Questioning my awakenings

[Javfly33]

If I had so much awakenings, why my ego still tries to maintain a personal character?

If I had so much spiritual realizations, why my ego still usually falls into the same patters of the fake character?

If I had realized so much times that I am not the thoughts, why 99% of the time I keep believing certain thoughts that resonate with certain character/Idea of myself? 

How come If I have realized I am not the ficitonal character, still there´s an enormous amount of energy still concentrated to keep this character alive (I am not meaning the body, but the concept of ME)

Brain chemistry maybe? But truth is truth. How come the ego doesn´t let go still? Any advice?

[Vittorio]

Awakenings have all different degrees, content and impacts, so experiencing awakenings do not directly mean ego dissolution.

A strong ego dissolution can be only obtained through enlightenment or many consecutive strong awakenings.

Total ego dissolution can be obtained only by death.

You still have to have many other awakenings and actively work through enlightenment, if you want to have a further detachment from your identity.

You can do it for example by practicing self inquiry.

Leo has already made a super practical guide here:

Give it a read!

Edited October 15, 2020 by Vittorio

[Chris365]

Ego can be said it is the repeating pattern for energy, if reactions to situations happened a certain way in the past, they  tend to go the same way.

It has some inertia, the pathways took years/decades to form, it will take some time to re-form.

Only a matter of practicing every day , re-enforcing your realizations, and the patterns will slowly change

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

How come If I have realized I am not the ficitonal character, still there´s an enormous amount of energy still concentrated to keep this character alive

Could there not be?

You'll have to spend decades breaking down that character. Awakening will not do that for you. Structure of the mind remain even after awakening, otherwise you'd be dead.

If you can still remember your name, obviously old structures of the mind remain.

[ArchangelG]

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you can still remember your name, obviously old structures of the mind remain.

What does that mean?

I think most enlightened people are aware of their names. Are you suggesting for example that Peter Ralston is not aware that that's his name?

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, ArchangelG said:

What does that mean?

I think most enlightened people are aware of their names. Are you suggesting for example that Peter Ralston is not aware that that's his name?

I am suggesting that basically all awakened teachers are still in limited states of consciousness which maintain their mind's structure for the purposes of survival.

You don't fully appreciate what consciousness is unless you've been in state where you cannot even remember your name. All memory is obviously a limitation of consciousness.

I've been in states where I can access the memories of every being in the universe. Since memory is just imagination. You are not really remembering your name, you are imagining it.

To function in this material plane you must be limited.

[kai0]

your level of thought is higher than your level of awarenes . the human mind works on duality of thought and perseption the more you give to one side the more imbalance you experience and imbalance manifests in many different ways but when it shifts to the side of thoughts mainly as emotions or mind-body complexes to keep the patterns that proved to work well for survival . To let go of the patterns you have to throw your self in the abyss of not knowing and complete unshakeable faith that you will survive regardless of the patterns as long as you believe that the patterns are necessary for survival you will not be able to let them go and you are locked in the materialist paradigm . without that faith you will live in limitation and fear until the day you die (me too) . 

[Javfly33]

17 hours ago, Chris365 said:

Ego can be said it is the repeating pattern for energy, if reactions to situations happened a certain way in the past, they  tend to go the same way.

It has some inertia, the pathways took years/decades to form, it will take some time to re-form.

Only a matter of practicing every day , re-enforcing your realizations, and the patterns will slowly change

It just feels it goes SO slow. 

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Could there not be?

You'll have to spend decades breaking down that character. Awakening will not do that for you. Structure of the mind remain even after awakening, otherwise you'd be dead.

If you can still remember your name, obviously old structures of the mind remain.

@Leo Gura I understand that the basics of those structures should be maintained: I remember my name so I can still live the story of the Character and not suddenly feel I am a dog. Or barack obama.

Yet, if internal knowing that I am Not the character has clearly arised, why a lot of old conditionings and reactions that only serve the character (not just mere survival of the body ) keep being maintained?

 

Edited October 16, 2020 by Javfly33

[VincentArogya]

On 10/16/2020 at 2:35 AM, Javfly33 said:

How come If I have realized I am not the ficitonal character, still there´s an enormous amount of energy still concentrated to keep this character alive (I am not meaning the body, but the concept of ME)

Ego is the sacrifice the Infinite makes to know itself. Don't become hostile toward it. Whenever you fall into egoic patterns and catch yourself, trace your way back to Infinity. Don't assume that enlightened people have no egos, because you don't know. All that you know is what's directly in your experience. 

[Mu_]

@Javfly33  I don't know if I or anyone can answer the question your asking with certainty, but perhaps this shift of perspective can help create some ease in your pursuit and day to day.

It sounds like you may be looking at your awakenings and path from the lens that You are and the ego is not that and its supposed to go away or shouldn't be there.

If this resonates, how about instead of something like that, looking at it like, "You woke up to MORE of what you are, and this thing you label as Ego is apart of that and not an enemy to destroy or should of never been there or should go away".  "Something" is obviously there that your calling Ego, just let it exist and focus your attention on how you want to be or what choices are you making that are not serving you well, and changing those or learning to relax into just being that way.  Because often a lot of what we dont like about ourselves and call Ego, isn't really that much of a problem to anyone else, its just in our own idea that we think its not good or shouldn't be that way.

Any of this make sense?  If not, feel free to ask for clarification.

Also this does not mean you can't explore into depths that require perhaps surrender, none-trying, meditation, psychedelics or pushing with effort, but again, when those things "happen" its  MORE of the infinite dimension of possibility and depth of what You are, not EXACTLY what You are.

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

why a lot of old conditionings and reactions that only serve the character (not just mere survival of the body ) keep being maintained?

For the same reason your crooked teeth stay crooked.

It takes about the same amount of time to straightening your mind as it does to straighten your teeth.

The difference is, your mind is a lot more crooked than your teeth

[cetus]

On 10/15/2020 at 7:48 PM, Leo Gura said:

All memory is obviously a limitation of consciousness.

So why does content even arise within consciousness? Does consciousness some how long to know itself?

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, cetus said:

So why does content even arise within consciousness? Does consciousness some how long to know itself?

LOVE

Because Consciousness cannot help being EVERYTHING.

So here you are.

Imagine that you are the number 8 asking the number 9, "Pssst... Hey, buddy! How come you and I are here in this long assed line?"

Infinity!

[cetus]

So Love is the Big Generator of all experience within consciousness. I likie!

[VeganAwake]

On 10/15/2020 at 2:05 PM, Javfly33 said:

If I had so much awakenings, why my ego still tries to maintain a personal character?

The ego and the sense of 'I' are the same illusion. They both are the result of identification with conditioned thoughts and thought patterns creating the illusory experience of the personal character within the body.

If I had so much spiritual realizations, why my ego still usually falls into the same patters of the fake character?

 Conditioned patterns of thought arise and are being identified with as 'MY' thoughts and are either acted upon or not. Then of course feelings of guilt arise.

If I had realized so much times that I am not the thoughts, why 99% of the time I keep believing certain thoughts that resonate with certain character/Idea of myself? 

Because it's a conditioned pattern and thoughts have been being identified with your entire life as 'MY' thoughts and have been given importance/energy. So of course it would take some time.

How come If I have realized I am not the ficitonal character, still there´s an enormous amount of energy still concentrated to keep this character alive (I am not meaning the body, but the concept of ME)

its the hamster wheel effect/if you feed the cat it keeps coming back.

Brain chemistry maybe? But truth is truth. How come the ego doesn´t let go still? Any advice?

when it's not constantly fed it will slowly start deflating which often isn't noticed right away... but it will be surely recognized when it attempts to re-inflate... I'm sure you've experienced some backlash already ❤ ?

 

Edited October 17, 2020 by VeganAwake

[Leo Gura]

47 minutes ago, cetus said:

So Love is the Big Generator of all experience within consciousness. I likie!

Love IS Consciousness. There cannot be anything else.

[cetus]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Love IS Consciousness. There cannot be anything else.

Been contemplating that heavily. They are not two. 

[VeganAwake]

"The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite"

-- A Course in Miracles

[cetus]

@Leo Gura Contemplating the deeper aspects of Love I find myself strangely unconcerned and without preference. Like that is the original state.

[Javfly33]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

LOVE

Because Consciousness cannot help being EVERYTHING.

So here you are.

Imagine that you are the number 8 asking the number 9, "Pssst... Hey, buddy! How come you and I are here in this long assed line?"

Infinity!

But Love also includes Me getting what I want   (or ... not. ) 

@Mu_ From the ego perspective, it´s difficult to accept a character that you see its not living to its full potential... From God´s perspective it´s totally perfect. And the irony is that I am God. Yet I am not in that state most of the time. So as an ego (the irony) I dont want to accept my ego. ANd that´s Ok...since God loves and sees as perfect too that

@VeganAwake Thanks buddy