Dating/Socializing & Lockdown times thread. How to make the best of this.

[ertopolice]

Good evening to all actualizers..

Due to the global situation we are facing but also because of the importance of this issue to many of us I would like to open this thread.  

Hard times for those of us who previously got it difficult in this area of life

Coments about how you are dealing with it, tips on new ways of dating or relating or how to stop obsessing over these "pause" in social interactions will be very welcome.

Stay safe!

 

 

 

 

Edited October 25, 2020 by ertopolice

[Thestarguitarist14]

It’s terrible.

 

I live in L.A where most people don’t walk around to get to places, bars and clubs are closed outside of the few that have outdoor capabilities (those tend to not be the ones where you go to meet women) and online dating feels as though it’s gotten worse.

What I am doing now is joining spiritual and nature meetups.  I am going on a camping trip in a few weeks and will be joining a meditation group.  That’s the only viable option.

[everythingisnothing]

@ertopolice Hey! I’ve been organising a men‘s circle for a few months now which is happening over skype once a week and it has been very beneficial. I start off with a guided meditation to get in touch with the present moment, the body and emotions and then we talk one after another about stuff that‘s currently going on in our personal life. Everyone listens carefully to give the person talking the feeling that their being seen/heard and no one gives a commentary or tries to change the person with some advice. Maybe you can find something like that too, good luck!

[w4read]

Personally, I kinda look at this situation as a blessing in a sense, because I'm finishing my studies next year and now I can focus solely on that. So then I don't have to feel the fomo because of not joining the parties that usually are arranged two/three times a week. 

When that's said, this could also be a good opportunity to get in touch with people you haven't spoke with in some time and reconnect with these people. Ask them how their doing and tell them that you enjoyed the last time you were together and that you would gladly meetup again and hear about how things are going. I did this with two former student buddies who I hadn't talked to for 9 and 6 months. One of them I had a really good talk and decided that we should stay in touch and meet up more. I feel like people are in a sense more receptive to others reaching out nowadays, so that should be viewed as an opportunity rather than a limitation. 

Also as the @Thestarguitarist14 and @everythingisnothing mentioned, joining a group or some activity, either a skype group, meetup group, or a sport can be really beneficial. When you're in an acticvity group you often meet like minded people with shared interests. So that's a good bet I would say.

Personally, I'm playing tennis and golf once a week and that's pretty much all my social life these days except an occasional meetup with some of my friends. 

[ertopolice]

@Thestarguitarist14 Definately! it's so devastating atmosphere. Here in my country we are officially under a new lockdown from tonight till may..so it's been harsh news i guess. That nature trips look so good and i wish i could join some like that over here!@everythingisnothing Yes, online life/ activities are getting more and more common these days but hey i miss REAL human contact

1 hour ago, w4read said:

Personally, I kinda look at this situation as a blessing in a sense, because I'm finishing my studies next year and now I can focus solely on that. So then I don't have to feel the fomo because of not joining the parties that usually are arranged two/three times a week. 

When that's said, this could also be a good opportunity to get in touch with people you haven't spoke with in some time and reconnect with these people. Ask them how their doing and tell them that you enjoyed the last time you were together and that you would gladly meetup again and hear about how things are going. I did this with two former student buddies who I hadn't talked to for 9 and 6 months. One of them I had a really good talk and decided that we should stay in touch and meet up more. I feel like people are in a sense more receptive to others reaching out nowadays, so that should be viewed as an opportunity rather than a limitation. 

Also as the @Thestarguitarist14 and @everythingisnothing mentioned, joining a group or some activity, either a skype group, meetup group, or a sport can be really beneficial. When you're in an acticvity group you often meet like minded people with shared interests. So that's a good bet I would say.

Personally, I'm playing tennis and golf once a week and that's pretty much all my social life these days except an occasional meetup with some of my friends. 

Good point about u making the best of your time focusing in ur studies. I wish i had something like that nowadays in my life but work is %100

Regarding social life, gym and work mates it's all i got these days.

[ivory]

Me and my friends meet in parks, hike, and camp. We pretty much stick to the outdoors to minimize risk. That said, for those who don't have friends this is a really tough time to meet new people. However, meetup.com is still a decent option for meeting people. Some meetups gather outdoors or use zoom to congregate virtually. Some of my friends are still doing online dating to meet potential partners but I hear that many are cautious about meeting in person.

[ertopolice]

@ivory I guess u need to pay for the subscription fee, but it's an option

I got no many friends and most of them are couples w/children..

 

[ivory]

@ertopolice Meetup is free if you're a normal member. You only pay a fee if you organize your own group.

[aurum]

@ertopolice

I actually find it's not that bad where I live. Yeah the bars and clubs are closed but that's not really my scene anymore these days. It has forced me to get a little more creative and branch out to areas I wouldn't normally go to.

[ertopolice]

@ivory Yes..but there're no groups in my area yet

@aurum not a club person here either, more into sports and intelectual stuff. Perhaps my biggest issue is the lack of friends

[ertopolice]

(lockdown update)...

Gyms to be closed this week in my hometown and probably we'll all get locked down at home again in a few days.

I was using this hobbie to get into socializing/meeting ppl/ approaching..

any tips on how to make the best of these last days of training?

feels guys are so crazy with this all that stare at me because i'm one of the few females there BUT

one new guy at gym is impressibly smart and polite and so attractive! will like to approach and interact  with him but these last weeks it felt so weird and also i guess it'd be of no use if i never see hi again due to the lockdown...

any tips?