Can a guy be happy with an average girl

[RendHeaven]

9 hours ago, ivory said:

Bro, spirituality doesn't give a shit. You're not thinking for yourself. There are no rules.

Obviously.

But just because "there are no rules," that doesn't mean that running around and attaching yourself to worldly images is the most conscious way to lead your life.

Maybe replace "spirituality" with "desire for conscious living"

Does that change anything?

Edited October 27, 2020 by RendHeaven

[Ananta]

10 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Good observation. Right on the money

Let's imagine though that we are a sexy, confident, and valuable guy (hah).

That is to say, our desire for a "hot girl" is no longer a pathetic plea of obvious deficiency.

Now, is our desire for this "hot girl" in conflict with spirituality?

One thought is, "No. We must allow ourselves to feel what we feel without suppressing or resisting."

An opposing thought might be, "Yes. Preference is a self-serving attachment or bias; we must learn to let go."

Maybe it's both? Neither?

I think my earlier comments in the thread might clear up my position on this a bit, but if this becomes a "non-issue" for you, then you'll just be drawn to the person "as a whole" that you are attracted to the most and try it out.  As a whole I mean the total package-  looks, brains, personality, etc. and stop focusing so much on if they are physically hot or not.

 

[bejapuskas]

A guy can be very unhappy with a super attractive girl.

[Thestarguitarist14]

19 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

A guy can be very unhappy with a super attractive girl.

For sure.  Just ask Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.

[Ananta]

13 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

For sure.  Just ask Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.

?

[ColeMC01]

@bejapuskas I meant average personality more than looks

[ivory]

11 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

But just because "there are no rules," that doesn't mean that running around and attaching yourself to worldly images is the most conscious way to lead your life.

Agreed. 

11 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Maybe replace "spirituality" with "desire for conscious living"

Let's deconstruct this a bit. To be conscious means to be aware. When we are aware we gain insight into who we are and what we value. When we accept these truths about ourselves we can live authentically. I prefer the term "authentic" over "spiritual" because it doesn't leave much room for misinterpretation. The point I'm making here is that no-one can tell us what is spiritual or authentic because we know it in out bones. Sometimes what we learn about ourselves is less than ideal, and we just have to accept that. Maybe we learn that a certain level of attractiveness is required for a relationship to work.

Your original question was: "is our desire for this "hot girl" in conflict with spirituality?"

I'd rephrase that as: "is my desire for this "hot girl" in conflict my values?"

The important thing is that we remain honest as we explore and that we make life decisions based on what we learn.

[Setzer901]

@ColeMC01

Everyone is different. If you just observe people around you, you'll notice:

Average guys with girls who are hot and have a great personality.

Average girls with high value guys.

High value guys with hot girls.

Ugly girls with ugly guys.

and everything in between.

Just be authentic to your desires and go for a good-looking girl if that's what you desire. Just remember that most good-looking girls(not all) want a guy who brings something to the table. But do not settle just because it isn't 'spiritually' incorrect.

 

Edited October 28, 2020 by Setzer901

[bejapuskas]

@Thestarguitarist14 Bruh.. x)

@ColeMC01  Still applies, don't you think?

[ColeMC01]

@bejapuskas I guess it does

[bejapuskas]

@ColeMC01  Don't focus on a girl, but on how you feel.

[Origins]

@ColeMC01 Some people marry their pets. I think that answers your question.

[bejapuskas]

@AMTO  You can be with a person who is rationally above average and still the sweet feelings go away. It is not in that.

[Moon]

You can be content and happy with anything, and gratitude is great...because even if you think you're with a great girl- if you're not grateful for her, you'll always focus on the lack and what more you could have. Same with money and everything else.

Nothing wrong with wanting more if you believe you deserve it ofc, but a balance of striving for better and gratitude is best 

[Axiomatic]

bruh wanting a hot girl friend is like wanting extra homework, or wanting guys to start fights with you at bars. cuz thats what you're gonna get when you have a hot gf my guy. Dumbass homework and dudes testing you. GOOD LUCK