Please help. I'm a loser.

[Loss]

3 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

That's a cool subject. What kind of movies would you have liked to make?

Art-house, drama. Possibly horror and action. It would be amazing. But I have an experience in making a 2 minutes short and I failed it miserably. I think I gave up. And the perspective of pre production, planing everything and finding right people to make a project gives me a massive anxiety. And the whole networking in the industry also gives me anxiety. Is it laziness?

Edited October 30, 2020 by Loss

[Carl-Richard]

Try nofap. Not even kidding.

[Average Investor]

@Loss Sounds like perfectionism. It can be really though to break through. I have hit that wall quite a bit. I don't have specific fix advice for it, but it is out there. 

Just the fact you are here would indicate you are ready for change. I would start working on building good habits. I would specifically start with one really good habit though and get it locked down. Reading, meditation, exercise, or clean eating. All of them would be great, but if you can at least nail down one solidly the rest will start to come easier. I would recommend meditation or exercise the most. Exercise would help give you heavier near term gains in my opinion with mood, energy, and well being. Mediation is amazing though too, but takes some time to ramp up. 

[AdamDiC]

Hey man. Personally I think you need to develop a strong sense of vision and purpose in your life. You have to start doing some inner work and discover what you want to do with your life. The reason you have been dropping out of school and playing video games is because you feel lost and depressed. You need to ask yourself deep questions about who are are and what you want out of your life. If you can't find anything to be passionate about  you will automatically be attracted to pleasure and try to numb your pain.

Take this seriously. Why the fuck are you alive? What to do want to do, create, discover, experience? What can you master? Start thinking long term. What makes you excited? What can you work on for hours without getting tired? 

Start seeing yourself as someone who gets shit done. Someone who overcomes hardships and does the right thing. No more negative talk. 

Read the Way of The Superior Man by David Dieda and maybe check out Leo's Life Puropse Course.

Good Luck!

[Willie]

Well, everyone’s situation is different. I know a few people who live without jobs and stable income. But it can be pretty stifling. You made it this far, though! What made you realize a change needs to happen, @Loss ? And how urgent does that change need to be?

[Mu_]

11 hours ago, Loss said:

Hi guys.

I'm a loser and I am looking for help.

I wasted my 20s. Literally. I am 30 now and I don't know what to do. No education, no job/career, no money, no looks (recently realized I'm ugly). I tried college and uni, each time dropped out. At the college I tried twice the same course - dropped out. I don't know what career would suit me. IT etc. is boring for me, I hate the idea of working corporate jobs, I don't like being an employee and working for someone. All the jobs i do are low skill low pay jobs in hospitality. I change them very often. No relationship since high school.

 

I don't know where to start? I don't know what am I supposed to do? I only see chaos everywhere in my life. I think I'm a creative person, but I don't have motivation to do anything.  Last 7 years I basically spent playing video games. Majority of my day is spent watching youtube and playing video games.

I feel like I'm not a man any more....

Please help. I really want to leave this.

 

P.S. Sorry for my English tho, I'm non native but I live in the UK.

Whats a man?  Whats a waste?  Do you see how this is just a belief your having?  Give yourself some slack, dont rush to judgement, let be what is, even if you dont understand what that is.  Just let things happen, get out of the way if you feel your in the way, its not literally as it seems, its more free then you could nail down.

do you see the potential of that>?

And speaking of which, loser?  According to who?  Do you realize that this word loser is not of any meaning, its literally a series of supposed words that any person or society would interpret and speak about in their own way.  Its just blah blah blah, nothing, less or more then nothing, just .............  let go of that, feel the freedom from your own definitions and convictions that its this way.

[RendHeaven]

10 minutes ago, Mu_ said:

Whats a man?  Whats a waste?  Do you see how this is just a belief your having?  Give yourself some slack, dont rush to judgement, let be what is, even if you dont understand what that is.  Just let things happen, get out of the way if you feel your in the way, its not literally as it seems, its more free then you could nail down.

do you see the potential of that>?

And speaking of which, loser?  According to who?  Do you realize that this word loser is not of any meaning, its literally a series of supposed words that any person or society would interpret and speak about in their own way.  Its just blah blah blah, nothing, less or more then nothing, just .............  let go of that, feel the freedom from your own definitions and convictions that its this way.

@Mu_ Everything you say resonates with me personally, but I'm not sure that any of it is practical for someone who is actively in a rut and considers themselves a failure.

It's hard to take in these questions of "do you see/realize?" when you're feeling so low. The whole point of feeling down is that you DON'T see or realize how your rut is self-made. To you, your circumstances are real.

If you could simply "snap out of it" or just "let go," global depression would be cured overnight lol

In my (admittedly limited) experience, you have to take action and claw your way out of the rut, and only then do you realize in hindsight, "Oh wow, that was all a projection of my mind!"

Edited October 30, 2020 by RendHeaven

[Origins]

Preface: for this kind of situation

@Loss Find 1 thing.

Only concentrate on that 1 thing and make the necessary sacrifices you have to make in order to master that one thing.

Your life will change forever.

Your attention will improve (among many other executive functions of the brain), your whole brain, psychology and life style will improve. I don't care if that thing is a religion, a sport, becoming a buddhist, becoming a nazi, learning an instrument, investment, learning about stocks and shares, learning poker, learning chess, playing and mastering a video game as systematically as possible from the highest depth possible, researching and learning from all of Alex Jones ideas as systematically as possible, studying the ins and outs of Lord of The Rings and how you can apply it to life.

The thing doesn't matter in the big picture, and on the small picture you'll change your life forever. 

All things being equal, it's not what we do, it's how we do it.  

One more conspiracy theorist isn't going to matter, and if you're a really good one anyhow at least you'll learn how to relay your ideas to others as intelligently as you possibly can. 

Don't get stuck in the status quo (i.e. what others perceive about your one thing), get stuck on your one thing that'll change your life forever. 

There's at least one demographic that hates most people in each of those categories, you'll never make the whole world happy so at a minimum make your own conscience happy with your commitment.

Make your choice.

Forget the belief in "the one and only life purpose" its an illusion that'll lead you to wasting another 10 years. 

Focus instead on the how in relation to life more than the what's (i.e. illusory life purpose, indoctrination, belief biases, etc --- although if that's your one thing and is going to be the thing that transforms your life sure why not) of life.

[DreamScape]

do what you want. you only have one life. thoughts are weak, conscious thought and action always has more power over them. you can do this. get up and create the life you want. ❤

[Origins]

@LossIf you like the life purpose course by Gura might be the very thing you need at this time, just to get your attention focused on that 1 thing.

Again, if you take that path my advice is don't make it into a big deal, rather just make a deal with yourself that you're going to stick with it through the high's and low's and at the sacrifice of other things.

But at the same time, acting like a suicide bomber or a high school shooter when it comes to your life purpose has real measurable positive effects when it comes to achieving the results you want in life. 

So its a paradox, there's this absoluteness to it and then there's this complete non-attachment, but if you imagine that dynamic as a mixing of shades of black and white there's a unique geometry to it that you don't want to mess too much with, its easy to miss it, but once you understand it and recognise it for what it is, you can use that kind of powerful force in your endeavour basically like no other

[How to be wise]

@Loss Go to Leo’s booklist, and start reading NOW! Those books will save your life. Plenty of different topics, so pick what interests you, and fill in your knowledge gap. After that, take action.

[DreamScape]

Its obvious that putting your full self and creative expression in the world is fundamental for happiness. do it man. all the spirituality stuff you read on here should tell you to follow yourself no matter what, because everything else is just distraction. 

[PurpleTree]

9 hours ago, Loss said:

Art-house, drama. Possibly horror and action. It would be amazing. But I have an experience in making a 2 minutes short and I failed it miserably. I think I gave up. And the perspective of pre production, planing everything and finding right people to make a project gives me a massive anxiety. And the whole networking in the industry also gives me anxiety. Is it laziness?

Cool. I think (not totally sure) James Cameron, the guy with the most successful movies ever didn't go to film school but taught himself with books etc.

But yea filming a movie isn't really a project which you can do on your own, aside from docs maybe. You need great people and tell them what they need to do. That could be very anxiety inducing in the beginning. Probably more blocked by anxiety than laziness, but not sure.

[Mu_]

9 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

@Mu_ Everything you say resonates with me personally, but I'm not sure that any of it is practical for someone who is actively in a rut and considers themselves a failure.

It's hard to take in these questions of "do you see/realize?" when you're feeling so low. The whole point of feeling down is that you DON'T see or realize how your rut is self-made. To you, your circumstances are real.

If you could simply "snap out of it" or just "let go," global depression would be cured overnight lol

In my (admittedly limited) experience, you have to take action and claw your way out of the rut, and only then do you realize in hindsight, "Oh wow, that was all a projection of my mind!"

Sure, I agree that it may take some clawing, lots of it, but the message may just click for some or maybe open up a new way of thinking, or maybe not.  Just putting it out there.  When your down so to say, sometimes a kick in the pants from life gets you out, sometimes a kind word, sometimes a medication, sometimes a beer, sometimes a word of advice you didn't know you needed until it came your way.  Just because you had your way of getting through a similar sounding situation, doesn't mean its the way for everyone, but its good you put your words out there, he's now got two experiences and messages to reflect on.

[Origins]

Short Story Time
( Hope you enjoy @Loss! )

You wakeup for the first time inside a lab, eyes feeling the piercing of the bright light above your head you rub your eyes with your hands and while doing so feel a slight pain in your right arm. 

During inspection you discover what is to you a plastic configuration with a thin thread that seems to be lodged inside your forearm; its a cannula, but the thought only presents to you as "cannn". Looking around the room you see closed hospital blinds around your bed and at the end of said bed a sign that reads "Subject #234", suddenly a male doctor gently opens the curtain. 

"Hello, ahh you're awake, right on time." says the doctor

You don't remember the doctor's name but you notice he's wearing a tag that you can barely read "Dr. David Shaw".

"D...D...A..." you're trying to make sense of the greatest thing in your reality you understand least but is making its presence made strongest

"Jonathan just take your time. This is going to take a while. Listen I have some music that I'd like you to listen to in order to help you remember some of your memories. Will Frank Sinatra New York, New York do?"

"M-m-m... Mu... Music." you say now slowly getting beyond mere murmurs

"You got it! We're going to make sure you enjoy today!"

You're learning to talk, read and learn for the first time in your waking state. 

Little do you know though that you're the first successful participant of a cloning program that they're disguising as you being in a coma for 10 years in order for it to make sense in your reality relative to what the mainstream public can handle because cloning isn't accepted in society. 

You think the experiment is over, when in reality, even though you've got your suitcase ready to go and family you've been convinced is your own that'll now help you recover to return to your previous life, the experiment has only just begun. 
 

Two potential lessons of the story:

• We're all in the middle of narratives in our life, most of us don't realise though that this present moment presents us with a fresh state, at all times, the narrative we push forward doesn't have to be the past, the narrative of the future we've planted in our mind, doesn't need to exist. Just because someone says you like Frank Sinatra, doesn't mean Frank Sinatra is your taste let alone something you've even experienced, this is what society does. It pushes down narratives into our brains before we even get to decide as to whether the narrative is a good or bad one to be living our lives on. The clone here has only experienced existence for the first time and its being convinced that Frank Sinatra was an important part of its former life prior to its fake coma, just like they did with religion to us, presidential elections and various other kinds of cultural movements. They imprinted onto us that this is just how it has to be in society and therefore us.
   
• Live life as if you've never lived it before, with that freshness but put something definite in mind. Have a certain experiment you'd like to run in your life that you'll call your life project that you're going to have an awesome time exploring the limits of. The canvas is yours to paint on.
   
• Other potential lessons are for you to imagine

Edited October 30, 2020 by Origins

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, Mu_ said:

Sure, I agree that it may take some clawing, lots of it, but the message may just click for some or maybe open up a new way of thinking, or maybe not.  Just putting it out there.  When your down so to say, sometimes a kick in the pants from life gets you out, sometimes a kind word, sometimes a medication, sometimes a beer, sometimes a word of advice you didn't know you needed until it came your way.  Just because you had your way of getting through a similar sounding situation, doesn't mean its the way for everyone, but its good you put your words out there, he's now got two experiences and messages to reflect on.

This is wise  Thanks for your imput~

[Loss]

15 hours ago, Willie said:

Well, everyone’s situation is different. I know a few people who live without jobs and stable income. But it can be pretty stifling. You made it this far, though! What made you realize a change needs to happen, @Loss ? And how urgent does that change need to be?

Well, I remember how 10 years ago I imagined my life. Job, adventurer's, living a life, passion, women. Literally nothing working out for me. After I dropped last year from the College (second time same course), I literally stayed in bed for next 8 months. I became even more fat. I started doing something in June this year. And now, man, from time to time it's hitting me hard. Like a panic, that I missed out so much, that I look like shit. I feel like I'm disabled psychologically. I feel like I don't have the basics. I need the change to be very urgent.

[Loss]

3 hours ago, Origins said:

Short Story Time
( Hope you enjoy @Loss! )

You wakeup for the first time inside a lab, eyes feeling the piercing of the bright light above your head you rub your eyes with your hands and while doing so feel a slight pain in your right arm. 

During inspection you discover what is to you a plastic configuration with a thin thread that seems to be lodged inside your forearm; its a cannula, but the thought only presents to you as "cannn". Looking around the room you see closed hospital blinds around your bed and at the end of said bed a sign that reads "Subject #234", suddenly a male doctor gently opens the curtain. 

"Hello, ahh you're awake, right on time." says the doctor

You don't remember the doctor's name but you notice he's wearing a tag that you can barely read "Dr. David Shaw".

"D...D...A..." you're trying to make sense of the greatest thing in your reality you understand least but is making its presence made strongest

"Jonathan just take your time. This is going to take a while. Listen I have some music that I'd like you to listen to in order to help you remember some of your memories. Will Frank Sinatra New York, New York do?"

"M-m-m... Mu... Music." you say now slowly getting beyond mere murmurs

"You got it! We're going to make sure you enjoy today!"

You're learning to talk, read and learn for the first time in your waking state. 

Little do you know though that you're the first successful participant of a cloning program that they're disguising as you being in a coma for 10 years in order for it to make sense in your reality relative to what the mainstream public can handle because cloning isn't accepted in society. 

You think the experiment is over, when in reality, even though you've got your suitcase ready to go and family you've been convinced is your own that'll now help you recover to return to your previous life, the experiment has only just begun. 
 

Two potential lessons of the story:

• We're all in the middle of narratives in our life, most of us don't realise though that this present moment presents us with a fresh state, at all times, the narrative we push forward doesn't have to be the past, the narrative of the future we've planted in our mind, doesn't need to exist. Just because someone says you like Frank Sinatra, doesn't mean Frank Sinatra is your taste let alone something you've even experienced, this is what society does. It pushes down narratives into our brains before we even get to decide as to whether the narrative is a good or bad one to be living our lives on. The clone here has only experienced existence for the first time and its being convinced that Frank Sinatra was an important part of its former life prior to its fake coma, just like they did with religion to us, presidential elections and various other kinds of cultural movements. They imprinted onto us that this is just how it has to be in society and therefore us.
   
• Live life as if you've never lived it before, with that freshness but put something definite in mind. Have a certain experiment you'd like to run in your life that you'll call your life project that you're going to have an awesome time exploring the limits of. The canvas is yours to paint on.
   
• Other potential lessons are for you to imagine

14 hours ago, Mu_ said:

 

Love it.

Edited October 30, 2020 by Loss

[Loss]

Well, thank you very much people, I really appreciate your input. Please feel free to write more ideas and anything you have in your mind. Here is what I'm gonna do in next 3-4 months.

- I'll get a job and save some money, although I think I'll stay with my family. I will feel safe knowing that I'm saving money.

- I will start eating better and exercise. I might pay for personal trainer.

- I will learn the video editing, and probably I will develop my short film ideas. I was thinking about being a freelance video editor.

- I will start reading Leo's books and I will start his course after my first pay day.

 

I came to conclusion that the most crucial thing to change as soon as possible is my looks. My physical well being. I believe it will be much easier for me to work on myself, my emotions and fears while being in a good shape.

[Willie]

5 hours ago, Loss said:

Well, I remember how 10 years ago I imagined my life. Job, adventurer's, living a life, passion, women. Literally nothing working out for me. After I dropped last year from the College (second time same course), I literally stayed in bed for next 8 months. I became even more fat. I started doing something in June this year. And now, man, from time to time it's hitting me hard. Like a panic, that I missed out so much, that I look like shit. I feel like I'm disabled psychologically. I feel like I don't have the basics. I need the change to be very urgent.

Quickest thing you can do is apply at restaurants and grocery stores. The stereotypical bullshit jobs that kids get in high school that “build character” because there’s no enjoyment in the daily toil. They’re always looking to hire. If you’re living with your folks, you can still save up money on that low wage. For your health, look only for places in comfortable walking/biking distance and never drive to or from work. Also avoid the food at any restaurant you apply to unless it’s menu is specifically designed to be healthy.

 

If you can afford to be patient, don’t apply to those jobs. Aim higher.