Are Relationships Required For Enlightenment?

[MarcusJ]

Question:    Are relationships required for the per-suite of enlightenment?  

 

As I have started to walk the path my answer comes to:  No!   Yes, relationships can be a fire for self discovery but is not a requirement!   Life and being human is just a conduit of the one universal consciousness.    When the ego is dismantled or set aside then consciousness shines through and the wonder of it all is revealed.   Yes... a journey without a relationship is a longer path... but my point is that its not required.  I can only recall one Guru who was in a relationship, Echart Tolle.  All the others I have seen were journeying the path as a single being in enlightenment, a counter part seemed un-needed to the  seeker of enlightenment.

Your comments and perspective my fellow bothers and sisters of the same single universal consciousness?

Edited August 30, 2016 by MarcusJ

[Flo]

A "normal" or a "bad" relationship is a pain in the ass in order to get enlightenment, since you'll likely have dramas most of the time.

A good relationship will suck some of your time which you could use to get enlightenment faster, but you'll have nice sex + a shoulder to cry on + someone who will push/remind you to do the shit you have to do.

It all depends of what you want the most, if you really want a good relationship if can be a positive thing, but you don't need it, at all.

Maybe it's the most important thing to get a girlfriend now for some people, because they never had one. It is very important to fill all your needs  and deal with all the traumas you had in your life BEFORE doing hardcore enlightenment stuff, otherwise they'll bit you on the ass later.

I wouldn't want to be with someone if I was single, but now that I have a really nice, open-minded and non-needy girlfriend, I don't see any valid reason to ditch her, It will slow down the process a bit, yes, but I'm not in a hurry (and you shouldn't if you "pursue" enlightnenment).

 

[Tom213]

A concept I learned from someone has given me a new perspective on relationships. Our minds think, constantly. It's the brain's job to keep the "meat vehicle" working and reasonably safe from harm so we can experience life. We cannot unplug it...to do so unplugs you and then you're dead. You can unplug from it by realizing that you are not your thoughts, you're just the observer of them. If you think of your mind as a fire hose that is turned on and flailing around, it's easy to guess what happens if you attach to it. It will slam you into the walls. So the same principle must apply if you attach to someone who is attached to their "fire hose". If this is true, then you must first make sure that you are not flailing around attached to your own mind and then use your intuition pertaining to whether or not the possible significant other is attached to theirs. Using this analogy, it's easy to recognize when one or both parties are playing the part of the wacky waving arm flailing inflatable tube man.

Edited September 12, 2016 by Tom213
Spelling error

[Flowzo]

Short answer like you said is NO. Relationships can be good for personality development because you will have another mind to correct and observe your behaviors (assuming both parties are commited to growth), but ultimately nothing at all is necessary for enlightenment. That sense of growth you get is from working toward some imagined ideal of what an enlightened person should look like but who is the one growing? There is no journey to go on. You are already there in each and every moment. 

[Kevin Dunlop]

I was pondering a similar point yesterday and it has to do with the alone or together situation. Alone I can learn alot but I will never know if what I learn applies to only me or if it also applies to others. But when we learn in a group we can bounce our ideas off others and find out if there are universal things that help everyone. We dont know much about this second option anymore since we dont live in groups anymore. But the Buddists who do enlightenment work do live in groups and use a social network. Sex however I have heard is not part of that. I have heard that relationships are the best place to find out about yourself. I do appreciate relationships because they keep me involved in society, here I learn new things from people like you, and I learn about people where I wouldnt have done any of that without ladies pulling me out of the bush

 

[aurum]

Of course they're not required for Enlightenment. There is no hard and fast rules or requirements in this game.

That being said, let's not be naive enough to assume that a relationship automatically puts you farther away from enlightenment either. If God is waking up in you, it can use anything. Universal intelligence is incredible.

[Shaun]

I sometimes feel that I am using enlightenment work as a coping mechanism for my sexual ineptitude. I feel that starting this work has made me even less of a match to the women around me. I've never been in a relationship before, or had sex but to be honest, I would rather be enlightened than be in a relationship.

[Raquel]

There is a lot of gurus and spiritual teachers married or in relationships.

You don't choose this or search or avoid... You happen to find a match or you don't. 

Through my "awakening" I came to see that love becomes so different.. and pure that you dont have need of a romantic love.

As you become this state you are open to a truth conection without wrong intentions and  that will only work with others that can "see" the same. Then magic happens and everything flows, is always easy and is just awesome.

If it feels like this for you and both share the same preferences in life, working towards the truth, then will be blissful.

Of course you are also challenge not to get too dependant, too emotionally attached, too comfortable, too picky, judgemtal, etc etc which is a great way to do a constant "enlightenment test"..Unless you want to leave alone pretending not to be human and not being upset by the world outside ?