Please help. I'm a loser.

[Loss]

Hi guys.

I'm a loser and I am looking for help.

I wasted my 20s. Literally. I am 30 now and I don't know what to do. No education, no job/career, no money, no looks (recently realized I'm ugly). I tried college and uni, each time dropped out. At the college I tried twice the same course - dropped out. I don't know what career would suit me. IT etc. is boring for me, I hate the idea of working corporate jobs, I don't like being an employee and working for someone. All the jobs i do are low skill low pay jobs in hospitality. I change them very often. No relationship since high school.

 

I don't know where to start? I don't know what am I supposed to do? I only see chaos everywhere in my life. I think I'm a creative person, but I don't have motivation to do anything.  Last 7 years I basically spent playing video games. Majority of my day is spent watching youtube and playing video games.

I feel like I'm not a man any more....

Please help. I really want to leave this.

 

P.S. Sorry for my English tho, I'm non native but I live in the UK.

[PurpleTree]

Did you ever check if you have ADD/ADHD ?

[Hello from Russia]

What ranks did you get in these games?

[Rinne]

Smh you guys arent helpful

[RendHeaven]

In a different thread, user @Michael569 wrote the following (incredible) advice:

Start going for the quick wins: 

1. Treat your body well: optimize your nutrition. Stop eating crap, sugar, fatty meals and junk. Avoid fizzy drinks, bacons, cookies and all that stuff. Base your diet on whole foods, vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains and legumes. If you need any advice, consider buying a Mediterranean cookbook and a vegan cookbook and try a bunch of recipes. Take a D-vitamin (2000IU/day)  magnesium (300mg magnesium citrate) and a B-complex (whatever you find) for 3 months. These may help you get some energy back. 

2. Start each day with cold shower for 30 seconds, followed by making nourishing breakfast (e.g. oatmeal with bunch of nuts, seeds & berries_ and eating them while having your eyes exposed to daylight. Sit on the balcony or eat outside. Human retina when exposed to sunlight sends a signal through your whole brain to the pineal and other areas. This stimulates your mood, makes you more energized and happier. if there is some sunshine, take your shirt of and let the sun kiss your skin, maybe your vitamin D is low and that will fuck up your mood. 

3. Sign up with a gym or just exercise outside. Buy a skipping rope and 1 kettlebell, learn bunch of easy moves and do them 4 times a week. This will stimulate your mood as well. Exercise creates bunch of chemical reactions that lead to progressive mood enhancement. If you can't muster the energy to exercise, walk every day for 60 minutes and time it. While you do that listen to some online comedy or an uplifting book. Something fun & positive. 

4. Do not stay up late. Force yourself to go to bed at 9pm the latest even if it means lying there for another hour. Your body will adjust. Normal sleeping routine is necessary for mood enhancement. 

5 Read & study. Find something you like. Take the LP course if you have to and find your calling. Start taking small steps every day to become the person you were meant to be. Following your life purpose ignites an invisible spark inside of you. I know this because I have seen it in my life. It has given me confidence in every area of my life (my looks are average as well).

I'll add my 2 cents as well, since I am currently going through a self-discovery process myself:

1. Save your damn money and only spend on things that move you forward. For example, healthy foods, gym equipment, Leo's LP course. Do not spend on video games, trashy restaurant meals, alcohol, or even books. 80% of the time you can find a free-pdf version of a book on google. Just search the name of the book along with "pdf."

2. You need to know what deeply moves you and gets you excited to penetrate life. Again, save up for Leo's LP course. As a man, almost nothing else will fulfil you until you nail this down.

3. Literally uninstall your games right now, on the spot. I'm not kidding. I know you still have 1 last piece of gear to grind out before your armor set is complete, but that shit DOESN'T MATTER. One of 2 things will happen: You'll complete your armor set, feel hollow, and look for the next in-game achievement OR You'll leave this part of your life behind and grab life by the fucking balls.

If you need help with more specifics such as "I don't know what kind of food is healthy" or "I don't know which books to read," keep asking questions

Edited October 29, 2020 by RendHeaven

[PurpleTree]

5 minutes ago, Rinne said:

Smh you guys arent helpful

why?

[Bando]

@Loss Were do you want to improve the most? Or a better question would be, what can you fix that would solve 80% of your problems? Narrowing this down is important that way people can help you better and not give such general advice that may not apply to you.

[Loss]

20 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

Did you ever check if you have ADD/ADHD ?

No, never. I will explore the subject

[Loss]

6 minutes ago, Bando said:

@Loss Were do you want to improve the most? Or a better question would be, what can you fix that would solve 80% of your problems? Narrowing this down is important that way people can help you better and not give such general advice that may not apply to you.

I think I want to improve the most is health (looks) and career. I would love to get a degree, be educated. I've 'studied' degrees like History or Architecture. Dropped out from all of them in first year. At the college i was doing film. Dropped out twice.

[Michael569]

Start by getting a source of income. It is difficult to make any decisions without money. You can't expect high-paid jobs without chipping in and either getting education or becoming very creative with your time. Get a basic job to start working on your morale & work ethics.

In UK there are plenty of large chains that are always looking for people: Go to something like Pret-A-Magner, Starbucks, Subway, Sainsbury's, Tesco...whatever. Get a job and get an income. 

Getting a job will help you build up a work ethic. You will meet people which will improve your social skills. Having a sense of duty & obligation will raise your morale. Companies like Pret will probs pay you around 18-22£ K/year which is a good starting point. 

For now, forget about college and get your finances in order. 

[Strangeloop]

I may be projecting here, but all I see is "do this - do that". I guess that's what you asked for...

My advice would be taking small steps. Like I don't know. Asking yourself on paper, what you want in life. It can be on computer. If you can't find the answer on what you want. Google it. Google is great for finding answers, pick something that draws your attention. Maybe you read something online and you feel this nervousness inside you. Pick that. This nervousness might lead to something good. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

Check out the books, six pillars of self esteem and you can heal your life.  Their audiobooks are on YouTube.  Psycho cybernetics is great as well.  

[Loss]

5 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

I may be projecting here, but all I see is "do this - do that". I guess that's what you asked for...

My advice would be taking small steps. Like I don't know. Asking yourself on paper, what you want in life. It can be on computer. If you can't find the answer on what you want. Google it. Google is great for finding answers, pick something that draws your attention. Maybe you read something online and you feel this nervousness inside you. Pick that. This nervousness might lead to something good. 

Well, I would loooooooove to paint, but I don't have a skills and It won't give me money. I thought I'm into filmmaking, but I failed college twice and since then I didn't even touch the subject.

[PurpleTree]

2 hours ago, Loss said:

Well, I would loooooooove to paint, but I don't have a skills and It won't give me money. I thought I'm into filmmaking, but I failed college twice and since then I didn't even touch the subject.

That's a cool subject. What kind of movies would you have liked to make?

[Byun Sean]

Watch this

 

[Michal__]

Build up to 1hr meditation per day (you must do it fast, in a few weeks) then do a 10 day meditation retreat.

Stop masturbating.

You will soon get to a place where you are able to think straight & work hard. Also check the message I'll send you. And do that while building the meditation habit.

[Applegarden]

3 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

In a different thread, user @Michael569 wrote the following (incredible) advice:

Start going for the quick wins: 

1. Treat your body well: optimize your nutrition. Stop eating crap, sugar, fatty meals and junk. Avoid fizzy drinks, bacons, cookies and all that stuff. Base your diet on whole foods, vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains and legumes. If you need any advice, consider buying a Mediterranean cookbook and a vegan cookbook and try a bunch of recipes. Take a D-vitamin (2000IU/day)  magnesium (300mg magnesium citrate) and a B-complex (whatever you find) for 3 months. These may help you get some energy back. 

2. Start each day with cold shower for 30 seconds, followed by making nourishing breakfast (e.g. oatmeal with bunch of nuts, seeds & berries_ and eating them while having your eyes exposed to daylight. Sit on the balcony or eat outside. Human retina when exposed to sunlight sends a signal through your whole brain to the pineal and other areas. This stimulates your mood, makes you more energized and happier. if there is some sunshine, take your shirt of and let the sun kiss your skin, maybe your vitamin D is low and that will fuck up your mood. 

3. Sign up with a gym or just exercise outside. Buy a skipping rope and 1 kettlebell, learn bunch of easy moves and do them 4 times a week. This will stimulate your mood as well. Exercise creates bunch of chemical reactions that lead to progressive mood enhancement. If you can't muster the energy to exercise, walk every day for 60 minutes and time it. While you do that listen to some online comedy or an uplifting book. Something fun & positive. 

4. Do not stay up late. Force yourself to go to bed at 9pm the latest even if it means lying there for another hour. Your body will adjust. Normal sleeping routine is necessary for mood enhancement. 

5 Read & study. Find something you like. Take the LP course if you have to and find your calling. Start taking small steps every day to become the person you were meant to be. Following your life purpose ignites an invisible spark inside of you. I know this because I have seen it in my life. It has given me confidence in every area of my life (my looks are average as well).

I'll add my 2 cents as well, since I am currently going through a self-discovery process myself:

1. Save your damn money and only spend on things that move you forward. For example, healthy foods, gym equipment, Leo's LP course. Do not spend on video games, trashy restaurant meals, alcohol, or even books. 80% of the time you can find a free-pdf version of a book on google. Just search the name of the book along with "pdf."

2. You need to know what deeply moves you and gets you excited to penetrate life. Again, save up for Leo's LP course. As a man, almost nothing else will fulfil you until you nail this down.

3. Literally uninstall your games right now, on the spot. I'm not kidding. I know you still have 1 last piece of gear to grind out before your armor set is complete, but that shit DOESN'T MATTER. One of 2 things will happen: You'll complete your armor set, feel hollow, and look for the next in-game achievement OR You'll leave this part of your life behind and grab life by the fucking balls.

If you need help with more specifics such as "I don't know what kind of food is healthy" or "I don't know which books to read," keep asking questions

I disagree with the 9 pm thing since you don't need 8 hours of sleep, rest is fine.

[Applegarden]

By the way, you are not a loser, because you have not given up and are seeking for advice.

[AtheisticNonduality]

Do pushups, meditate, socialize, read books, join communities, blah blah blah.

[PurpleTree]

1 minute ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

join communities

not gangs, cults and and religious or far right extremists though