Help!!!! The Enlightenment Insights Has Become Very Deep

[sgn]

6 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

It can't terrify "you" because there's not really a "you". At least not a separated "you".

Right

[abrakamowse]

http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/let-everything-happen-to-you

"Rilke’s statement, “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” is very apropos, but it might suggest to some people being overwhelmed by feelings. Allowing yourself to be overwhelmed is not what Rilke is suggesting, though, since he also advises us to “just keep going.” When we’re lost in our feelings we become passive and so we give up on the “going.” The feeling becomes the only thing we can know or see. When we “just keep going” we’re aware that we’re going through a process that will naturally end. The more we resist our feelings, the longer the process will take. The more we can accept them and have compassion for them, the more quickly they’ll pass."

[sgn]

I think I'm not ready for this path now. It's so much more than I ever imagined it would be. For me I've only experienced the "bad".
Did not realize before I started this path that it's not just the sense of "my" self, the person, the identity hat disappears. What I feel is me. But also everyone else. So fucked up that it really is NO ONE around. Those that have really seen this and not just understand it intellectually, how much does it affect you? I thought I had felt loneliness before, until I experienced this.

 

[peterjames]

Regarding loneliness: this can be a common pitfall. 

 

If I were you, I would make sure to read up on some good litterature on nonduality, to make sure I don't fall into the common pifalls: nihilism etc.

 

Here is a link that addresses the problem of utter loneliness:

https://books.google.no/books?id=DBpDDQAAQBAJ&pg=PT131&lpg=PT131&dq=solipsism+and+the+question+of+others+after+awareness&source=bl&ots=2yln5gPsMf&sig=MhOJ2Iao0F6HRKMonpO8Gddpw70&hl=no&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjCqIzd1u7PAhXLCCwKHd7RD_AQ6AEIJjAB#v=onepage&q=solipsism%20and%20the%20question%20of%20others%20after%20awareness&f=false

[Bob84]

@Happiness See your ego for what it is. A tool to navigate this world (depending on definition of ego). See it, use it, just dont be it. Be what you know you are and see your mind as a tool for you to use. Be brutally honest with yourself and let go.

[Xpansion]

Don't buy into the fearful story going on in your head about it all. Be mindful of the thoughts. It's just more concepts. You dont need to figure it all out or make sense of it but this is what your mind will try to do. It's just more distraction.  

Thinking of people as machines is not very wise. We are psycho/biological organisms capable of great love and compassion.  Buddha never said there is no self.   He said there is nothing you can point to that is a permanent solid self.   It's all just a continuous process which creates the illusion of an entity or thingness.   

Your experience here in this life is still very real and visceral.  Some people fall into the trap of thinking that meditation is about becoming a detached, depersonalised blank with no thoughts and no emotions and that nothing is real. Almost like sociopaths.     Mindfulness and meditation is meant to enrich your life. Help you feel things more deeply and to begin to recognise how much you cause yourself suffering. From this place you can feel more compassionate towards others who are also causing themselves suffering.

Just allow yourself to feel what you feel. Be gentle and kind with yourself and others and don't rush.  Don't try to force things.   

Ps - break up your posts with paragraphs so it's easier for people to read

Edited October 22, 2016 by Xpansion

[abrakamowse]

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/MCTB+5.+Dissolution,+Entrance+to+the+Dark+Night

[sgn]

@peterjames @Bob84 @Xpansion @abrakamowse  Thanks. 

I haven't given up, lol. Even thou I've getting my ass kicked with this like HELL a couple of times now.
And sometimes back off and thinking I'm gonna give it up. But I keep coming back. To obsessed.
I did very intense self inquiry for a couple of weeks and then I got a very uncomfortable pressure in my skull for days.
Was there constant from the moment I woke up to when I went to bed.
I did some reading and thought that maybe I was hit by kundalini syndrome and thought it wasn't going to go away.
Anyway I backed off, and a few days after it faded.

For the last month or so I have focused more on the practice of being aware of awareness and have deepened that more and more and now it becomes more effortless.

Thanks again for the answers. 

[Stoica Doru]

On 09.11.2016 at 8:52 PM, sgn said:

@peterjames @Bob84 @Xpansion @abrakamowse  Thanks. 

I haven't given up, lol. Even thou I've getting my ass kicked with this like HELL a couple of times now.
And sometimes back off and thinking I'm gonna give it up. But I keep coming back. To obsessed.
I did very intense self inquiry for a couple of weeks and then I got a very uncomfortable pressure in my skull for days.
Was there constant from the moment I woke up to when I went to bed.
I did some reading and thought that maybe I was hit by kundalini syndrome and thought it wasn't going to go away.
Anyway I backed off, and a few days after it faded.

For the last month or so I have focused more on the practice of being aware of awareness and have deepened that more and more and now it becomes more effortless.

Thanks again for the answers. 

I'm going through the exact same process. How's it going now? 

[sgn]

@Stoica Doru I don't do any self inquiry now. It led me to activate the kundalini. I have some common kundalini symptoms that comes and go. That feels enough for now. Some days are good, some are worse. Overall quite OK.
But had a very very bad day 2 weeks ago. So this leads me to feel uncertainty. Don't know how it will unfold in the future. That scares me. Just doing some personal development now to prepare myself more if shit hit's the fan (lol).
Try to resolve things from the past, practice gratitude etc.
Trying to do some meditation. But the kundalini gets more noticeable and distractive.
Like I said just trying to work on resolving shit in my psyche and some meditation to feel more natural joy.
Because I realized almost everything that gives me joy now is conceptual.

Take care =)

[Neo]

@sgn, is the seeing NO-ONE thing still on going or something you can phase in and out. Are you regretting going past the point where that happened?  thanks

Edited December 17, 2016 by Neo

[sgn]

@Neo It's not still going on and not something I phase in and out. When I first made this thread I thought that this is how it's going to be now.
But it faded. That day it was really bad. When identities started to vanish it was heart breaking for me. I realized how much I had built up around them.
And it felt very lonely. I also realized that I was much more needy than I thought.
Needy of approval, of love, of help etc. This led to a lot of self-pity and feelings of being helpless. Left all alone. I'm sure this isn't going to be as big for everyone that it was for me.
I've struggled with pretty severe social anxiety and low self-esteem etc for most of my life.
I realized I was more fucked up than I thought, lol.
Backed of a while after this then got back into self inquiry for some reason.
That's where the kundalini thing started to happen.
It doesn't messes with my psychology much, it's more the body and emotions.
Yes I regret it now. Because I'm afraid of what the kundalini thing may do in the future, and how ready I am for it. The things in the present is not that bad.
I realize I should develop myself more and deal with all my shit before pursuing truth.
Like I said this is just how it's been for me.

[Neo]

I see it's interesting. I'm contrasting your points there with those that say there is a point you cross where you simply CANNOT unsee it. I'm guessing that is the point, maybe, of seeing non-duality completely. I could be wrong. I have some of the same concerns as you even though I haven't made so much head way. Hope it all works out ok as I'm sure it will.