How can I stop masturbating

[tatsumaru]

Hello,
I am interested in stopping porn and masturbation for good. The problem is when I don't masturbate the urge to have sex becomes so strong that I can't think straight, I can't work on my business, I can't concentrate all I feel is I want to have sex. If I don't masturbate it gets stronger and stronger. The longest I've gone without masturbation is around 18 days and it was hell. I don't believe in NOFAP through willpower. I have heard that Taoists and Yogis have ways to deal with their sexual desires and that is what I am interested in. I believe semen has potential and that simply wasting it in the trash bin is a form of ignorance that I want to correct. In fact even watching porn in my opinion is a waste of time. I don't currently have a girlfriend so I would like to switch off the need for sex while I am not in a relationship and turn it on back again when there is a possibility for procreation. I know there are people who've done NOFAP for a very long time, but I also know that this is a whole identity for them and they are exercising willpower all the time to maintain this record so for me this is not a fulfilling way of life. Are there any solutions to this?

[Rilles]

Try to learn about the dark sides of the porn-industry. 

[Guest SirVladimir]

Every time an urge to masturbate crosses your mind, do 2 minutes of shamanic breathing instead. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

Next time you masturbate, observe the woman.  Repeat the part of her body that you are focusing on like “hair, hair, hair.”  Or “ass, ass, ass.”  When you do this, you will see what you are doing for what it is.  You won’t even become hard.  You will see that you have to be unconscious to jerk off.  
 

Also, don’t beat yourself up.  The reason that you still do it is because you feel shame.  So you keep doing it because subconsciously you desire to feel better.  But you feel worse.  See how it’s a viscous cycle?  
 

So, if you can see it for what it is, love and accept yourself as ell as wipe out the shame, you’ll naturally begin to steer away from it.  One day at a time.

[Bogdan]

Not you average dopamine detox guru, this guy is really worth a listen.;)

 

 

[ajai]

1 hour ago, SirVladimir said:

do 2 minutes of shamanic breathing instead.

Haha!! my man got shamanic breathing as one stop solution for everything, part of the reason being "You've excelled it".

[Guest SirVladimir]

7 minutes ago, ajai said:

Haha!! my man got shamanic breathing as one stop solution for everything

 gotta crank up that discipline!

[AminB501]

@SirVladimir are 2 minutes of shamanic breathing too strong? I heard shamanic breathing is very strong and I always been afraid of trying it.

[Michal__]

Regular sex, tantra and masturbating a bit less often.

Not having any form of release is unhealthy too, unless you learn tantra. 

Pressing the perineum before ejaculation is one thing worth learning.

Just do some research about tantra and apply it to your sex life.

No need to be overly strict about it.

[Guest SirVladimir]

8 minutes ago, AminB501 said:

@SirVladimir are 2 minutes of shamanic breathing too strong? I heard shamanic breathing is very strong and I always been afraid of trying it.

Pretty strong if done properly & if it affects you as me, which most likely it won't. I wrote a thread if you need help with the technique and setting.

Edited October 28, 2020 by SirVladimir

[Vision]

This video might help: 

 

[tatsumaru]

Sorry for late reply.
Just wanted to clarify - I masturbate not so much because I am addicted to porn but because if I don't my libido becomes stronger and stronger to a point where it's so distracting that I become a complete mess. I don't mind masturbating every now and then and possibly not to porn, but I'd like to decrease the frequency significantly. For example from 2x/day to 2x/week or something. How can I deal with the excess libido? And please don't tell me to do pushups.

[SgtPepper]

You have to 'transmute' the energy elsewhere and also begin to enjoy being horny without compulsively choosing to masturbate your seed away. Someways to transmute it is working out, stretching, and breathing to bring the energy from your pelvis to your whole body.

So that's how to do it experientially.

 

Then you have to become a principled character that identifies with strong values. If you do, you will be able to overcome any feeling or mood because you will have bigger purpose. So contemplate on that and write out your values, higher purpose, and reasoning behind the choices you make. That's an identity component.

 

Lastly, do not victimize yourself in your head. re-frame all behaviors and attitudes as a choice that you make. Practice noticing you have a response-ability to all stimulus in your life. That's the mental component. 

Edited January 20, 2021 by SgtPepper

[roopepa]

On 28.10.2020 at 6:54 PM, tatsumaru said:

I have heard that Taoists and Yogis have ways to deal with their sexual desires and that is what I am interested in. I believe semen has potential and that simply wasting it in the trash bin is a form of ignorance that I want to correct. In fact even watching porn in my opinion is a waste of time.

So you enjoy masturbating but you have adopted this belief that it is somehow bad for you so you want to stop. Or is there some other reasons too?

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, sexual desire or pleasure my friend. If you really enjoy it, and it does not harm you in your direct experience, why on earth would you stop doing it?

If you seek some refreshment, or you are getting bored, perhaps you could try some new ways to masturbate - be playful, add some flavour. Perhaps you could ditch porn and start using your own imagination. Play with some toys or spend an entire day masturbating by the wildest ways you come up with.

Edited January 21, 2021 by roopepa

[Chew211]

Look into Brahmachariya.

[Javfly33]

Stop identify with the problem of masturbating/no masturbating

[Michal__]

On 10/28/2020 at 8:07 PM, Bogdan said:

Not you average dopamine detox guru, this guy is really worth a listen.;)

 

 

Lol, finally someone has good taste when it comes to YouTube.

[peanutspathtotruth]

On 1/20/2021 at 11:46 PM, SgtPepper said:

begin to enjoy being horny without compulsively choosing to masturbate your seed away. 

All the other advice is great as well, but this one is the most important in my opinion. Learning to sit with horniness - there might be shame and guilt beneath that or any other form of emotion that makes you impulsive. Sit with that, ask yourself why you can't just NOT masturbate. What is the facet of the feeling that you want to "release", why can't you just let it flow over you. It's not easy at all, but it works  

[Preety_India]

@dflores321 hey I like that profile pic. It changes colors. 

[StarStruck]

This is what helped me:

Connect what you are doing right now, to your future self. What future self do you want? Write your (sub)-goals down, and make prioritizations in the now according to your (sub)-goals.  The key is that your sub-goal shouldn't be to distant in the future, otherwise you simply won't have the motivation.

Edited January 22, 2021 by StarStruck