Have you achieved a fair level of emotional mastery?

[soos_mite_ah]

4 minutes ago, blandana said:

True, but learning there isn't one person who does that is also important.  It's very important to classify the same type of human as a sociopath who has no value if they are just trying to harass you as opposed to just "getting angry" and looking past it.

I agree. Also not taking things personally and understanding what other people do isn't always a reflection of who you are rather it could just be their mental state/ additional factors. Same goes with situations. The world isn't out to get you. Sometimes things just happen. A large component of emotional mastery is not internalizing things. 

5 minutes ago, blandana said:

Yes patrick, this is true.  Even if someone is getting angry because of your actions it does not mean you are doing something right.  There is a silly little phrase that has been passed down on the internet and memes that if you are making someone angry you are "doing something right" and will get a reward.

That is entirely untrue.

You would get angry if I fed your pet bad food and I said it was fresh and that does not make me a good person, it makes me a bad person who wanted to save a dollar and doesn't expect you to sue me because I believed you didn't have enough money to take the situation into court.  Etc

I think that phrase is extremely contextual. On one hand it could mean standing up to your values regardless of what the opposition thinks instead of keeping to yourself and getting walked all over. For instance, standing up for racial equality will piss of white supremacists. On the other hand it could be used to justify bad behavior like the example you mentioned 

[blandana]

Repressing your anger does not indicate emotional mastery much like a few posters have mentioned (including patrick star).

 

It's valuable to understand when your own anger is valid and whether or not you should take action upon it or if it is spur of the moment just because you are drunk etc

[blandana]

2 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I agree. Also not taking things personally and understanding what other people do isn't always a reflection of who you are rather it could just be their mental state/ additional factors. Same goes with situations. The world isn't out to get you. Sometimes things just happen. A large component of emotional mastery is not internalizing things. 

I think that phrase is extremely contextual. On one hand it could mean standing up to your values regardless of what the opposition thinks instead of keeping to yourself and getting walked all over. For instance, standing up for racial equality will piss of white supremacists. On the other hand it could be used to justify bad behavior like the example you mentioned 

I stood up for racial equality once and I don't hate but it got too emotional.  I try to let people come to me and ask me the meaning of their existence rather than proclaiming I even deserve to be "proud" of my race.

 

  Indian lives and every other lives matter just as much as black lives but they dont have a hashtag even if they aren't breaking the law, sad story.

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[blandana]

Ill have to go soon, i ran out of smokes( just say no if you don't smoke yet itll save you money) and really need to get back to 3d rigging in blender,  it was nice to spend time with everyone and not have absolutely meanies trying to harass me.  

 

Hopefully this is an indication that Leo feels as though my posts are not promoting harassment and open a discussion that is valuable.

I appreciate you reading them but I will have to take a break soon like I mentioned.  Even though I went to sleep.

 

Everyone has things to do like laundry, mowing the lawn, shaving ur own beard, etc.

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Depends, if you're not getting angry because you repress anger and aren't comfortable expressing it, that is not a sign of emotional mastery. It's the opposite. 

I don't often feel anger, only for a couple of seconds at most. However, I used to repress my emotions a lot in the past, but I've been consciously working on that problem for a while now. Right now as it stands, I don't see how I could be repressing my anger to any serious extent. I've learned to become aware of on a bodily level when I'm holding on to an emotion and how to release it. I did a lot of crying meditation back when I used to be a total mess in this respect and that helped me a lot. I really recommend it if you feel like a numbed out disembodied zombie (even that is often very hard to realize just out of the blue).

Edited October 23, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[blandana]

6 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I don't often feel anger, only for a couple of seconds at most. However, I used to repress my emotions a lot in the past, but I've been consciously working on that problem for a while now. Right now as it stands, I don't see how I could be repressing my anger to any serious extent.

maybe its because ur not actually angry?  right now?

Just like patrick said I believe as well although it is not a spiritual guideline that knowing when you are angry is important but knowing when to act upon that emotion is also important (not sure if that makes sense grammatically but I think you get the point hopefully).

Anger is the most difficult emotion to master when it comes to "emotional mastery" and most likely is why the phrase "emotional mastery" even exists.

In my opinion it translates to  : how do you become comfortable as a physical being and also still allow yourself to become angry but live a happy sustainable life which is safe to yourself and others around you?

Do you become angry? do you outwardly express it?  please explain Buddha.

If I'm buddha level I'll let you know I get angry sometimes.  Don't be ashamed.

I do my best to make my opinions known to others around me if I am uncomfortable with a situation and feel like it is endangering my safety.

I usually only speak physically about my anger however if I feel as though it is damaging my livelihood unfairly.

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[Carl-Richard]

3 minutes ago, blandana said:

Do you become angry? do you outwardly express it?  please explain Buddha.

I actually do express it outwardly in a pretty violent fashion for how short it usually lasts, but that descripition is of course pretty relative. Anger usually only lasts for long periods of time if it's constantly re-ignited by repetitive thoughts. On average, the less thoughts you have, the less anger you have. That is why so-called angry people are often low consciousness. They are addicted to spinning self-serving narratives.

Edited October 23, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[blandana]

2 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I actually do express it outwardly in a pretty violent fashion for how short it usually lasts, but that descripition is of course pretty relative.

if it works for your situation depending on how violent or harmful the situation is in your particular position it may be valid if you are not breaking the law or harassing anyone and feel as though the other being in question needs to understand your emotions.

 

You of course however have to live with the consequences of that "person" or object forever remembering that moment and now seeing you as someone who is more honest than your average bear.

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, blandana said:

if it works for your situation depending on how violent or harmful the situation is in your particular position it may be valid if you are not breaking the law or harassing anyone and feel as though the other being in question needs to understand your emotions.

Yes. The cases where you're actually inclined to break the law or hurt somebody if you just let your emotions go, that would be a valid case for emotional repression. Learning appropiate emotional repression is therefore a part of emotional mastery.

[Carl-Richard]

58 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

I find emotions similar to going to the bathroom - if you hold it for too long all that’s gonna happen is one day you’re just gonna shit yourself in public  

That is a great analogy LOL

[ivory]

I bet we'd get a lot of different definitions if we asked multiple people to define "emotional mastery". To me all it really means is understanding how emotions come and go and being competent with tools for dealing with emotions so that they are no longer running your life. It requires diligence, courage, and life-long commitment. Someone with a fair level of emotional mastery is going to understand impermanence on a deep level. That is to say that emotions don't last, but neither does transcendence or the quality of our practice.

 

Here is what I've learned about the nature of emotion:

 

It is true that some emotions stop arising in certain situations, particular through repeated exposure. Emotions also stop arising as we heal from trauma and loss. Sometimes emotions don't go away, but the intensity lessens. Other times emotions return or increase in intensity as our exposure to them lessens or when we stop practicing. The last thing I've realized is that life is always changing so we will always have emotional reactions as life throws new challenges at us.

 

I don't like the term emotional mastery because it implies a destination or transcendence or some other bullshit like that. However, I do believe that we can tap into equanimous states with increasing frequency as our understanding and commitment deepens.

[susanyzm]

I feel that emotions are stored in the body, not in the head. Reasoning with myself of emotional control is exhausting. But if my body is deeply relaxed, a lot of negativity is released so naturally. I feel secure, peaceful, joyful, having a lot of ideas and creativity to express, like the universe energy is coursing through my body freely. 

In other words, trying to control my emotions is like I'm in the water and I learn all sorts of swimming skills to keep myself afloat. It works, but it's pretty exhausting.

Relaxing my body, on the other hand, is like I'm out of the water completely. I don't have to worry about being drowned at all. 

I practice yoga+meditation to deeply relax my body. Once the body is relaxed and re-energized, I'm in a flow state. 

By the way, you have no idea how much emotions have been stored in the body until you relax it. I once cried my way through a yoga session! But it's such a relief to let them go. 

[hyruga]

Some people feel that they are very strong in emotional control but deep down, they are still repressing their feelings. So one bad day, they may suddenly burst out all their repressed feelings and did something really bad. 

It's like saving money. Some people who scrim and save every day suddenly feel like spending a lot maybe $500,000 on an 'investment' or $1 mil on a condo because they feel they deserved it or because they can no longer control themselves. Just an example. Or course, there are many counter examples as well.

Edited October 24, 2020 by hyruga

[Origins]

Another thing I now do:

1. What is the most emotionally difficult thing I could be doing right now (in sync with time of day)?

2. Then sync answers relative to my highest goal which for me is consciousness expansion. 

(which has several aspects I'm working out still - so informational (i.e. read the best book I could be reading for my progress right now, write the right book, etc), energetic, emotional (inclusive of say a difficult workout routine) and physical (inclusive of things like neuroplasticity protocols because that's of course physical), spiritual (what giving activity should I be participating in right now? How can I GIVE it my all?), among other).

3. Schedule that "right now" to various time periods, so from right now to this week, this month, this year, etc. followed by number 2 again.

Living life to the full is a highly strategic endeavour, but this aspect makes it all the more fulfilling. Don't underestimate how strategic you gotta be.

Love.