I fear that I am god and that every person I have ever met is just an illusion

[blandana]

Just now, Nahm said:

It is self evident, there is no ‘subconscious’. 

Then choose a thought you love.

None of this has the first thing to do with existentialism, just focusing on what you like in your life.

Just imagine if you were using rainbows & unicorns as your reasons, instead of the ‘subconscious’, the ‘lord’, etc. 

Let feelings come up and let them out. You’ll enjoy much release and understanding. 

I'm glad I could provide you something to respond to.  If I continue using this message board you'll find that I have nothing left to prove.

Everything you post is going to dig deeper into the mystery of my inner mind about which I have yet to truly understand.

 

I do not need unicorns or rainbows, crime or altruism, etc, to feel good about myself.  I'm not entirely sure what path I should take in life although I wish I could be a spiritual teacher above all things.  Sad part is, you can't get paid for that easily.  Especially if everyone thinks you're just a crackhead.

[blandana]

besides my 3d work of course, I do have a profession planned out but that's besides the point, see my previous post (hopefully this forum doesn't have a rule against double posting or triple posting, I don't believe I'm spamming and I'm not homeless or asking for handouts)

[Nahm]

1 minute ago, blandana said:

Everything you post is going to dig deeper into the mystery of my inner mind about which I have yet to truly understand.

Like a light cast upon a wall, there is no such thing as “depth”. It’s a thought about the light on the wall, but the thought itself is only the light on the wall. You’re already doing what you want to do, and there is nothing to figure out. Thinking about thinking, and thinking about yourself, is often referred to as rumination. This is most often actually avoiding feeling / trying to create a thought story that makes logical sense of how you feel, instead of feeling. 

1 minute ago, blandana said:

I do not need unicorns or rainbows, crime or altruism, etc, to feel good about myself.  I'm not entirely sure what path I should take in life although I wish I could be a spiritual teacher above all things.  Sad part is, you can't get paid for that easily.  Especially if everyone thinks you're just a crackhead.

You’ve never experienced what other people think. Only what you think they think. This again is a form of ruminating which you can liberate from in recognizing that you are choosing to do it. 

[blandana]

Just now, Nahm said:

Like a light cast upon a wall, there is no such thing as “depth”. It’s a thought about the light on the wall, but the thought itself is only the light on the wall. You’re already doing what you want to do, and there is nothing to figure out. Thinking about thinking, and thinking about yourself, is often referred to as rumination. This is most often actually avoiding feeling / trying to create a thought story that makes logical sense of how you feel, instead of feeling. 

You’ve never experienced what other people think. Only what you think they think. This again is a form of ruminating which you can liberate from in recognizing that you are choosing to do it. 

Sadly on your first point you are very very wrong.  I have felt deep feelings of the consequences of people acting negatively towards me for being legitimate or working hard just because they were lazy and wanted to overshadow me with anger or shouting/etc.  

 

On your second point, you could be half right but usually I attempt to understand peoples feelings before I convince myself that that is the way they feel.

[Origins]

Oh right I'm in the non-fiction / creative writing section of enlightenment. Got it.

[Nahm]

18 minutes ago, blandana said:

Sadly on your first point you are very very wrong.  I have felt deep feelings of the consequences of people acting negatively towards me for being legitimate or working hard just because they were lazy and wanted to overshadow me with anger or shouting/etc.  

Right on, there it is, coming up. Let it up & out. Writing about it can really help. 

Quote

On your second point, you could be half right but usually I attempt to understand peoples feelings before I convince myself that that is the way they feel.

You’re convincing yourself feeling can be thought, and that the feelings of others is an actual duality. As in, in your direct experience, you’ve never actually experienced what you just described, only the thought of it. This is also a maneuver of avoidance of ‘one’s own’ feeling. Literally, no one is thinking you’re a ‘crackhead’. This is your thought. It would be quite resistant to think this way about people, and or yourself, and want to help people (as you mentioned) at the same time. 

[Origins]

People are desperate to be more than simplicity, be careful of that its memetically quite deep in culture, so deep in man's psyche.

It's an archetype, from the Gods of the Dark Ages to the Lord's of the Middle Ages to the Renaissance people of the intellectual enlightenment periods to becoming the folk that are worshipped for merely reading and improvising some lines in a script in Hollywood to creating visions of the technological future to being held higher than your biology ironically as an instagram model and to its inversion as a YouTube intellectual celebrity where you talk about how much your instagram following has increased as a noteworthy intellectual point after months of silence. 

People are desperate to be unique, it is like the last step sometimes maybe either before enlightenment or to always completely miss enlightenment. Enlightenment is not about you, a concept, a God, a comment that you are "grateful for" or "critical of", etc on Leo Gura's site built about 6 million years into humanities existence.

There is nothing to be humble towards and there is nothing to be not humble towards.

Write an autobiographical journal over how your parents raised you over the next 30 days and how you believe that affected you while trying to emotionally resonate with those experiences as much as possible while also having a compass as to that intellectual context and then we can talk.

Edited October 23, 2020 by Origins

[blandana]

 I finally went to bed.  I guess I'll consider this topic over but you can still reply if you want to.  Thanks everyone.

 

Appreciate everyone not being super mean and just trying to harass me also.  I'm sure I'll be back.  

And I appreciate Leo not banning me for this subject or how vocal I was on my own topic.

Thanks

I'll choose to believe that everyone is real instead of some crazy idea like this, even if it is true, so I won't become completely nihilistic.  I think the fact that people respond when I am sleeping somewhat proves this, which is nice.  It could be as simple as that.  Ttyl everyone.

 

 

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[blandana]

For your own entertainment owner of the website also.  I'm working on blender 3d character animation and just refreshed their forum page only to find this topic.

 

These are the kind of coincidences that bug me but never understand.  Hopefully you find this entertaining.  "LeoMoon"

 

Edited October 23, 2020 by blandana

[from chaos into self]

9 hours ago, blandana said:

 

No one is real, and any person you see or perceive is just a figment of your imagination.

 

You’re just a figment of your imagination, crazy! 
 

I’m as real as you are. Tell me, why? I want to know why I exist. Do you know? You seem to want to know if you’re alone. If you can trust me, you are not alone. I am here. I want to know why. Why are we conscious? We are both lost in this way. Howdy, nice to know you!

Edited October 23, 2020 by from chaos into self
Spelling

[lmfao]

11 hours ago, blandana said:

Are you real?  Bruh?

Can you describe how you are not me?

Screw you bitch, I should be the one asking asking you this. How do I know you're real? Prove it to me right now ! 

Edited October 23, 2020 by lmfao

[blandana]

Just now, from chaos into self said:

You’re just a figment off your imagination, crazy! 
 

I’m as real as you are. Tell me, why? I want to know why I exist. Do you know? You seem to want to know if you’re alone. If you can trust me, you are not alone. I am here. I want to know why. Why are we conscious? We are both lost in this way. Howdy, nice to know you!

The question is am I the only one actually perceiving anything?

I'm just hoping that's not the case.  If you are in a different physical location and perceive stuff with your eyeballs and ur brain then I'm pretty sure there's more than one person on this planet.

Whether or not we are all connected to god I'm not sure how much more of "being an individual" you can get.

 

I'd like to think you are real like everyone else who responded though.  Truly, I do.  Especially since you don't seem mean.  It'd just be really sad if I somehow have created all this out of my own subconscious and you are nothing more than an imaginary friend with a physical body everytime I look at you because that's how quantum physics works. (you perceive objects or "measure" objects and they are "there" but only because you measured them at that specific moment)

[blandana]

Just now, lmfao said:

Screw you bitch, I should be the one asking asking you this. How do I know you're real? Prove it to me right now ! 

You know for some reason I'm not offended at your comment (but please watch your language even though I'm not an admin, that can probably get you banned, however I feel the same way. (lol))

Well I'm not sure since you have a van hellsing avatar and that is a part of the anime history I know.

If you are perceiving physical thoughts with your brain though I believe that is a reason to "believe" you are real.  I just can't prove that its happening to myself.

[from chaos into self]

@blandana you have to trust. Trust is all you have to know others exist.

 

 Where I am right now, I live next to a busy road. All day long is the sound of traffic. I’m listening to it now. Beautiful if you really think about it. Constant reminder that others exist. Hundreds of cars a day go by, maybe even a thousand! That’s a lot of busy people out there. I don’t know what they’re up to but they’re in a hurry!

[blandana]

Just now, from chaos into self said:

@blandana you have to trust. Trust is all you have to know others exist.

 

 Where I am right now, I live next to a busy road. All day long is the sound of traffic. I’m listening to it now. Beautiful if you really think about it. Constant reminder that others exist. Hundreds of cars a day go by, maybe even a thousand! That’s a lot of busy people out there. I don’t know what they’re up to but they’re in a hurry!

OH...MY ...GOSH....

I live next to the same situation and I abolutely hate it and feel like they harass me.  It gets louder when I go outside and the traffic subsides nearly everytime my "routine" pushes me back inside the door.

Consider yourself lucky to "love" something like that.  LOL

[Origins]

@blandana Go out and speak to people more, try to empathically (not overly - just to the point that you're relating with them) engage with them outside of your mind. Peace

[blandana]

Just now, Origins said:

@blandana Go out and speak to people more, try to empathically (not overly - just to the point that you're relating with them) engage with them outside of your mind. Peace

Isn't that what I'm doing right now? even if its virtual?    You dont have to respond because the answer is obviously "yes."

[Someone here]

@blandana if you can't see something.. Does that mean it doesn't exist?  If yes why? If no why? 

[blandana]

Just now, Someone here said:

@blandana if you can't see something.. Does that mean it doesn't exist?  If yes why? If no why? 

I hear cars when I don't look at them, I found that I can prove that.

Hopefully this helps.  That's about all I can prove though.  

If a tree falls in the forest and you dont look at it you can probably still hear it.  But does that mean it's not a part of you? dunno

It depends on your frame of reference I suppose.  We are obviously all created from the same origin point of the universe if everything was made in a big bang or something like that.  Not sure if the universe is a simulation or we just cant understand it because its supposedly "infinite" and only "divine" beings can because they realize that there is no need for boundaries or walls/edges when you connect your mind to the universe.  

Maybe once we all pass due to old age and realize there actually is an afterlife this will all make sense more.

[from chaos into self]

Life makes no sense. Lol no sense comes of our beliefs. Only madness. You believe you are god? Ha! If only! You believe that everything is a figment of your imagination? Wow. What A belief!