Pulling Yourself Through Stuff

[UDT]

Any Tips for these cycles of 

A. I have a goal
B. I work on the goal
(2 months later) --> I get better at X but it doesnt feel significant. 

C. Can I really accomplish this goal? I am just dreaming wasting away time! I should do something else. Fuck youre moving in squares! 

I try to focus myself again but it seems I get like derailed and focusing back in takes energy, and in the end Im like fuck everything, I´ll just die a waste 

I know people say if you truly love it, you´ll stick with it, but everything reaches a point where it sucks so how can you keep pushing? 

[Setzer901]

2 hours ago, UDT said:

Any Tips for these cycles of 

A. I have a goal
B. I work on the goal
(2 months later) --> I get better at X but it doesnt feel significant. 

C. Can I really accomplish this goal? I am just dreaming wasting away time! I should do something else. Fuck youre moving in squares! 

I try to focus myself again but it seems I get like derailed and focusing back in takes energy, and in the end Im like fuck everything, I´ll just die a waste 

I know people say if you truly love it, you´ll stick with it, but ? 

I think it depends how important your goal is. How badly do you desire it? If this goal goes away, would you be at peace? 

Some goals take a lot of time to achieve. You need to be able to push through the monotony, discomfort and frustration with the lack of significant results you're seeing and keep marching ahead. Maybe break the goals into smaller mini goals and celebrate each of your small wins. 

To be honest, it would be helpful if you could let us know more about your goal and what do you mean by the phrase 'everything reaches a point where it sucks so how can you keep pushing' ? 

[Matt23]

What are you really after and wanting?  Why?

Consider improving other areas of life may improve your motivation and make your true goals/motivations/desire more clear.

Also, having new experiences may "enlighten" you as to what you might desire more, from the heart.

Also consider other perspectives on your issue.  Like a more physical, external, or material solutions or blocks.  For example, heavy metal toxicity affecting your motivations, or living in a de-motivating place, etc.

Maybe mix things up a bit if you've be trudging down a road for a while.  

Also, taking breaks and getting rest may help in regenerating your passion.

Learning how to not simply motivate (to me implying a more grinding sort of effort) ,but to inspire yourself (to me implying a more heart-centered or spiritual and deep desire/connection to something).

 

[UKPete]

Some possibilities:

1) Parts of you (unconscious) are not signed up to the goal, and are therefor not contributing or perhaps even sabotaging you.

2) Your expectations of how long it will take to see progress might be unrealistic - I found Darren Hardy's 'The Compound Effect' to be good on this.

3) You aren't measuring progress against an objective standard (ie, you *feel* you're not getting anywhere).

I'm currently reading Lessons In Magic by Philip Carr Gomm, which is good on using different parts of yourself to set and achieve goals.

[Byun Sean]

@UDT

I have some questions for you.

 

What are some of your goals?

Can you describe this feeling of getting better at X but still feels insignificant? 

What do you think is stopping you from having the end result of those goals right now?

What kind of experience are you looking for on the other end of accomplishing those goals?

Lastly. What expectations do you usually when you start working toward your goals?

 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2020 by Byun Sean

[NatureB]

What belief would you have to have in order to get the result you are getting? We get the results our subconscious lets us get. It is possible that you have some nefarious belief sneaking up on you such as "work should not be hard." The belief can be realistic or not.

[UDT]

@UKPete  Damn thats great stuff, definately 1) 2) & 3).  But I guess doubt is always there, I am passionate about three main areas and I pursue all of them since they all kinda flow together. 

@Byun Sean  Thanks man!
 

What are some of your goals?

Im heavily prepping for a test which puts me further into the field of medicine & health. I wanna do that and develop my online presence helping people with their health and nutrition (for real biochemically, not some dogma influencer stuff)

At the same time I love music and some days I end up more training music skills, as I would have the chance to be 1960s pink floyd

I guess I would swap being a musician for being a medical professional, but Im dreaming. Reality is, med is fascinating too, its just not as expressive, but Im trying to do both.
 

Can you describe this feeling of getting better at X but still feels insignificant? 
Just feels Im running in circles, like I am pretending to do something but In fact Im not, just playing around.

What do you think is stopping you from having the end result of those goals right now?
Thats so hard to pinpoint, Im trying to get rid of my limiting beliefs, but I guess deep down I except failure because of the odds or 
maybe because I doubt my ability. 
Maybe thats why I have trouble doing more, I need to do less so my expectation of failure can succeed... ? Does that make sense?

What kind of experience are you looking for on the other end of accomplishing those goals?

Relief of stress, having overcome a huge dragon to go further. Thats the med field. 
For music, I just wanna be a pro, make some dope music and share it. 
 

Lastly. What expectations do you usually when you start working toward your goals?

Its never good enough, always can be better, but at the same time Im not very disciplined, its like I feel bad about my performance on purpose.

Its a negative motivator, because what if I did enough and still failed, that would spike my ego probably.. 

___
U know when I think about these things it somehow always loops back at " Dude shut up analyzing and just do more" I need this as a tattoo..

[Byun Sean]

@UDT

I think I've been through a very similar thing. 

In high school I really wanted to be a pro gamer. I played an rts 1v1 game called starcraft 2 religiously since I was 10.  

I genuinely loved the game with all my heart. I would spend all my time in school contemplating strategies and watching videos for knowledge I could apply to my own games when I got home. I was also very inspired by the pro players not just with their play, but also with their strong personalities. 

I got pretty good at the game but eventually I hit a brick wall skill ceiling at 5000 mmr (matchmaking ranking). I couldn't seem to improve past that no matter how hard I tried.

I wanted to get the skill level of the top pros so bad (~6600-7000 mmr). I genuinely believed that if I got to that skill level that it would be the highest experience of life possible for me as a human being.

It felt like I tried every trick in the book to improve. I tried out different strategies. Played for hours. Watched tutorials. Watched streams. But at the end of the day I always would sink back down to around 5000 mmr. 

I started telling myself things like "Im just not good enough I guess" or "those people who can reach that high rank are just smarter or more talented than me I guess." It felt like I was getting nowhere.

Eventually, I got sick of not seeing any progress causing me to quit the game for a period of time. I thought "if I"m not enjoying playing the game why the hell should I play it in the first place?"

So I focused on my other passions that I wasn't as skilled or experienced in but just to take a break from starcraft and enjoy my time. 

One of my side passions happened to be a genuine interest in psychology and how the human mind works. This eventually led me into exploring meditation which got me thinking that I could use meditation to get better focus for Starcraft. 

Eventually, this led me to Leo's channel and his videos on meditation and enlightenment. One thing led to another and a few years later my entire passion, career, and skillset has been built around something I thought was a side hobby: Spirituality/ psychology/ the human mind.

 

As I was trying to improve at Starcraft 2, I was trying to achieve a certain consequence/ goal which I genuinely believed was something that would make me happy. In the end though, it caused me a lot of stress and resistance despite still enjoying playing the game and having a genuine love for it at the same time.

Contrarily, everyday when I came back home from senior year to meditate and watch actualized videos, it was like a breath of fresh air for me. I was innately curious about the human mind and spirituality and so I never needed to motivate myself ever to take notes watching videos or read a bunch of books/ meditate for hours.

Multiple awakening experiences, meditation retreats, reading tons of books, taking notes later; I realized that deep down the big reason I loved Starcraft so much was that it allowed me to learn about my states of consciousness, how to learn, and the human mind my true passion that at the side I thought was the sidehobby.

Now one might say: "Well if you were good enough you could have reached those higher ranks" 

To that I say: Well, I can see how you might think that but I realize now that even if I got to those high ranks, I would still be fighting among the best of the best leaving me the task of still constantly needing to improve and get better all the time for a living leaving me back at square one.

 

 

So this brings me to my conclusion. If you can find that one thing whatever it may be that you feel like you don't have to get anywhere goal-wise. That thing that even if you were a trillionaire you would still do. That thing that makes you say, "Even if I suck at this and never get anywhere skill wise with this, It's still worth doing because I love it that much."

I feel like a lot of people haven't pinpointed what their true passion is yet because deep down they are bogged down by fear of what will happen if they be their true to themselves.

"I can't do that it doesn't make money in the real world."

"I can't do that people will judge and make fun of me for that."

"I can't do that, I suck at that. I'll never be good enough."

Their passion may be right in front of their nose. But all these thoughts will stop people from even looking in the general direction of their true passion.

 

Anyways this may or may not apply to your situation. But summing up this whole thing the lesson  I learned that helped me on my journey was:

"When you truly find what you love it feels like you never have to push or get anywhere. Simply doing the activity brings you into a higher state of joy and being."

 

[Leo Gura]

Set fewer goals, but bigger, more juicier goals and then latch onto them like a pitbull and never let go until they are actualized.

Without that pitbull attitude, you won't get far. You must be unwilling to yield to failure. Simply refuse to let failure stop you. But for that to work you need a worthwhile goal.