Expressing myself

[ALPHA907]

Hello everyone,

I’m coming across this issue of being able to express how I feel and the changes that are happening to me. I realize I’m only a teenager but here are some thoughts.

- Fed up with how my parents only talk about immediate needs like food or entertainment

- Complaining about little things or condemning people

Those are the main two.

I would prefer for these traits to not rub off on me.

I’ve tried to distance myself somewhat but then they get upset and it’s hard to find community elsewhere that I can physically interact with. 

I’m not sure how much or how I express any of this to them.

I’ve started cleaning up my diet and expressed to them when they eat out that I’ll come along but not participate in terms of the eating part.

I would appreciate any advice or video of Leo’s that I’m not aware of.

Thanks so much.

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Don't interact much with them. Keep a journal to be more expressive. 

Do a ton of socializing for fast growth. 

 

Talk to like minded people. 

 

[ALPHA907]

@Preety_India Thanks, I am currently keeping a journal and I’m currently on a trip right now and it’s just not that interesting to them but I don’t know how to explain that I’m interested in self improvement and learning.

[Preety_India]

@ALPHA907 no need to explain them.. You continue with your journey okay, that's important. Best of luck. You'll do great. 

[ALPHA907]

@Preety_India Ok, thanks I‘ll continue to try my best. Good luck on your journey as well.

[Oliver Saavedra]

Oh man, i feel this so close to my own experience, here's my advice:

1. Find out if you are an introvert, we have a WAY different form of socializing and expressing and connecting with people, and because we feel weird around others we usually blame ourselves or feel guilt for not being able to interact with others (or just not wanting to) 

Check Susan Cain's book "Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" 

To express yourself you need to understand who you are and honor it, to accept yourself fully and be comfortable in your own skin

Also check Brene Brown's talks and books on vulnerability,  shame, authenticity, courage etc. That's GOLD for self-expression, for it is completely an emotional endeavor which we are often repressing. 

2. Check your speaking habits, your dialogue form, the tone you use to express to others and also in your inner dialogue (the one in yout head), all the anxieties, stage fright, and so on. Just do a self-research of it, journal about it, that alone is gonna take you to a whooole process of finding yourself and finding your voice. 

Much Love ❤️

 

 

[aurum]

@ALPHA907

A strange part of being alive right now is that the younger generation is more spiritual attuned than the older generations. Whereas previously we might have sought wisdom from the elders, some of that dynamic has flipped in modern society. That sounds like what you're experiencing.

I've definitely struggled to have a good relationship with my parents, who are pretty cliche Blue / Orange. At times I simply had to separate myself from them because I didn't know any other way where I could still be myself.

As far as your situation, I usually encourage open communication. But this can be a tough conversation to have. If you feel ready, than it might be a good idea. If not, it might be best to keep those critiques to yourself for now.

[ALPHA907]

Thanks for your suggestions guys. I'll definitely make sure to journal and think about this more.

And aurum, I have expressed some of this to them I just don't want to ruin their fun. I know nothing would come out of me telling my dad to not watch TV for example.

 

[kag101]

On 10/10/2020 at 5:57 PM, ALPHA907 said:

I’ve started cleaning up my diet

What have you changed?

24 minutes ago, ALPHA907 said:

I know nothing would come out of me telling my dad to not watch TV for example.

Exactly.

 

Do you like them in general?

 

[ALPHA907]

I've changed to a mostly plant-based diet. I still have whey every day which I would love to change to pea protein but that has glyphosate. I would much rather get acne than cancer so if it were to ever happen. But mostly whole foods there are just a few things here and there. 

Yes, I love my parents a lot. They have done a lot for me, I just really dislike some of their habits and I want to make sure I keep the consciousness to recognize it's not good and not go down the same path.

[Aquarius]

You don't need to please your parents by talking about what they like. You can freely talk about what you like too. Just do it in a non-aggressive way. If your parents only and only talk about satisfying immediate needs and entertainment, you can show them ways to the higher needs in an entertaining way. Have the Maslow hierarchy in your mind. Your parents are probably at the lower stages. Think about ways to bring knowledge to them about higher possibilities. But don't actually show the hierarchy of needs lol. Just use it in your mind.

For example there are hundreds of thousands of different kind of youtubers, talking about so many great topics. They each have a style. Maybe you find a style that may resonate with them, and show it to them. Or show them self help videos that are entertaining or funny. Basic self-help that people with lower kind of needs watch.

Remember that you cannot change your parents. And you cannot force them to do what you want them to do. You mention they won't eat like you do. I mean, it's their body so it's their choice. Yes, I understand that you want to help them, but for that they need to want to get helped. But they seem to not care about these things. Maybe they don't need your help. Think about that for a minute. 

But what you can do is make them understand you. You could share documentaries with them about the cruel way food producers produce food. Research the topic thoroughly. Have good points that also resonate with them and their views.

And again, remember that change will happen when they want it to happen. Because they have their own life, their own views. Respect their views, even if their views on life are total bs. Try to enlighten, rather than ignite change. The knowledge you give them should ignite change on its own, but you don't have to change them. It is NOT your responsibility to save them. They have to save themselves. Everyone has to work out their own salvation.

Take care not to turn your desire for change and desire for a good life into a need to manipulate others into your way of living. You are an individual, and they are too, they are not less than you just because they don't follow modern views on nutrition or lifestyle. Don't try to manipulate them into believing in what you believe. Don't try to manipulate them at all. Let go of the need to manipulate. You can enlighten, but change is up to them.

You said you are a teenager, so you depend on them financially. Ask yourself: Do I want to change my parents to better suit my needs, or for them to provide better care for me?... I know this is an ugly question, but you really need to make a difference between wanting to help a human for them to have a better life (selfless help), and wanting to help a human so they can with the help of the new information help you better (ego).

If you ever try to help your parents, do it so they have a chance for a better life, do it for enlightening them, do it for the animals in the food industry, but never do it to just feel better about your life. Soon you'll be on your own anyway, and then it won't matter what your parents think or the way they live. Because you'll have your own life. Focus on your own life too not just on changing others for your needs. Become independent financially if you want better options for socializing and groups with similar interests. Most people who can provide you value are already financially independent, so you should work towards that too. 

[from chaos into self]

Try not to judge your parents. Their habits don’t make them bad people or anything. They are as they are; accept them as they are.

 

 This “I don’t like their habits” sounds like judgement. Unless you’re just saying that their hobbies aren’t yours? But saying that their habits are bad or wrong is not the way to go. 

[from chaos into self]

Expressing disapproval can be challenging. Simply stating your opinion is all you can do. You can’t expect them to like it, agree with it, or change. If you’re not willing to state your opinion than be silent and accept them as they are. True acceptance of others is healthy. It’s not your business to better them. Take your best guess on what is okay to speak up about and what’s not. 

[ALPHA907]

@Aquarius @from chaos into self I've been trying to focus on myself and not change them. I realize it might just confuse them if I start talking about higher consciousness things. Not to say that my parents are dumb, they understand some green level concepts they just don't embody it because they are at blue.