@Thestarguitarist14 I sense that you haven't had a very positive experience with the opposite gender.

[Thestarguitarist14]

Just now, somegirl said:

@Thestarguitarist14 I sense that you haven't had a very positive experience with the opposite gender.

Who has?

[F A B]

2 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Who has?

More than you think 

[somegirl]

@Thestarguitarist14 Sure, everyone has had bad experiences with opposite gender at some point in their lives, does that make them all the same? No...  It's just life. You come across such people, it's just bound to happen. But you shouldn't define the whole gender based on few cases and let it make you bitter. I mean... It "shouldn't", but it's your choice.

[Carl-Richard]

17 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Who has?

High CBS males. Your femoid attraction potential is directly proportional to the chad bone structure factor (CBS). I'm of course kidding.

[RendHeaven]

@Carl-Richard I love you lol

[Thestarguitarist14]

24 minutes ago, somegirl said:

@Thestarguitarist14 Sure, everyone has had bad experiences with opposite gender at some point in their lives, does that make them all the same? No...  It's just life. You come across such people, it's just bound to happen. But you shouldn't define the whole gender based on few cases and let it make you bitter. I mean... It "shouldn't", but it's your choice.

Human nature is human nature.

5 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

High CBS males. Your femoid attraction potential is directly proportional to the chad bone structure factor (CBS). I'm of course kidding.

LOL.  That’s it.  I need to become a Chad.

[AtmoShark]

On 11/1/2020 at 7:21 PM, Leo Gura said:

This is why the best advice for getting ridiculously good with girls is simply this: become more of a girl yourself.

That is the secret key. You must train yourself to be more emotional than the girl, yet still fully in control and grounded.

The James Bond stereotype is exactly wrong for pickup. Be more like a gay drama queen.

One minute you are laughing, the next minute you are angry, the next minute you are crying, the next minute you are romantic, the next minute you are dirty, the next minute are shouting vulgarities, the next minute you are giggling like a little girl. << this makes the girl mesmerized

You want to expand your emotional range a lot so that you are completely non-logical and unpredictable. Like a fox

Your typical guy is logical like Data from StarTrek. It's the worst possible thing for game.

Being like a "gay drama queen" is not a good model to emulate as a masculine man. If she wants another pussy, she will just make friends with another girl or gay guy.

What you just described is "dancing monkey syndrome". This behavior will certainly maintain her attention, but it will not elicit attraction. Not to mention that unpredictable behavior is not the deeply grounded masculine "rock" that naturally attracts women. I see so many men confuse attention from women as attraction from women, and this manifests in clown behavior like you just described, as well as things like blaring music from a car for attention, being obnoxious, driving loud vehicles,

While the "James Bond" stereotype is also garbage, there is a fine line that must be struck between having fun ("gay drama queen") and being grounded in a MASCULINE way ("James Bond").

You can certainly have fun and explore a wide variety of emotions, but again, it needs to come from a rooted masculine core. Gay drama queens come from a more feminine rooted core.

 

 

[Shin]

On 11/5/2020 at 3:22 PM, Preety_India said:

@Karmadhi  hmm lol. 

You could do what generally pleases women. What I saw in a lot of the plain nice guys that approached me was that they weren't sexual with me. I understand that there is a sexual harassment issue as well, some girls can misread signals so don't do anything sexual during the first meet. But once you are getting friendly with the woman, drop some hints that you are interested sexually also. Don't be too direct about sex like "I want to have sex with you" but rather indirect like "I'd want to kiss you, you're lovely" something romantic stimulates her emotionally. Don't ask too many questions. Always be on the watch out, in short I can say try to make her feel like a princess. 

I will give you a scenario to make you understand better. 

Women like being praised. One way of showing deep interest is to invite the woman to dinner at a restaurant. 

Then while eating dinner, make some jokes and smile at her, make good eye contact. Constantly look at the woman. Make her laugh. Make her feel special. Don't show nervousness. Flirt a lot with her. Don't look around because she will think that you are not interested. Never make a woman feel like you are not interested even for a minute. Women have a strong emotional system running through their body. If she feels like that you don't want her or like her even for a minute, she will feel like leaving. 

Asking her questions might make her feel like she is being judged. 

You have to show her love, affection and acceptance. Most importantly listen to her cues or signals carefully. If she wants something, don't hesitate or say no. For example if she says she wants to dance or sit on a ride, say yes immediately and do what she likes. Don't give her a chance to be upset 

If she doesn't like something, don't persist on it. For example if she doesn't like visiting a place, don't keep talking about it, she will get bored and see you as someone who is not trying to get along with her. 

You have to make it fun. Go shopping with her. Travel to different places. Ask what she likes. Be a good listener. Good eye contact. Dance. Girls love dancing with the guy who wants them. 

Make her sit on your lap.. Flirt. Hug her. Show affection. Long kisses. Cook with her. Sit with her in a park. Tell her interesting stories of your life. Walk with her on the beach. Develop an emotional connection with her. 

If she has any problems or worry assure her that you will take care of it. Show emotional commitment. 

Show interest in her family and in what she likes. 

All of that works, only if the guy is independant emotionally with a purpose.
The thing is, most guys who would accept to do all of that, consistently without exception, are nice guys.
So what would really happen, is that you'd get bored of him, cause he has nothing else that he puts before you in his life.

In contrast, a "bad boy", do what he pleases, and never care for you, not really, and will not do all of those things, not even 10% of it.
But still, you are extremely attracted to those guys, way more than the guy who would do all the things you mentioned.

What you really want is not what you said, that's what you like in a relationship, not what you're attracted to from a man.
Eventually, for a successful relationship you need both, which means a man who has both.

A man that is neither a nice guy or an asshole, and whose passionate by what he does genuinely and puts it before you.
In that case, the relationship can work, if you are a woman with a healthy psychology.

That's a lot of conditions, but this is why 95% of relationships don't work, and will never work.

 

[AtmoShark]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:22 AM, Preety_India said:

@Karmadhi  hmm lol. 

You could do what generally pleases women. What I saw in a lot of the plain nice guys that approached me was that they weren't sexual with me. I understand that there is a sexual harassment issue as well, some girls can misread signals so don't do anything sexual during the first meet. But once you are getting friendly with the woman, drop some hints that you are interested sexually also. Don't be too direct about sex like "I want to have sex with you" but rather indirect like "I'd want to kiss you, you're lovely" something romantic stimulates her emotionally. Don't ask too many questions. Always be on the watch out, in short I can say try to make her feel like a princess. 

I will give you a scenario to make you understand better. 

Women like being praised. One way of showing deep interest is to invite the woman to dinner at a restaurant. 

Then while eating dinner, make some jokes and smile at her, make good eye contact. Constantly look at the woman. Make her laugh. Make her feel special. Don't show nervousness. Flirt a lot with her. Don't look around because she will think that you are not interested. Never make a woman feel like you are not interested even for a minute. Women have a strong emotional system running through their body. If she feels like that you don't want her or like her even for a minute, she will feel like leaving. 

Asking her questions might make her feel like she is being judged. 

You have to show her love, affection and acceptance. Most importantly listen to her cues or signals carefully. If she wants something, don't hesitate or say no. For example if she says she wants to dance or sit on a ride, say yes immediately and do what she likes. Don't give her a chance to be upset 

If she doesn't like something, don't persist on it. For example if she doesn't like visiting a place, don't keep talking about it, she will get bored and see you as someone who is not trying to get along with her. 

You have to make it fun. Go shopping with her. Travel to different places. Ask what she likes. Be a good listener. Good eye contact. Dance. Girls love dancing with the guy who wants them. 

Make her sit on your lap.. Flirt. Hug her. Show affection. Long kisses. Cook with her. Sit with her in a park. Tell her interesting stories of your life. Walk with her on the beach. Develop an emotional connection with her. 

If she has any problems or worry assure her that you will take care of it. Show emotional commitment. 

Show interest in her family and in what she likes. 

Gentlemen, do not take advice from @Preety_India or any other woman about how to succeed with women, unless they are either dating coaches or have spent time actually understanding how to actually elicit attraction as a man, not how it theoretically is done. 

Same thing with women asking men for how to succeed with men; most men do not understand the dating game from a woman's point of view, and therefore will offer at best useless advice.

It is like an advertiser asking a general consumer about what they should do for their next advertisement; the consumer does not consciously know what they actually respond to, and will unintentionally mislead the advertiser.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

All of that works, only if the guy is independant emotionally with a purpose.
The thing is, most guys who would accept to do all of that, consistently without exception, are nice guys.
So what would really happen, is that you'd get bored of him, cause he has nothing else that he puts before you in his life.

In contrast, a "bad boy", do what he pleases, and never care for you, not really, and will not do all of those things, not even 10% of it.
But still, you are extremely attracted to those guys, way more than the guy who would do all the things you mentioned.

What you really want is not what you said, that's what you like in a relationship, not what you're attracted to from a man.
Eventually, for a successful relationship you need both, which means a man who has both.

A man that is neither a nice guy or an asshole, and whose passionate by what he does genuinely and puts it before you.
In that case, the relationship can work, if you are a woman with a healthy psychology.

That's a lot of conditions, but this is why 95% of relationships don't work, and will never work.

 

You're absolutely wrong. I've been through that phase where I was attracted to a bad boy. It is very temporary and men make a big deal out of it. A woman quickly grows out of it. Women can be a bit dreamy when they are young, it's just their lack of awareness. It's like the "boy phase" with men. Just like men grow into men from boys, girls grow into women and they immediately lose the attraction for bad boys. Only immature naive out of touch with reality women keep getting attracted to them 

More and more independent strong willed women choose honorable respectful and healthy men who know how to treat a woman. Every woman outgrows that girly girly romantic phase with a bad boy and every woman has a hurtful fuck boy story to tell.. 

Women who are interested to settle and in making families stop looking for bad boys and start looking for good boys. In fact they run miles away from a bad boy, because they have already experienced the drama of a bad boy and they don't want that to repeat 

And this whole misconception that I will get bored of a lovey dovey guy is also equally wrong. The women who get bored of lovers are not really the best women, they are whiny, they are never secure, they always want something more. Women who have a strong internal constitution don't get bored. In my fact my love for my man will grow stronger the more things he does for me.. Does this mean that I expect him to do nothing else? Absolutely not. I would be more than glad if he is happy with his work and ambition in life. But I should be important to him. And he needs to show that. 

Eastern women are different. They want respectful men and not assholes. Maybe in your culture women easily get bored and I don't know much about that. But I'm not like that. 

Most guys who complain about how the woman is getting bored of them have probably never been with a woman like me or any eastern girl..here the culture is different, the dating style is different, the guy needs to put the woman before everything or she walks away. Maybe in your culture women have a special place for bad boys. But most women around me are well raised and don't want bad boys at all. That's why most western men have a very faulty idea of how a man should be. They constantly encourage this bad boy asshole image which is actually frowned upon in our culture. Here the good guy gets the max girls. And girls get upset if they don't get a good guy, same for me. So in a nutshell, I'd be extremely happy if my man did all that I mentioned and if he did it everyday, it's more the merrier for me. I don't care about western psychology about dating, it's pretty toxic, that's why the high divorce rates. In my culture the divorce rate is too low and I never hear women in my community complain about being bored of their good guy boyfriends and husbands. Sorry but the western society has created a very toxic gender love romance dynamic. Totally screwed up. So no chance for good men. 

 

 

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, AtmoShark said:

Gentlemen, do not take advice from @Preety_India or any other woman about how to succeed with women, unless they are either dating coaches or have spent time actually understanding how to actually elicit attraction as a man, not how it theoretically is done. 

Same thing with women asking men for how to succeed with men; most men do not understand the dating game from a woman's point of view, and therefore will offer at best useless advice.

It is like an advertiser asking a general consumer about what they should do for their next advertisement; the consumer does not consciously know what they actually respond to, and will unintentionally mislead the advertiser.

This is dogmatic thinking. I could drop any other platitude like "in order to catch a prey, you must think like a prey" to support the opposite.

Also, you can't do advertising without having any knowledge of what the customer wants, and asking them is one way to do it. A lot of advertising is based on qualitative studies in consumer psychology that involves surveys and interviews with individual costumers as data collection methods (third-person observation is only one part). It's only after qualitative studies and subsequent modelling that you can establish a framework where you can start to gather quantitative data (which is more like your idea of PUA).

The point is that it doesn't hurt to know what the costumers think they want, infact it's often necessary. Of course there are self-deception mechanisms, but it doesn't negate all of the value of asking women for advice, because then it would also negate the value of asking anybody (unless you believe there is something particularily wrong with women).

Edited November 11, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[AtmoShark]

42 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

This is dogmatic thinking. I could drop any other platitude like "in order to catch a prey, you must think like a prey" to support the opposite.

Also, you can't do advertising without having any knowledge of what the customer wants, and asking them is one way to do it. A lot of advertising is based on qualitative studies in consumer psychology that involves surveys and interviews with individual costumers as data collection methods (observation is only one part). It's only after qualitative studies and subsequent modelling that you can establish a framework of costumer psychology where you can start to gather quantitative data (which is more like your idea of PUA).

The point is that it doesn't hurt to know what the costumer think they want, infact it's often necessary. Of course there are self-deception mechanisms, but it doesn't negate all of the value of asking women, because then it would negate all of the value of asking anybody.

I think you contributed some excellent nuance to what I am trying to say. One of the key things I'd like to emphasize is knowing the right questions to ask when operating from that framework of customer psychology and experience. Some questions are going to lead to frustration, and other questions that come from that framework are going to be able to have value extracted from them.

[AtmoShark]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Most guys who complain about how the woman is getting bored of them have probably never been with a woman like me or any eastern girl..here the culture is different, the dating style is different, the guy needs to put the woman before everything or she walks away. Maybe in your culture women have a special place for bad boys. But most women around me are well raised and don't want bad boys at all. That's why most western men have a very faulty idea of how a man should be. They constantly encourage this bad boy asshole image which is actually frowned upon in our culture. Here the good guy gets the max girls. And girls get upset if they don't get a good guy, same for me. So in a nutshell, I'd be extremely happy if my man did all that I mentioned and if he did it everyday, it's more the merrier for me. I don't care about western psychology about dating, it's pretty toxic, that's why the high divorce rates. In my culture the divorce rate is too low and I never hear women in my community complain about being bored of their good guy boyfriends and husbands. Sorry but the western society has created a very toxic gender love romance dynamic. Totally screwed up. So no chance for good men. 

 

 

I've read your posts and it seems like you really downplay the arranged marriages that occur in India that resembles cattle trade more than it does any kind of romantic experience.

The man is regulated to being essentially objectified as a means to enrich the family of the bride with material goods, and emphasis on the man is to be a people-pleaser in order to gain approval from the brides family.

Don't even think for a second that your "eastern dating culture" isn't toxic in its own manner. Tired of reading your self-righteous posts commenting on a dating culture that you consistently fail to offer actionable advice on.

[Carl-Richard]

31 minutes ago, AtmoShark said:

I think you contributed some excellent nuance to what I am trying to say. One of the key things I'd like to emphasize is knowing the right questions to ask when operating from that framework of customer psychology and experience. Some questions are going to lead to frustration, and other questions that come from that framework are going to be able to have value extracted from them.

My advice from me to you, man to man, would be to be aware of the underlying implications of dichotomization, separation, and distancing that happens while immersing yourself in PUA theory. The idea that only men are able to know how to get women does have a degrading aspect to it. You can say whatever you want about the truth value of that concept, but you cannot attract women without knowing what they want, and to assume that only a man can figure that out through rational methodology and cognitive inversions is almost narcissistic.

[AtmoShark]

9 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

My advice from me to you, man to man, would be to be aware of the underlying implications of dichotomization, separation, and distancing that happens while immersing yourself in PUA theory. The idea that only men are able to know how to get women does have a degrading aspect to it. You can say whatever you want about the truth value of that concept, but you cannot attract women without knowing what they want, and to assume that only a man can figure that out through rational methodology and cognitive inversions is almost narcissistic.

Re-read my first post, emphasis added:

2 hours ago, AtmoShark said:

Gentlemen, do not take advice from @Preety_India or any other woman about how to succeed with women, unless they are either dating coaches or have spent time actually understanding how to actually elicit attraction as a man, not how it theoretically is done. 

 

I'm having difficulty understanding how I agreed with your statement that added nuance and yet you continue to steamroll the conversation in a direction while putting words in my mouth. 

[Preety_India]

47 minutes ago, AtmoShark said:

I've read your posts and it seems like you really downplay the arranged marriages that occur in India that resembles cattle trade more than it does any kind of romantic experience.

The man is regulated to being essentially objectified as a means to enrich the family of the bride with material goods, and emphasis on the man is to be a people-pleaser in order to gain approval from the brides family.

Don't even think for a second that your "eastern dating culture" isn't toxic in its own manner. Tired of reading your self-righteous posts commenting on a dating culture that you consistently fail to offer actionable advice on.

You've only read my recent posts. I've criticized arranged marriages heavily in my past posts. The thing is arranged marriages have become progressively rarer in the new Generation. I don't think any of my friends even talk about it. So it's irrelevant to me. 

Btw you're so wrong about the arranged marriage concept. The man does not enrich the bride's family, in fact he makes them poor through dowry and that is the reason why most women were killed in our culture in the womb or after birth. You are so clueless about my culture 

Yes western dating style is toxic. Our dating style which has gradually evolved after the era of arranged marriages is not anything like it. There are so many marriages in my own family, they are not arranged marriages and they are so happy. I'm just stating differences, be calm. If I criticized a cultural pattern it's to point out the bad and not for you versus them mentality. 

 

[AtmoShark]

14 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You've only read my recent posts. I've criticized arranged marriages heavily in my past posts. The thing is arranged marriages have become progressively rarer in the new Generation. I don't think any of my friends even talk about it. So it's irrelevant to me. 

Btw you're so wrong about the arranged marriage concept. The man does not enrich the bride's family, in fact he makes them poor through dowry and that is the reason why most women were killed in our culture in the womb or after birth. You are so clueless about my culture 

Yes western dating style is toxic. Our dating style which has gradually evolved after the era of arranged marriages is not anything like it. There are so many marriages in my own family, they are not arranged marriages and they are so happy. I'm just stating differences, be calm. If I criticized a cultural pattern it's to point out the bad and not for you versus them mentality. 

 

That's great but you're still not helping the single men on here in the western dating culture progress to where they want to be in terms of success.

Toxic or not, there is a way to navigate the western dating culture. At best your advice is useless, at worst it is counterproductive. 

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, AtmoShark said:

Toxic or not, there is a way to navigate the western dating culture. At best your advice is useless, at worst it is counterproductive. 

Someone asked me my opinion on what I wanted in a man, I simply answered it. 

I'm not giving any advice to anyone, much less to western men. Please move on. 

[AtmoShark]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Someone asked me my opinion on what I wanted in a man, I simply answered it. 

I'm not giving any advice to anyone, much less to western men. Please move on. 

Excellent. Truly looking forward to you continuing that behavior. The last thing we need is more clueless men taking your "advice" and enabling ineffective behaviors that frustrates both men and women.