What's The Point Of Talking?!!

[Empty]

Ok, I am a guy who is not really into talking too much. In fact, I have some problems with self-expression, which is what I am working on these days.  After raising my awareness a little bit. I tend to realize that talking is pointless... 

How a self-actualized or an enlightened person  knows that when he is talking, It is not "his ego-talk"? And how does he or she know it in others as well? 

[philosogi]

Ugh yes!! I'm finding it really difficult to talk about most things besides self-actualization. Just have little interest in everything else that seems so much less important. Have you worked on finding what your current life purpose could be?

A truly enlightened person's ego wouldn't get hurt by anything, and it wouldn't get gleeful from anything. I think some questions to clue a person as to whether the ego is talking are:

"Am I comparing myself to others subconsciously? Do I want to be better than them? Do I think I'm lesser than them?"
"Did I say that to reinforce/create/manipulate my identity?"
"Did I say that to prove myself?"
"Was that a 'humble brag'?"
"Am I doing this to look better/be cooler to others?"
"Am I playing the victim?"
etc...

[Empty]

@philosogi Thank you so much. Very wise of you  

 

I think I should raise my level  of meditation by doing it more as well, because when I am alone, I feel in heaven, but as soon as I interact with others my awareness, as well as my ego, gets triggered. This is because of my anxiety, low self-esteem, and so on. 

I will write those question to remind me. 

[philosogi]

7 minutes ago, Muhammad said:

when I am alone, I feel in heaven, but as soon as I interact with others my awareness, as well as my ego, gets triggered. This is because of my anxiety, low self-esteem, and so on.

I hear you and struggle with similar issues, except for me at one point, the miserable ego would follow me into my alone-time and ruin that too. It got so bad I finally went to a relational therapist.

[Empty]

I am sure it will all be gone one day  

That means we are in the right path.

 

[J. M. Wigglesworth]

12 hours ago, Muhammad said:

How a self-actualized or an enlightened person  knows that when he is talking, It is not "his ego-talk"?

Intense familiarity with the filters of ego to the point where you can easily feel how it's changing your communication. Enlightenment helps(probably).

 

Also is there anything specific you meant when you say

12 hours ago, Muhammad said:

talking is pointless

Because if you're already this far on the spiritual path you probably know that everything is 'pointless'. And you'd be right. Communication is a tool. If you need it, you use it. You're trying to develop it, so clearly you need it. Talking must have some purpose you've given it so don't call it pointless. Are you afraid talking with other people you steep you deeper into your ego and therefore it's 'pointless' for the purpose of enlightenment. See what I did there? I saw where your ego snuck in your self agenda into the way you communicate. 

 

Despite that, I'm not entirely sure what you're looking for, whether it's to seek help, complain or explore your shadow so I'll leave it at that. Hope you get what you need   

    

[Lynnel]

13 hours ago, Muhammad said:

How a self-actualized or an enlightened person  knows that when he is talking, It is not "his ego-talk"? And how does he or she know it in others as well? 

Because words are words - and although they carry the energy you put behind them there is nothing wrong with a self-actualized person speaking. For the enlightened one there is no ego to talk.

[Beam]

I have come to the conclusion that our egos are basically untrained and running wild , training yourself is how you train your ego to have more compassion for others and yourself. To be your own best friend as well as others.

Instead of worrying if your speaking threw your ego be mindful of what you say , as you are the ego as the ego is how we project ourselves to others. We project what we think / feel to others so they can see how we interpret the world. This is how we communicate but the trick is to be mindful and teach yourself that others egos are as important as ours that both need acceptance and understanding.

 

 

[FindingPeace]

On 28/08/2016 at 7:13 PM, Muhammad said:

After raising my awareness a little bit. I tend to realize that talking is pointless... 

I've experienced this. Most conversation contains very little information or value. Just small talk.

If people talked less they may become more aware of reality. Or perhaps that's the problem. Talking is a distraction from being quiet and just 'being'. To quote Leo from his video on awareness "While you're talking, your life is expiring".

I enjoy not talking. Peace is a wonderful thing. It allows time to let in the world around me. To contemplate, to introspect. To 'be' more.

There are times when talking has it's uses. To convey information, to complete a social 'transaction'. But most of the time it's gossip, or mindless small talk. People find it comforting, a form of bonding. But I do think people should take more time to be quiet and just 'be' more. There's no need to fill a silence. Instead of being uncomfortable with it, embody it. Enjoy it. It's a beautiful thing.

 

[Vaishnavi]

The worst part is when people start to label you as a "depressed" person with a sad life. I'm in highschool and the things they talk about is simply mindless and shallow. Like really mindless. And because i try to avoid it, they consider me rude and depressed and almost pity me. And I can't help but laugh.

[Andrea Marchetti]

Yes, talking is 99.99% pointless. 
Talking can be used in very few ways: informative talking which is useful in utilitarian terms, grooming talking which implies ego, and any kind of poetry which is self-expression. Also, teaching which is a kind of hypnosis.
I don't talk much too and when I do people don't like much listening to me, people usually do it as a grooming and I don't really like it because it's not a deep way to meet. I talk mainly as informative talking, like "Where did you put my stuff?". And I am not a poet. I like to teach, but often it's better if I just shut up. I am not ready to teach.
An enlightened person can talk useless stuff, because also life is pointless. Just for fun. An enlightened person knows how ego moves, he is conscious about its movement so there is no danger for him to speak shit. He already put the ego at the angle, he faced his fears. He does know in himself and in others simply because he is conscious about it, he is conscious that a certain behaviour comes out from fear. And once he have seen it in himself he can see it also in others. Through empathy.
Inherently there is no problem with talking or not talking. Life itself is pointless... 

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day. His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Her husband looked stunned. He said "What?"

[Key Elements]

@Muhammad

The thing is, if you are self-actualizing (and/or enlightened), still, nothing is perfect for you. You still have to deal with the ego. However, you found your life purpose and continue to work on it until the end. (Actually, there is no end to life purpose.) Along the way, you meet like-minded people, and you tend to talk to them. You will have meaningful conversations with them, not small talk. These people are very few.