Spiral Insights

[Rilles]

The universe is a vast beautiful miracle?

[Gesundheit]

Really enjoying your insights! Please keep them coming.

[Rilles]

15 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

Really enjoying your insights! Please keep them coming.

Glad you like 'em!

[Rilles]

I gotta rethink my life purpose. I like music but I'm so addicted to learning about different topics, I dont know how to put all this knowledge into music. Perhaps I can make podcasts with music in the background, or documentaries. There seems to be some options available, gonna keep thinking about this. Just music doesnt cut it anymore, I feel like I have more potential. 

[Rilles]

I feel like contemplation might be a more direct route to insight rather than listening to a 10 hour audiobook, maybe I should create a habit. 

[Rilles]

Scientism ignores chaos, randomness, non-linearity, paradox, counter-intuitiveness, unpredictability and then calls the universe mechanistic.

 

[Rilles]

Laid down for 5 minutes just to feel my body. Focused on my forearms. Holy shit! I cant believe I'm ignoring my body all day long. My arms feel so good! Ectasy! Who needs drugs! Gonna try this exercise for my entire body. Consciousness is amazing!

[Rilles]

My goal for 2021 is to learn body scanning and get back into my body.

+Learning to breathe properly.

 

[Rilles]

The green parts is basically what I'm conscious of right now with no practice. Pretty numb... Will compare this picture in a year and see the difference. 

[Rilles]

5x 15 minute body-scans everyday for 1 year. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

Whats with the bliss?! If I focus on my thighs hardcore for 10 minutes I feel blissful!! So weird! Love it!

Edited December 11, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

I want to stop using ableist language.

Words like "Retard, dumb, stupid, lame"

...but also saying things like "Thats so gay".

Language is something you can be mindful of. How can I use "gay" as an insult mindlessly when I have a gay brother, it makes no sense. I will be working on how I use language in the future. 

[Rilles]

18 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

@Rilles I used to get really triggered by the word retard, as someone with hfa, but now I use it liberally as the word no longer effects me.  Could go either way.  Depends on what your relationship to certain words is.

Shouldnt you stop using it knowing it triggered you in the past? What about others? 

Of course, this whole deal is about being mindful of how language is used, just shining a light on my daily usage is what I want to do, I wont beat myself up for not living up the some standard. Just... be aware. 

[Rilles]

Cravings are high bodily tension. Next time you feel a craving for something, lay down (if possible) and feel into your body until the craving subsides, and the body relaxes.

Edited December 24, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

Three developmental stages of beliefs.

I. Blind belief. Gets aggravated when questioned. Very tense. Close-minded.

II. Blind belief in non-belief. Gets aggravated when questioned. Tense. More open-minded.

III. Entertaining all ideas but not believing. Doesnt get aggravated. Relaxed. Open-minded about open-mindedness.

 

Living from I and II is very emotionally taxing when you get questioned. Living from III is emotionally taxing because you realize you dont know much at all, so many possibilities, you have to be a chameleon, looking through different perspectives. Questioning yourself.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

Blue and Orange use the body. Green and Yellow become the body through being aware of it/being it. Emotions are felt and explored.

Blue cuts off the body spiritually because it is the seat of the passions and sin. The lower realms. Dissociating.

Orange opens up to pleasure and hedonism but still lives 99% intellectually, through the head, in ideas. Feelings are felt during pain or pleasure but not for feelings sake itself. Sports are done but not fully felt. 

Green starts to live in the body. Feeling emotions that are more subtle, using intution, doing psychedelics and/or Yoga.

Yellow is where you potentially/hopefully become fully in your body, integrating feeling and thinking completely. Head to toe. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

Goals for 2021.

1.Getting back into my body.

2.Giving more love. Giving more hugs. Expressing more joy towards all people. Especially towards my brothers, less rigidity, less fear, more of a dance, natural rhythm, grace. Opening up in my movements. 

3.Creating more free-flowing and dynamic music, I'm tired of the same old verse/chorus structure, less loops, longer melodies. Ash Koosha and Iglooghost are great examples. 

4.Go skydiving.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

2020 goals achieved. 

Went to therapy, solved atleast 50% of my social anxiety, saw through so many of my limiting beliefs. Still working on it, life-long mission. Crying in bed for 20 minutes after a session was a highlight. I want to thank the two people who helped me with therapy. Love you! 

Integrated alot more Green values, learned about Anarchism, Socialism, Feminism, Sociology, went to a Reiki session which blew my mind where a psychic basically read my mind. Probably my favourite moment of 2020 and another favourite was when I... 

...microdosed some San Pedro a few times which was amazing, became super mindful and joyful, will keep doing work with cactus 2021/22 and try to get a solid threshold trip.

Honorable mention: Starting jogging alot, probably about 20 sessions, which is really unusual for me, should keep doing that. Get in shape. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Rilles

[Rilles]

Directional Thinking vs Binary Thinking

 

Binary Thinking:

This is how it is.

Only one way is right.

There is no gray.

I have the answers.

Static.

 

Directional Thinking:

"Its not. So. Simple."

4 words to keep in mind at all times.

Its gray. Many perspectives.

The answers are always changing.

Dynamic.

[Rilles]

Ingrained sexism.

Who taught you that strength is a masculine trait?

Can women be strong?

Yes

But then they are not themselves, they are "borrowing" from the masculine energy.

Can we allow people to have these traits without putting gender ideas onto them?

Can a woman be strong without "tapping into her masculinity".

Can a man be weak without "tapping into his feminine side".

Edited January 6, 2021 by Rilles