The Art of Diplomacy

[Apparition of Jack]

A good summary on what diplomacy is and why it works. I really like the idea of diplomacy, since to me it represents resolving conflicts without resorting to lower emotions. In a sense its the art of the Greater Jihad vs Lesser Jihad, since it requires respect and willingness to be open from all the parties involved. Being good at diplomacy I think is a valuable life skill, because it will help you win alliances and form bonds between competing groups of people who otherwise might not see eye to eye. It can bring peace and progression where there was confusion and conflict before.

[Preety_India]

Can you explain me what this greater jihad and lesser jihad is? What does that phrasing mean? 

 

[Apparition of Jack]

@Preety_India Leo talks about it a bit. "Jihad" is the Islamic conception of "struggle", in the sense you're struggling for God. But there's a greater and lesser version of it - the lesser version is the struggle in the external world, your struggle against other people etc., whereas the greater version, the more important version, is the struggle in the internal world, the struggle against your lower impulses, your ego desires, your biases, your fears, etc.

Someone who's fighting for animal rights but not working on themselves as a person might be engaged in the lesser jihad but not the greater jihad for instance. Whilst animal rights are important, if you're not bothering to see other's points of view and learn and grow as a person then you'll just be an angry person in the world who might get a little bit done but will probably just annoy a lot more people.

[Preety_India]

To be very frank, I'm very conflicted on this topic. 

I don't think true diplomacy is actually possible. Maybe it's a quality of narcissists. It depends on the parties involved. If both are narcissists then it works. But if one of the parties is totally sincere then they can actually figure out all the diplomatic bullshit. Also in real life, everything is not black and white. There are strong egos, survival needs, lack of trust, deep psychological issues and traumas and experiences that color our perceptions and biases, all of it put together means some people just can't get along others no matter however diplomatic they try to be, it will always backfire. Let's say I'm trying to be diplomatic with my friends to get along with them, there will always be a point where I will say to myself "no, I can't do this. I can't support them with this." 

Similarly if I'm trying to be diplomatic with my boss, I might reach a point where his Behavior might cause me to have a fallout with him. 

What I concur is that, through personal experience where I have tried to be extremely diplomatic with several people only to let go in the end and surrender to my true sentiments, is that diplomacy is short term and for certain casual situations, it's not a long term strategy and if used that way, you land in the cross hairs of immorality where going any further means compromising with your own principles and that is not acceptable to honest individuals and that's where you start to back off with your diplomacy and dump it in the fire and just tell the person straight up whatever you felt. Human beings are not designed to get along with each other, because they are guided by selfishness. All that diplomacy is good short term. 

But long term the strategy eventually backfires, this happened with me too many times where I reached a wall or dead end and then I stopped being diplomatic. 

Also a true person does not want that diplomacy and sooner or later they walk away from the deal or relationship. I do the same when I see someone being too diplomatic. 

It takes away the essence of genuineness. It's okay if someone is not fighting the greater jihad, as long as they are authentic they can be forgiven. 

 

[Opo]

@Preety_India Oh you sneaky diplomat. 

"Don't sell your soul short

https://www.actualized.org/.forum/topic/555444-stage-pink/ Our commitment to be positive and to do good should be so strong that it will drown out all forces in the world."

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Let's say I'm trying to be diplomatic with my friends to get along with them, there will always be a point where I will say to myself "no, I can't do this. I can't support them with this." 

I think you're mistaken about diplomacy. 

If your friends wanted to do something immoral which you couldn't support and you were a diplomatic person you would try to get the best possible outcome and not just support them for your selfish reasons. 

Let's say an average person would just tell their friends don't do that that's bad. But a diplomat would understand that most people don't respond well to that and they would find a better way to approach this situation. 

I think Forestluv is a perfect diplomat. 

[Gidiot]

Diplomacy is possible, but you can’t bullshit it, it has to be genuine.