Shadow Work - The Things We Hide From Ourselves

[Emerald]

Here is a good exercise for anyone who is interested in Shadow Work.

We can often tell what's in our Shadow (which is unconscious to us) by looking at our judgments.If we judge something harshly we are unlikely to recognize that which we judge in ourselves. 

So, think about qualities and types of that annoy you about other people that you'd hate to have associated with you. 

For example, if you're really annoyed by hippies, ask yourself what positive traits that most hippies have that you have pushed away in yourself because of this annoyance. If hippies annoy you because you've known some hypocritical hippies, you may have thrown out the baby with the bath water and suppressed the more positive traits too like creativity, peacefulness, and non-conventionality. 

Write what you've selectively judged away from yourself and dis-identified with and why. And think about how your personality would be if you allowed those traits back into your personality in their positive expression.

 

[Shin]

Another exercice is to imagine what you fear, but without judging and staying with the emotion of fear only.

It can be super uncomfortable though so be prepared.

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, Shin said:

Another exercice is to imagine what you fear, but without judging and staying with the emotion of fear only.

It can be super uncomfortable though so be prepared.

That's a good one too. We definitely don't want to look at what we fear.

[Gesundheit]

Thanks for sharing but...

13 hours ago, Emerald said:

For example, if you're really annoyed by hippies.

LMAO how did you know?!

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's a good one too. We definitely don't want to look at what we fear.

For example, a year ago I had all kinds of justification as to why open relationship is not for me.

I sat and imagined exactly that.

Still not sure what is genuine to me, but at least I don't fear it in my mind anymore (in real life that might change a lot though ?).

[RedLine]

13 hours ago, Emerald said:

if you're really annoyed by hippies, ask yourself what positive traits that most hippies 

 

I think it is the opposite way. You have to think what negative traits (those that annoy you) hippies have and accept those negative treats in you.

For example if you hate coward people you need have to integrate cowardy: you are a coward and there is nothing wrong with that.

Edited October 28, 2020 by RedLine

[Emerald]

Just now, Shin said:

For example, a year ago I had all kinds of justification as to why open relationship is not for me.

I sat and imagined exactly that.

Still not sure what is genuine to me, but at least I don't fear it in my mind anymore (in real life that might change a lot though ?).

When looking for Shadow, the main thing to look for is aversion to identification with open relationships and people who are in open relationships.

So, it may be the case that open relationships are not for you or vice versa. But in terms of Shadow Work, you'll want to see if there are any assumptions and judgments about people who engage in that life-style or about the life-style in general. And this can reveal some Shadows.

For example, someone might judge people who are in open relationships because of what they assume are the sexual habits of people who are in open-relationships. So, this may not necessarily hint that open relationships are right for the judger. But it may hint that the judger is dealing with sexual repression of some kind that is then being projected onto others.

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, RedLine said:

I think it is the opposite way. You have to think what negative traits (those that annoy you) hippies have and accept those negative treats in you.

For example if you hate coward people you need have to integrate cowardy: you are a coward and there is nothing wrong with that.

Yes, this is part of it. 

[Gesundheit]

It's worth mentioning that shadow work leaves out a greater shadow of self-hatred afterwards, so it's important stay mindful of that.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

It's worth mentioning that shadow work leaves out a greater shadow of self-hatred afterwards, so it's important stay mindful of that.

Yes, the aspects of the self that are being judged away will feel hated by the conscious personality. When we split an aspect of ourselves off from our personality and repress it, that part of ourselves feels hated. 

[Gesundheit]

40 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Yes, the aspects of the self that are being judged away will feel hated by the conscious personality. When we split an aspect of ourselves off from our personality and repress it, that part of ourselves feels hated. 

Yes but not only that. There's hatred of aspects or parts of the self, and there's hatred of the self as a whole. The latter is the real driver behind the wheel, and it is the enabler of the hatred of aspets/parts. The whole concept of shadow work is based upon the belief that lack of awareness is problematic, without acknowledgement of the positive consequences that come from being unaware. That, and the belief that high awareness is an all-positive thing and a completely ideal model of being with no negatives whatsoever. The desire to change oneself is seen as a good thing while it actually isn't.

Edited October 28, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Moksha]

I don't believe it's even possible to change yourself. Telling yourself that you can change yourself is another ego trap. We are what happens to us.

This thread is happening to you right now. Maybe you will change because of it.

[mandyjw]

Yes! Can also manifest as attraction to people. Any strong emotional reaction really. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Preety_India

Quote

[Having a shadow] Can also manifest as attraction to people. Any strong emotional reaction really.

Perhaps look here if you like. Strong judgement against the people working as cuddlers can be a reaction to a shadow part. Maybe this could illuminate something for you. Or not. Could also be a projection from my part

[Loving Radiance]

@Emerald Just earlier I realized: In Star Wars Anakin Skywalker gets consumed by his shadow and turns to the dark side as the way of the Jedi represses emotion. Expressing and embracing them would've healed him, but there was no love shown to him in order to imbody that.

[Preety_India]

22 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

@Preety_India

Perhaps look here if you like. Strong judgement against the people working as cuddlers can be a reaction to a shadow part. Maybe this could illuminate something for you. Or not. Could also be a projection from my part

If I don't wish to be hugged by a stranger, then it's a preference. It has nothing to do with a shadow. Indeed a projection! 

 

[Emerald]

56 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

@Emerald Just earlier I realized: In Star Wars Anakin Skywalker gets consumed by his shadow and turns to the dark side as the way of the Jedi represses emotion. Expressing and embracing them would've healed him, but there was no love shown to him in order to imbody that.

That makes perfect sense. The Jedi were quite repressive... especially with fear. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Preety_India  Ok, my assumption came up as your response was promptly and with force at that thread. I gotta look more into that for sure. Thanks!

@Emerald Is being centred & grounded in yourself a foundation to embrace any arising emotion? If yes, do you see anything else?

Edited October 28, 2020 by Loving Radiance

[Akemrelax]

@Emerald Do you have advice on focus or concentration work? I really suck at that. 

[Emerald]

On 10/28/2020 at 4:58 PM, Loving Radiance said:

@Preety_India  Ok, my assumption came up as your response was promptly and with force at that thread. I gotta look more into that for sure. Thanks!

@Emerald Is being centred & grounded in yourself a foundation to embrace any arising emotion? If yes, do you see anything else?

It's more about being grounded in the empirical reality of emotions. Emotions arise as sensations in the body. Awareness on that level of the emotions helps you ground yourself in the empirical perception as opposed to getting swept away in the content of the mind.