Blocked by money?

[everythingisnothing]

Hey,

as I started being paid for my service as a meditation coach I see that it blocks my ability to express fluently. Especially when I coach people for free I see how liberating it is to not have the thought of someone paying me in the back of my mind.

As I reflected on this I feel like someone who pays me also pays a lot of attention to what I do and expects high professionality from me. Of course, this is just a thought in my mind and I expect this from myself (whatever high professionality means, will contemplate that), but it blocks my ability to express creatively to a certain degree. 

What are ways to feel the same level of freedom as with working with clients who do not pay?

[Lyubov]

I kinda understand and can relate to what you are saying. I used to feel this way about my art and if I'm paid for it it doesn't feel as genuine. Also felt the same when I was doing freelance work. I used to feel self conscious of it and insecure about my services. I think it comes down to a relationship with money and a lot of the insecurities and fears around it. I think taking money not as seriously and giving it less weight on an emotional level. Simply letting go technique worked well for me when it comes to this. Money comes and goes and I am far from mastering it but it carries all sorts of beliefs that when it's mixed in with other stuff it can seep over. I haven't fully figured this out myself but I would say a lot of it comes down to self esteem. 

[everythingisnothing]

@Lyubov This would be my first guess too, I‘m trying to take the pressure out by using the money I currently make to reinvest, letting it flow so to say. So the person who pays me actually helps others because I use the money to advertise my service and help others. 

[Yarco]

Think of the payment as a donation, rather than something mandatory.

This can be a purely mental exercise. Imagine that you're offering the service for free, and people only choose to pay if they're happy with the results. In reality that's usually true, because someone could always refuse to pay if they feel like it wasn't worth it.

Or you can restructure your business to make it reality. Offer your services and then write "Suggested Donation:" instead of just a flat-out price. This helps out people with more of a "pay what you can afford" approach. So a student or someone might only give you $10. But you'll also get people who pay MORE than the suggested price. Maybe throw in a little incentive where if they donate a specific amount, they get some bonus. Like a link to an unlisted guided meditation video on Youtube or something.

Also probably worth exploring why you don't feel like you're good enough or professional enough to justify getting paid for the service that you offer. Imposter syndrome is a bitch.

Edited October 26, 2020 by Yarco

[Nahm]

I’m a client who comes to you for help with bringing meditation into my life because I tend to ruminate about money and what other people think. How can meditation help me with this?  (And I don’t care how professional you are, I care about if meditation helps this suffering or not). 

 

 

[aurum]

5 hours ago, everythingisnothing said:

Hey,

as I started being paid for my service as a meditation coach I see that it blocks my ability to express fluently. Especially when I coach people for free I see how liberating it is to not have the thought of someone paying me in the back of my mind.

As I reflected on this I feel like someone who pays me also pays a lot of attention to what I do and expects high professionality from me. Of course, this is just a thought in my mind and I expect this from myself (whatever high professionality means, will contemplate that), but it blocks my ability to express creatively to a certain degree. 

What are ways to feel the same level of freedom as with working with clients who do not pay?

I had this too when I was coaching people. Totally get it.

You may want to consider a sliding pay scale or "pay-what-you-want" model. In other words, let your clients decide how much your service is worth to them. If they want to pay you zero, then it's zero. If they want to pay you a million, it's a million.

I found this way of doing things can take some of that pressure off of "now I have to DO something" instead of just following your intuition and treating your client like a human. But you'd have to experiment. It's obviously less guaranteed money and you don't want to tank your business.

[mandyjw]

There's something really satisfying about working for free, especially when you first start doing something that you're really inspired to do, so doing it is a reward in itself. It's true whatever you give out comes back to you. But people do truly want to pay you and give back to you too. 

Often money is the just the way that it makes the most sense to pay someone back, and it makes your clients feel better and know what to expect when they know what your time cost is upfront. They will be less likely to focus and feel worthy of your advice if they think they are taking advantage of you. I think when you first start out it's good to work for free or for little until you really hone your skills. Then you'll be confident setting a price for your time, and the money you get paid should serve the work you do on a greater whole. If you work for too little or for free you'll need to dedicate your time to something else instead. Having the right fee for a service, where you and your client feel happy with the exchange is absolute magic, and the work you do will flourish and serve the world as a whole beyond just coach and client. 

Art, caregiving and spiritual guidance is all in the category of "stuff society doesn't value much" in our minds, because our society is currently imbalanced in this way. Should this change? I think it changes both by us starting to value it and pay more for it, and both in us making it available for free more. I really like the idea of offering both free content and having paid services. Basically that's what Leo does here. Money is a tool. It doesn't serve anyone to disregard the value in using a tool, nor does it serve anyone to value the tool itself over its actual purpose.