Progress Journal October 20 2020

[Preety_India]

I'm thinking about God right now. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

he tried to contact me today and he was trying to play the same tune of not taking any accountability. 

So I decided to give him a final piece of my mind.

 

So I left him this last message for him to reflect on what he did. 

 

"I wanted to give you a final piece of my mind before my final bye. Never play with a woman's emotions ever again the way you did with me, it fucks up her brain for good. That's how women turn into Crystals and Marthas and Preetys.(his other exes that he abused that never talk to him and he used to always bitch about how they never talk to him and blame them for it) They have all been emotionally fucked over for good. You can't just pretend to love a woman and then rip her soul apart. Karma is a bitch. You will have it coming for how much you put me through from day one. you can't delete the horrible emotional scars you gave me. You can't undo how I felt throughout the relationship and the emotional stress and pain you inflicted on me in the name of love. You're what's wrong with society. You can't look at yourself in the mirror. I came as a messenger in your life because you were hurting women too much. Maybe one day you will have your reckoning and that you will recall what you did, what you do to others reflects back to you. That's why Crystal doesn't talk to you and neither will I. I have been hurt, traumatized beyond measure. You won't understand because you're not a woman. You are not loving, you only pretend. True love never hurts. It's only falsehood that hurts. I will try to heal from all the pain you gave me and hope karma counts you in. God exists for those with a clear conscience. God does justice in the end to all who suffer because of people like you. You have no face to show. You can't face God. I am done giving you my piece of mind. 

Bye forever"

 

 

Edited November 3, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Never ever allow anyone to have emotional authority over you. 

..... 

Wrap up and look for closure. 

 

...... 

Don't let the person who is trying to hurt you, succeed. 

 

... 

A lot of people think that victimhood is a bad thing. Actually it's not that easy to dissect victimhood. You have to understand that when someone feels victimized they are deeply hurt and left without healing or recourse.. This unhealed portion within them will continue to spout fire as long as its not healed. That healing doesn't happen easily just like diseases don't get cured easily. When you have a deep wound over your skin, it's gonna hurt and keep hurting. You'll cry because it hurts too much. People will blame you for crying and call you a victim but they won't understand how much it's hurting. They will only know when they are hurting the same way. Till then they will keep holding you responsible for your own hurt instead of trying to heal you. This is what people don't understand about victimhood. They don't give you a space or room to vent. They don't give you a space to be understand and empathized. They don't give you a space to grow. They don't give you a space to heal properly. Don't listen to judgmental people. 

 

Victimhood is not to be blamed or judged. It is to be understood, empathized and healed. Fake victimhood is when a person cries wolf and doesn't want to change and wear the victimhood as a badge. True victimhood is when the person is really suffering and needs help. 

Consider victimhood as fever. When you catch an infection you get fever. Fever runs high depending on the infection. The body is reacting strongly at this point. However this wouldn't be the case after a long time, the reaction will slow down and the body will fight the infection. Maybe the infection will stay dormant. In a similar way, victimhood continues to exist as long as the infection or source of pain /hurt continues. Since there is no immediate healing, this fever symptoms keep showing. The person keeps venting and whining and throwing off their anger, rage, resentment, grudge or sadness because this is the fever showing itself since the deeper infection /wounds haven't healed yet. When the wounds aren't healed, the person keeps screaming in pain. People assume that it's a fake scream and playing a victim. But it's a scream for help. For real help.. This screaming will only stop when there is healing. Unfortunately a judgmental society does not allow proper healing to take place, some people try to rub salt into the wounds instead of trying to make the person feel better. The victim feels worse than before, this causes some victims to never speak up about their issues in order to avoid harsh judgment and further exacerbation of their wounds. 

It can be found that when there is adequate social support, victims can heal faster. Instead of looking at victims as a potential threat or ego bruising or a burden, it's important to own their status, understand them and work actively with them towards their recovery. And most importantly, not hurt them further by blaming or shaming. 

 

 

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People who hurt others are predatory. They get the thrill out of hurting others. They like doing it because it makes them feel powerful, the more hurt they inflict the better, because the feeling of being powerful is very satisfying. 

When you realize that someone is hurting, whether it's a neighbor or a friend or a boyfriend /girlfriend, understand that such people are a huge waste of your time and you're putting your emotional resource at risk. You are simply allowing yourself to be attacked or mistreated and then healing will be a long road. So the best option is to immediately block people who are hurting you and avoid them forever. 

This way you save a lot of unnecessary time wastage, hurt and pain and damage and negative energy. 

This is the biggest lesson to learn while dealing with toxic individuals whether they appear in your family or in your romantic relationships, wherever such people exist, because they can do more harm, cut your losses, empower yourself, take the higher road and move on in life and live life full. 

Don't give such people the satisfaction that they are winning. Don't let yourself be at the mercy of their judgment. 

Immediately block all contact with such people, ghost them completely and move on and live your happy life. 

Your happiness is for you to claim. Take personal responsibility and ownership of your happiness and not let any moron ruin your happiness for you. Be strong and claim your life back from toxic abusive people and their delusional highness. The power belongs to you and only you and when you are riding the happy wave, nobody will ever be able to hurt you again. 

Work hard on your healing and never allow such people in your life ever again. Learn the lesson and keep it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 4, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The problem with a narcissistic pig (like Joseph) is that they always like to create every situation into winning or losing. 

It's victory or defeat. Because they themselves suffer deep insecurity and low self esteem so their insecure ass always needs to chug down little sips of victory to feel better about themselves. It's the ego satisfaction game for them and soon they get tired of it as well. 

In short they love to create mini wars and act like they are winning these wars. They love to ignite wars. 

In contrast people who are truly loving and empathetic, don't try to create silly little victories and wars, but focus on creating peace and happiness for everyone collectively. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

This is my fairness, my piece of the sufferers pie. This is how much life could be fair to me. 

Just accept it. There are others who suffer even more. What about them? 

They probably get a bigger piece of the pie. 

Wrong things happen. Bad things happen. Betrayals happen. Shit happens. Life happens. 

TSDLYB. Even if you give your all, the streets don't love you back. 

In the end the consolation should be that at least you were fair and sincere and pure. So it's okay, take the higher road and walk away from things and never look back. 

Always remember to surround yourself with pure sincere love and real true friends who care absolutely and never mean to hurt. 

 

[Preety_India]

November 5 is the last day for me. 

 

[Preety_India]

Learning to love myself 

Heart satisfaction versus ego satisfaction 

[Preety_India]

I had such a strange dream last night. 

Both frightening and amazing. 

I saw a huge truck carrying big big barrels driving on the highway. 

There were thud sounds. 

Later in the dream the scene suddenly changed to a couple talking to me about different things. 

They shared food with me and I talked about wall flowers and using artifical potted plants as decoration. 

The husband used some word and I forgot the word.. 

Later I see the couple take me to witness a nearby beach where there's a long bridge that extends into a large ship and when I sit in that boat or ship we start sailing on the turbulent waves and all the water falls on us. 

Next I can see unusual the most unusual sea animals and creatures fascinating creatures that are too huge. Huge jelly fish and big fish jumping out of water. 

I'm too scared. I tell the couple that I need to go back home and I don't want the ocean.. Then I Wake up. 

[tsuki]

Hey, I was wondering how is your healing coming along. 

The dream does indeed sound mesmerizing. Deep water/ocean is the favorite symbol of the unconscious, the giver and taker of all life. Not sure how it works in women though because your unconscious is masculine, Animus.

[Preety_India]

@tsuki I'm still working on my healing. Trying hard to forget my ex. Blocked him that day so he couldn't contact me. 

 

[tsuki]

What has been done can't be taken back, or erased. It can only be seen clearly for what it was. Therein lies freedom.

Repression is dangerous because the unconscious that demands recognition has the power to possess us for its purposes. That is how abusers are oftentimes born.

If it seems like I'm justifying them, it's the opposite. Please be responsible with your psyche. ?

Edited November 6, 2020 by tsuki

[Preety_India]

On 11/6/2020 at 4:47 PM, tsuki said:

What has been done can't be taken back, or erased. It can only be seen clearly for what it was. Therein lies freedom.

Repression is dangerous because the unconscious that demands recognition has the power to possess us for its purposes. That is how abusers are oftentimes born.

If it seems like I'm justifying them, it's the opposite. Please be responsible with your psyche. ?

I absolutely agree. Your support has been awesome in my ordeal.. 

 

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Thewritersunion said:

Here’s a list of propaganda outlets:

 

-CIA

-Blaze TV

-Prager U

-Steven Crowder 

-Infowars

-Rebel News

-Fox News

-Breitbart News

-OAN

-All of Banned Videos

-London Real

-The Daily Wire

 

 

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

That was very useful information. 

I'll stay away from all of these. 

I might add a few more 

Tucker Carlson 

Alex Jones 

Ben Shapiro 

Al Jazeera 

 

 

[RendHeaven]

You got this

[Preety_India]

@RendHeaven what? 

 

[Preety_India]

I have come so far now. It feels so great. 

I can celebrate today as a new day. 

I love how my life is going to turn. 

There are only a few things that I need to be focusing on and then everything will only get better. 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Who says your you? 

who decides who your person will be ?

 

who decides what’s valid?

 

who decides what gender you are ? Who decides what’s real?

 

who decide the meaning of form?

 

Who decides how much something is worth? 

 

who decides your happiness? 

 

who decides what your thinking about and focused on? 

 

 

(objection : but when I have anxiety I’m not in control of that I don’t decide that? Yes You have anxiety that’s not in your control but who is willingly putting their awareness on that fact?)

 

 

who decides what’s going on in the moment

 

who decides your path? 

 

 

don’t put blame on other you made it all 

 

who chose this character? 

 

who built it?

 

who decides beauty?

 

who decides evil?

 

who decides who you listen too? 

 

 

who decides the vibe ?

 

 

 

who decides what entertainment you experience? 

 

 

who chooses the people you surround yourself with? 

 

 

who decides what’s normal 

 

 

 

who says what’s magic 

 

Who decides wether it’s 2 or 1

 

who decides if you’ll be successful 

 

who decides if your god?