Hi, my name is okulele and I am an insightoholic

[okulele]

It all started years ago when I first encountered Leo Gura and his teachings on contemplation. I was hooked from the start. I never knew how this was to turn out. I started contemplating and was really not skillful enough to do it well, however, as I followed Leo and discovered Peter Ralston, I firmly decided that I would create a life of constant contemplation and mad insights. As the years went by, I got better and better, my concentration and mind-penetration abilities becoming sharper and sharper. How wonderful! - I though. As I dreamed, mad insights appeared, superb experiences, and above all (without me reaaaaly realizing it) a state  of great focus of the mind, that I became hooked on. Literally hooked. The last few months, I became so good, that each day when I woke up, a profound question or phrase would come into my mind and I would allow it to drill down, down, down into myself, coming to the bottom, and then over again. Such joy! Finally, the mind is stable! What I didn't realize was, that this is still thought. Even though I am blissed out on the focused mind, I am basically missing Being. 

Of course, my intention here isn't to demonize contemplation, Leo, spiritual practice or anything else. All these are so helpful. But shit! I questioned everything! Everything, but the questioning itself. Shit! And it turns out, this questioning is an almost constant activity I am engaged in, which very effectively keeps me from Being.

That being said, I wish you Being.