What is My (Consciousness) Universal Purpose? (3G Mushroom Trip Caused Confusion)

[Muhammad Jawad]

Hi LEO &  Everyone!

I hope you are doing well.

After my Last 3 Gram of Psilocybin Magic Mushroom Cubnesis Trip I have got stuck in the following thought & question:

When I was at the peak of my Trip I was pure consciousness and was aware of my every Imaginative creation (thoughts, sensations, imaginations, emotions, etc..) and I was feeling complete and fulfilled. At that time I thought and said to myself:

 

 

"Let's Just Be as you really are without doing or becoming anything and let yourself unfold automatically and just witness everything.

Then I imagined and thought that the following situations will Occur if I adopt this Automatic phenomenon and remain as I really am:

I (Consciousness) is aware of every thought, imaginations, sensations, voices whatever is Rising in me. (Closed Eyes)

After many hours when the Trip effect will disappear & My body will need food & Water and for that my body will produce specific kinds of sensations and thoughts. But I will not give any meaning to those sensations and just will remain in the state of Pure Consciousness and witness to whatever is happening in the field of Consciousness.

And If I remain as it is and not respond to my sensations, and thoughts and voices. Then That will lead to Chaos in my Mind, Body, Family, World. The time will come when my Family will take my body to the Hospital.

And If I will still remain as I am as pure witness consciousness and just aware of whatever is happening then the time will come soon when My Body will be dead and I will still be there as the consciousness of all of this drama.

And I don't care because I was never born, These are all just my imaginations.

I can't find any purpose to live as a limited human being because I don't Lack anything I am everything, I am alone. I am already fulfilled.

On that trip, I was confused and was not sure and was the thing that What is the right decision?

Should I follow those criteria which I described above which just remain as Pure Consciousness?

Or I should come back & live as a limited human being."

 

 

Due to this confusion, I came back to this Imaginative world just to ask this question and understand What I should do. What is your suggestion? I know I am Consciousness, I am this world, I am this question, I am this text. And the ones who will answer me is still me. So I have manifested divided myself into this dream world and dream characters and now I am asking my dream characters who are ultimately me.  So ultimately I am asking this question to myself (Dream Characters). What should I do? 

Should I follow those criteria which I described above which just remain as Pure Consciousness and let everything transform in front of me?

Or I should come back & live as a limited human being.

If your answer is to come back and live this limited Dream, Then I would like to ask Why? Why I should respond to the imaginations, sensations, and thoughts related to this limited Dimension.? What is the purpose behind it?

I am not able to understand my (Consciousness) purpose.

Why Leo Came back to this Limited World after the 30 Day 5-Meo DMT Retreat? He was also at that stage when he had to decide what to do and he decided to come back. In his video, he said he came back for his family members and to help others. But that creates conflict. There is no other. It's Only Consciousness. You are just imagining others. If you don't imagine this world and then no one will suffer because of your death because you didn't create them through your imagination is 1st place.

Waiting for your response.

Thanks

[Dazgwny]

Interesting. Personally I’d say you come back, live it, enjoy it, explore it, and see it through until it’s end point. I mean like your saying your gonna end up that pure consciousness anyway when alls said and done so why not just see what’s possible from this limited state your in, explore the different states that can be achieved whilst living a human bound existence, and yea basically just kick back enjoy the ride and learn. Live the dream as one might say. The mere fact u say you wanted to come and ask the question, suggests that you want to learn and explore more from your current perspective. So continue to do that ??

[Muhammad Jawad]

10 minutes ago, Dazgwny said:

Interesting. Personally I’d say you come back, live it, enjoy it, explore it, and see it through until it’s end point. I mean like your saying your gonna end up that pure consciousness anyway when alls said and done so why not just see what’s possible from this limited state your in, explore the different states that can be achieved whilst living a human bound existence, and yea basically just kick back enjoy the ride and learn. Live the dream as one might say. The mere fact u say you wanted to come and ask the question, suggests that you want to learn and explore more from your current perspective. So continue to do that ??

Hi Dazgwny!

I hope you are doing great.

Thanks a lot for responding.

Why do I come back? Where do I come back? There is nowhere to go. it's just me. 

Why do I live it? I do not have any urge to live it. Because all of my urges are fulfilled. In fact, Urges are also my own creation. I do not have any desire to live because Desires are my creations, imaginations, thoughts. In reality, I do not have any urge or Desire. I am already complete. I do not have any desire to live or die.

What do you want me to enjoy? I am already enjoying it but in fact, How can I enjoy anything? I am Joy myself. Joy is flowing from me. Joy is my creation. I am not dependent on Joy. Joy is dependent on me. I do not have any desire to enjoy it. I am already as complete as I am.  

What & Why do you want me to explore? I am already explored by me. I do not have any desire for exploration. I am not a slave of my desires. Desires are my imagination. There is nothing to explore. it's just me. Only the one needs exploration who is incomplete. I am already complete.

Which endpoint? I have no end or beginning.

Yes, I am ready to see or witness this limited state but that will start producing chaos, I will witness my body is dying and the outer world and my family which is dependent on me are crying running to hospitals, etc... I am just witnessing. Do you want me to witness that? Do you want me to see how the body is dying and how the world is disappearing?

Why do I struggle to achieve different states to explore them when everything is automatically is creating and dying in me?  Why not just witness whatever is happening?

What do I learn? Why do I learn? I don't lack anything. Knowledge is me, All knowledge born from me. Only those people learn who don't have knowledge. And that world knowledge is the main Hurdle between you and your real self. Do you want me to increase that knowledge and increase the gap and hurdles between me and my real self? The only way to become Consciousness is to UNLEARN whatever you have learned in this world. Unlearning is the Key but your suggestion is to learn which leads to suffering.

Why I should not just witness the dream? Why I should live it? I don't lack anything. And Which dream? There is no dream. Everything is me.

I just don't want to know What my Purpose is but I want to know the Answer to "Why" As Well? Why do I make a specific Purpose when I am already complete and in reality, I don't have any purpose. We Limited humans (Body/Mind) requires and depended on Purposes. But I (Consciousness) do not require anything. I (Consciousness) is not dependent on any purpose. I am already complete & Full.

So please answer me:   

Should I sit behind as consciousness and witness this dream?

Or

Should I adopt the role of limited beings and act accordingly? If you want me to choose this option then, please tell me the reason as well. Why I (Consciousness) should do that?

Waiting for your response.

Thanks 

  

[Dazgwny]

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I just don't want to know What my Purpose is but I want to know the Answer to "Why" As Well? Why do I make a specific Purpose when I am already complete and in reality, I don't have any purpose.

Answered your own question mate??. Good luck keep well

[Muhammad Jawad]

10 minutes ago, Dazgwny said:

Answered your own question mate??. Good luck keep well

So by this you mean, Me (Consciousness) is confused about himself, about its own existence and there is no one to answer and solve his confusions that's why Consciousness manifests himself into limited multiple forms to find the answer to his own confusions related to his own existence?

 

But The One who is Confused can not be a God.

 

Hahaha Still Confused...

[Dazgwny]

I don’t know. I just know that your not ready to do what your contemplating by saying to sit there and witness yourself drop dead because you’ve a lot more to learn and still have questions as to just what on earth it is your up to by living as a human being. If your confused, you still havnt got it. So best bet is to crack on like the rest of us and find all the answers to your questions. That’s all I’m doing. As I said, keep well, take care, and good luck

[Muhammad Jawad]

32 minutes ago, Dazgwny said:

I don’t know. I just know that your not ready to do what your contemplating by saying to sit there and witness yourself drop dead because you’ve a lot more to learn and still have questions as to just what on earth it is your up to by living as a human being. If your confused, you still havnt got it. So best bet is to crack on like the rest of us and find all the answers to your questions. That’s all I’m doing. As I said, keep well, take care, and good luck

Thanks a lot for your try to help me. I really appreciate your time & response.

 

I will wait for the LEO's Point of View on this perspective as well... 

[Muhammad Jawad]

Waiting for the help of the others as well...

[tsuki]

You as pure consciousness have no purpose, you are already complete and fulfilled.
That is why you created separation and clouded your view of yourself, so that you can experience yourself. This is the point of the person. It is to expand the contraction of consciousness that you are and experience yourself more fully until you die. Death is absolute truth that is experienced as astonishing perfection and life is a dream that you create by choosing what you experience and master (how you expand). You are totally free to do either because there is no escape from love, your true nature.

Edited October 27, 2020 by tsuki

[Adam M]

First of all, it is very easy to tell the difference between a genuine awakening and an awakening that is mixed in with conceptual contrivance (and ego).

There is no easy or kind way to say this...but you're full of shit.

You're not awake. You're still fast asleep. There's still plenty of work to do.

On 10/25/2020 at 5:21 AM, Muhammad Jawad said:

Should I adopt the role of limited beings and act accordingly? If you want me to choose this option then, please tell me the reason as well. Why I (Consciousness) should do that?

The reason why you master your life as a human being is for the sake of all sentient beings. If you are as awake as you claim, then, I'm sure that you are aware of the massive amount of suffering that afflicts our world. Sure, there may be no suffering from your perspective, but from the perspective of a homeless person, an abused child, or a drug addict, there is still plenty.
 

Since you are so awake and free from suffering. Then why not use this perfect gift that you have given yourself, a healthy and strong human body, to help alleviate the suffering of others. Or, you can sit still and do nothing for the rest of your life. But, if you are truly awake, then there is no more reason to sit in a cave and do nothing as opposed to expending blood, sweat, and tears trying to make a positive impact on the world by choosing to live impeccably.

 

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that you're not awake. If you were, you wouldn't be so confused.

Stop trying to philosophize and think your way out of this problem. You are terribly trapped in the mind and have created a massive spiritual ego.

If you truly embodied Infinite Love and Wisdom, then you wouldn't be asking these questions.

Your new purpose to take whatever amount of awakening you think you have, throw that in the garbage, and get your shit together.

 

P.S. If you're not interested in getting your shit together (like finding your life purpose and positively impacting the world). Then just work on stabilizing and deepening your awakening. Go on a retreat or something. Go talk to a true master. He'll set you on the right path.

P.P.S If you don't know your own universal purpose (as consciousness) then that means that you still have plenty of meditating, contemplating, and researching to do. Don't ask this question and then pretend like you have no more reason to study and contemplate.

 

Edited October 28, 2020 by Adam M

[Muhammad Jawad]

16 hours ago, tsuki said:

You as pure consciousness have no purpose, you are already complete and fulfilled.

Hi!

Thanks a lot for your response.

I think Completeness & Fullfilness can not be a Reason to create separation. 

16 hours ago, tsuki said:

so that you can experience yourself

Do I (Consciousness) lack my experience? Why God will like to manifest himself to separation and limited beings to experience himself? Is God lack his own experience and depended on limited beings to experience himself? 

The One who lacks anything and depending on something can not be God. God is complete and fulfilled he doesn't lack anything and is not dependent on any state to experience himself. 

So why I (Consciousness) should adopt this limitation?

17 hours ago, tsuki said:

It is to expand the contraction of consciousness that you are and experience yourself more fully until you die.

I (Consciousness) Do not born or die and I am not contracted and Infinite and eternal can not be contracted.

17 hours ago, tsuki said:

Death is absolute truth that is experienced as astonishing perfection and life is a dream that you create by choosing what you experience and master (how you expand).

Death & Life do not exist. These are just words.

So please answer me:   

Should I sit behind as Consciousness/God and witness this dream (Collection of my own properties (Sensations, Thoughts etc...))?

Or

Should I adopt the role of limited beings and act accordingly? If you want me to choose this option then, please tell me the reason as well. Why I (Consciousness) should do that?

Will appreciate your answer in more detail.

Thanks

[Muhammad Jawad]

Hi Adam!

I hope you are doing well.

Thanks a lot for your detailed answer.

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

First of all, it is very easy to tell the difference between a genuine awakening and an awakening that is mixed in with conceptual contrivance (and ego).

Exactly I already know that I am not Fully Enlightened because the one who is Fully Enlightened is not Confused anymore but my confusion is the proof that I am not the Genuinely & Fully Enlightened or Awakened. And I accept that and never claimed that I am Fully Enlightened. These questions at this Forum are itself my journey to exploring myself and finding the answer to my questions & confusion.

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

There is no easy or kind way to say this...but you're full of shit.

By Shit, I assume you mean I am full of confusion and egoistic thoughts, etc...

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

You're not awake. You're still fast asleep. There's still plenty of work to do.

Exactly I already know that. I never claimed that I am 100% awaken. I know there's plenty of work to do.

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

The reason why you master your life as a human being is for the sake of all sentient beings.

But according to my experience, there are no other beings. I can not find any other being. I am just aware of myself (Collection of Observer, Thoughts, Sensations, Colors, etc...). Then I label my thoughts, sensations, and colors, etc and assume and label them as World, Beings etc... Which is not necessary. 

And if there are not other beings then for whose sake I do what I do as you said "you master your life as a human being for the sake of other beings.

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

If you are as awake as you claim

I never claimed that I am 100% Awaken I just said I can't see anything other than myself (Collection of Observer, Thoughts, Sensations, Sounds, Colors, etc...)

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

I'm sure that you are aware of the massive amount of suffering that afflicts our world. Sure, there may be no suffering from your perspective, but from the perspective of a homeless person, an abused child, or a drug addict, there is still plenty.

From my perspective there is no suffering, there is no world, there is no homeless person, No Child, No Drug Addict, etc...

How & Why do I assume that there is a perspective of a homeless person when in reality there is no homeless person?

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

Since you are so awake and free from suffering.

I am not sure about that If I am free from suffering or not, because I have not tested my ability and see how do I react to any kind of suffering (physical & emotional pain). But In the near future, I want to put myself into pain willingly so I can understand suffering from God's Perspective and dissolve it into God.

1 hour ago, Adam M said:

Then why not use this perfect gift that you have given yourself, a healthy and strong human body, to help alleviate the suffering of others.

I didn't found any gift. I am that Gift. I can't find my body aspect a few sensations, colors, patterns, sounds & thoughts, etc. I want to help others but I can't find others. Where I can find others and help them?

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

But, if you are truly awake, then there is no more reason to sit in a cave and do nothing as opposed to expending blood, sweat, and tears trying to make a positive impact on the world by choosing to live impeccably.

I am not fully awake and my confusion is proof of that. Why do you label your Imagination as a cave? There is no cave. Blood, tears, Impact, and world are just labels. In reality, there is only you & Me (One/Consciousness).

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that you're not awake. If you were, you wouldn't be so confused.

Exactly & I already know that.

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

Stop trying to philosophize and think your way out of this problem. You are terribly trapped in the mind and have created a massive spiritual ego.

Whatever I am experiencing is not a philosophy. That is my experience. Thoughts, Sensations, Sounds, Colors, etc are my experiences. This is not my philosophy.

Can you experience anything other than Thoughts, Sensations, Sounds, Colors etc...?

I don't want anyway to out of this problem. I want to understand the problem. I am not sure maybe it's true that I am trapped in the mind.

I don't know what you mean by spiritual ego. I am not trying to become something or create something. I am just stuck in choosing 1 option from 2 options. I am not sure which decision to take and why?

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

Your new purpose to take whatever amount of awakening you think you have, throw that in the garbage, and get your shit together.

Maybe I don't have any awakening to throw.

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

If you're not interested in getting your shit together (like finding your life purpose and positively impacting the world). Then just work on stabilizing and deepening your awakening. Go on a retreat or something. Go talk to a true master. He'll set you on the right path.

I am interested in getting my shit together but I can't find any shit or world. What kind of retreat do you want me to join? I have already done 10 Days of Vipassana retreat. Maybe someone could guide me on the right path. I thought You will be able to help me to come out of confusion and make the right decision with the answer to Why?

2 hours ago, Adam M said:

If you don't know your own universal purpose (as consciousness) then that means that you still have plenty of meditating, contemplating, and researching to do. Don't ask this question and then pretend like you have no more reason to study and contemplate.

Yes, I think I still have plenty of meditation, contemplation & research to do. I never said that I have no more reason to study & contemplate. 

 

You and I are the same consciousness. Do you as (consciousness) know the answer to the following question?

What is the Universal Purpose of Consciousness? Why Consciousness labels its experiences (thoughts, sensations, colors, sounds) into something false which is not true and creates an illusory life & suffering, etc?

 

Waiting for your response.

 

Thanks               

[tsuki]

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I think Completeness & Fullfilness can not be a Reason to create separation. 

Then you have not experienced what I'm talking about and thinking will not get you anywhere closer to what you are looking for.
I understand how this seems backwards, but truth has no regard for our narrow-mindedness.

This is a good starting point for a deeper trip.

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Do I (Consciousness) lack my experience? Why God will like to manifest himself to separation and limited beings to experience himself? Is God lack his own experience and depended on limited beings to experience himself?

These are all valid questions, but they can only be answered from direct experience and not from hearsay, so I will refrain from answering them for you.

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

The One who lacks anything and depending on something can not be God. God is complete and fulfilled he doesn't lack anything and is not dependent on any state to experience himself. 

So why I (Consciousness) should adopt this limitation?

What would you do if you truly were complete and not lacking anything?
Would it be possible for you to be anything other than love itself?
Open up to the consequences of fullness of God.

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I (Consciousness) Do not born or die and I am not contracted and Infinite and eternal can not be contracted.

This is hearsay for you and it is demonstrably false. What the body is, other than a contraction in consciousness? It is literally a concept in the universal mind.

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Should I sit behind as Consciousness/God and witness this dream (Collection of my own properties (Sensations, Thoughts etc...))?

Or

Should I adopt the role of limited beings and act accordingly? If you want me to choose this option then, please tell me the reason as well. Why I (Consciousness) should do that?

"Shoulds" are within the relative domain and arise from the person, the purpose of which is to persist.
What you are presenting here with this question is a false alternative. These two options are not contradictory.

Edited October 28, 2020 by tsuki

[Muhammad Jawad]

18 minutes ago, tsuki said:

What would you do if you truly were complete and not lacking anything?

If I am complete and not lacking anything then I will not feel any need to do anything.

19 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Would it be possible for you to be anything other than love itself?

I think love is just a label given to a specific concept.

21 minutes ago, tsuki said:

What the body is, other than a contraction in consciousness?

According to my experience, there is no body. I am just aware of a few experiences of Colors, sensations, sounds, and thoughts about these experiences.

 

Thanks a lot for helping me with this self inquery. :-)

[tsuki]

58 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I think love is just a label given to a specific concept.

We give labels to ideas, but ideas point towards experience.
There is an experience behind the concept we call love. What is it?

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

If I am complete and not lacking anything then I will not feel any need to do anything.

Drop this belief, it does not facilitate your awakening.

[Muhammad Jawad]

50 minutes ago, tsuki said:

There is an experience behind the concept we call love. What is it?

I am not sure how to explain the experience of love.

52 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Drop this belief, it does not facilitate your awakening.

Is it not beings instinct to "DO" something?

Why God will feel the urge to do something?

We, Humans, are slaves of our urges. But is not a slave of his urges.

How can we have that belief that God wanted to do this?  

[tsuki]

2 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I am not sure how to explain the experience of love.

The point is to experience love for yourself, instead of explaining it.
The experience itself will answer your questions about fullness and the purpose of God.
Words won't do it justice.

Have a nice day.

[Nahm]

On 10/25/2020 at 3:39 AM, Muhammad Jawad said:

So I have manifested divided myself into this dream world and dream characters and now I am asking my dream characters who are ultimately me.  So ultimately I am asking this question to myself (Dream Characters). What should I do? 

Still the dream bruh. ?? 

[Moksha]

@Muhammad Jawad Why did you create Maya in the first place?

I will tell you of the wisdom that leads to immortality: the beginningless Brahman, which can be called neither being nor non-being. It dwells in all…Beyond the gunas, it enjoys their play. (Bhagavad Gita 13:12-14)

There is playfulness in manifestation. You enjoy the game of discovering yourself. You love creating a multitude of forms, and manifesting yourself through them. That is your ultimate purpose.

[Adam M]

4 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Is it not beings instinct to "DO" something?

Why God will feel the urge to do something?

We, Humans, are slaves of our urges. But is not a slave of his urges.

How can we have that belief that God wanted to do this?  

God wanted all this because it is so. And what is so is perfect.

Your mind is creating a false idea of "what an enlightened being should or shouldn't do."

God feels plenty of urge to evolve its own consciousness, complexity and compassion.

Any urge that you feel, God is feeling that same urge. The very reason why you are in this forum is because you have the urge to understand yourself deeper. That is God's urge. Follow it.

Do not imagine that God wishes to just sit and be still. God creates an entire universe just for fun. For the sake of the beauty of the Creation itself.

Embody the highest Love within you and act from there.

Personally, when I am in a very high state, I feel a deep and powerful urge to create beautiful art. This is God's urge to create beauty through me as the instrument.

What kind of beauty will you create?

Don't create it because somebody on a forum is telling you to. Find something that you are genuinely called to create.

As for retreats, I got a lot of growth from attending a dzogchen retreat... however this may be hard to find...

Leo has many videos such as

"What is Love?" 

"The ultimate structure of reality."

"The meaning of life explained."

These may help point you in the right direction... watch more Leo... it's free after all!