Dealing with family member

[yiyinspired]

Anyone who came across with family member, who just keeps coming up with stuff that just bring not really nice vibe. Someone is just keep creating drama over and over again who can also be pissed off easily. All the people I know at least, anyone who gets along with this personality can be affected innocently. 

It is emotionally challenging for me especially this person is my mother. Thinking back there were difficult, reactive, fear-based responses in involved in the past events. As they supposed there is some sort of duty or respect for family. 

Internally I want to get rid of this chaos, this unnecessary relationship of things. 

What is better for me to do? 

[Nahm]

11 minutes ago, yiyinspired said:

Anyone who came across with family member, who just keeps coming up with stuff that just bring not really nice vibe.

 That’s gonna happen. You can let go of any inclination she is your job to work on. You don’t have to match someone’s vibe to love them.  

You got you’re own, and it rocks. You can not feel good enough to make someone else heal and feel good. They keep the past alive, or they don’t. Same for you. 

Be bold, you are already in the direction of well being. Can’t take anyone with you. 

I agree it is innocent as you said. As innocent as being on a forum talking about her now. Innocent, yet, you can notice where you’re focus is, and thus put it where you want it instead.  Same for her. Suffering in life is the only actual teacher. 

[Loving Radiance]

@yiyinspired Have you got the message from Nahm?

[yiyinspired]

@Nahm @Loving Radiance 

Thank you very much for the love! 

I think I will come back whenever I get misaligned. I want to be fully embodied this.  

[LeoX8]

@yiyinspired I have had and have now in some way this problem with my mum. I found very fearful and aggressive behaviors in her that just made me think of "I just want to leave my house", she really pissed me off.

What I suggest to you is what I found useful to me: 

1. accept her. It will take so much time before she might change and maybe she won't so don't fight her but accept her, just as she is. Try to view things from her point of view also.

2. Spend quality time with her: don't avoid her because she will notice this and will be pissed off by this, so prevent it. Try to talk to her when you are the most positive and "mentally strong" so that her ideas and beliefs won't ifluence you so much. During this time do some "therapy" with her and try to show her how she can solve her problems in calm and friendly way, without impose your ideas to her

hope that this has helped<3

[yiyinspired]

Thank you! 

Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to escape all the chaos. Say no to all the negativity, chaotic situations and people. I am so inspired by uplifting people and things (I think that there is, at least I saw on the internet). Instead I put my energy on creating loving relationship, going to a new place starting with a community that is loving, building a family with love.

[Origins]

@yiyinspired Intelligent boundaries, intelligent understanding and your sense of humour. Things could be worse, I won't make humour in this comment but I'll provoke a hypothetical, imagine the worst person possible now imagine they were your parent. Suddenly things are a little better? How about a little further, now imagine that you really still want to maintain a relationship because well, you love them, which is fine of course, just as long as you've got the intelligent boundaries and intelligent understanding there (type of intelligence of which varies from person to person depending on their potentially negative qualities) otherwise well... I'm not sure what kind of person you've imagined to be the worst possible but let's just agree that things could get pretty bad, so let's take these tricky characteristics of this person in your imagination and try to turn it into a manageable situation for yourself still.

Best 

Edited November 9, 2020 by Origins

[bejapuskas]

On 17. 10. 2020 at 2:24 AM, Loving Radiance said:

Have you got the message from Nahm?

@yiyinspired This is impressive for a new member, usually new members do not understand Nahm x)