Sex toys

[Heaven]

I want to level up my sexual skills. 
I’ve been doing some Kegel exercises and watched Leo’s great video about the topic but there was more focus on the foreplay and he didn’t mention any sex toys.

What do u guys think? The women in the crowd, your opinion will be highly appreciated?

 

[Preety_India]

Lots of foreplay. And kisses lol. Be slow the first time, don't be nervous. Think of it as a pleasant experience and not like a job or duty. 

Don't pressure yourself to perform right. It's about enjoying the other person's company and being happy, don't focus on the mechanics or get too obsessed with every little thing you are doing. 

One thing that my ex used to do during sex was constantly pestering me by asking "am I doing this right?" "are you happy?".. He kept asking me so much that whatever romantic mood had built up within me, it all just crashed and I got fed up with his Insecurity and constant nagging. I was happy, I just wanted him to not pester me with questions when I'm in the mood. It kills the mood. 

So my advice is that even if you don't feel alright, don't let the other person feel like everything is bad, keep the show going on, have a bit of confidence and positivity, don't upset the other person already, keep going with the flow, don't control it too much or else the other person loses interest quickly. 

Be playful and cheerful in bed, not nervous and obsessed or worried. 

 

 

[Breakingthewall]

Skills are for sports, for sex only be natural, let your energy flow. You need the right partner and let the situation flow. Skills are for porn actors and his value is zero. When I found a girl that in sex starts like: I'm going to show you how i do sex...I got absolutely cold. A kiss of 5 seconds with real passion is thousands times better than the best skills

[RendHeaven]

Fearless. Loving. <These are critical. Develop them by any means possible. Notice that your entire life contributes to your fear and love levels.

Anything else is pretty trivial

Absolutely do not make a habit out of porn.

Once in a month or so is fine, but you need to learn to connect with your body without shiny screen-pixels hypnotizing you.

Find a way to make masturbation (by which I mean edging; ejaculation is optional) feel magical again.

[aurum]

5 hours ago, Heaven said:

he didn’t mention any sex toys.

They've never been my thing. I'm sure they work but it's a very physical approach to upping your sex life. 

Instead, I think you'd be better off thinking about sex in terms of emotion and energy.

Best thing I've found you can do is just breathe, relax and be free and be present. Let the bodies do what they know how to do. You're not in control.

[Hugo Oliveira]

First, regarding level up your "skills", I think that you have to balance a lot with what feels natural for you, for the girl, and for the moment. A golden rule for me is not wanting to be performative like a porn actor and instead, do things with patience, being present, and having fun.

About the toys, I have some experience with vibrators like "magic wand" and it is probably the most functional toy you'll find out there. Haha, I like it a lot and some girls go fucking crazy. But again, you have to be balanced, honest, and to know how and when to use it (not rocket science). DM if you need! 

 

[Natasha]

@Heaven Sex toys sound like a distraction to me. We are energetic beings with god-given senses, stay present and learn to use those, and you won't need anything else other than each other. 

[AtmoShark]

A lot of pretentious, nonsensical nebulous answers here for someone asking for practical advice. I seriously wonder if some of you can simply respond with the actual time if someone asks you for it without you going into some esoteric rant about "there is no time, there is only the present, you [insert shoehorned Spiral Dynamics color here]".

Whatever you're into, simply bring it up with your partner and see what overlaps you have. In my experience I've found it good to start vanilla, and then suss out what she's into. What I've done before is just whip out the toys or whatever without a lead up to it, and that ended up alarming the girl.

[Willie]

15 hours ago, AtmoShark said:

A lot of pretentious, nonsensical nebulous answers here for someone asking for practical advice. I seriously wonder if some of you can simply respond with the actual time if someone asks you for it without you going into some esoteric rant about "there is no time, there is only the present, you [insert shoehorned Spiral Dynamics color here]".

Whatever you're into, simply bring it up with your partner and see what overlaps you have. In my experience I've found it good to start vanilla, and then suss out what she's into. What I've done before is just whip out the toys or whatever without a lead up to it, and that ended up alarming the girl.

Yeah, some answers can be like that. Just a matter of perspective.

As for the OP, Kegel exercises and self-exploration are good things! Just be present and patient with your body, there’s no rush. If you feel pain, stop. Notice what you were doing before you felt the pain and avoid doing that the same way again. Know your limits. The limits to what objects or actions you use is determined by you alone. It’s different for different people.

Also, don’t do anything you aren’t willing to clean up after. Because really, ew. Some things are only beautiful in the moment.