Feeling bad from being a bit of a drama queen, love some new perspectives

[Adamq8]

@electroBeam Ah i see, well i would recommend alot of meditation and letting go practice, from thoughts, and train awareness on thoughts but distance your self from it as it arises, after a while you can notice your triggers in the body and mind, what thought trigger what feeling and so forth, feels like you got tricked by a long train of thought and then you forgot and it kept building and manifesting as a physical illness but it was all in the mind, been there done that, it is easy to get carried away and then forgot it began as a thought 

[electroBeam]

@Adamq8 thanks good suggestion. 

[Mu_]

2 hours ago, electroBeam said:

@Mu_ Thanks! Some tug of war arised from the need to be self responsible and try my best to achieve happiness and therefore actively aiming for something and avoiding something else vs the realization of infinity and how that includes and fully accepts both what I'm aiming for and not aiming for. 

Ya if your still open to this practice stick with it for a period, and let me know what comes up.  Its really healthy to look at whats scary about behind "doership", such as responsibility, pressure, feeling responsible and thus perhaps obligated to suffer for getting "doership" wrong or right....   Also its really helpful to realize that doership doesnt conflict with chaos, surrender, nondoership.  But none of this will make sense if one just clings to non-doership, particularly if its done when they are just hiding from the idea's behind what they think it means.   Let me know if this makes sense....  you could almost say what I'm saying is "doership" and "nondoership" are just mind idea's.  There's a healthy functioning of happening that is not either, but experiences arise that "feel" like either. hahahaha......

[electroBeam]

18 minutes ago, Mu_ said:

Ya if your still open to this practice stick with it for a period, and let me know what comes up.  Its really healthy to look at whats scary about behind "doership", such as responsibility, pressure, feeling responsible and thus perhaps obligated to suffer for getting "doership" wrong or right....   Also its really helpful to realize that doership doesnt conflict with chaos, surrender, nondoership.  But none of this will make sense if one just clings to non-doership, particularly if its done when they are just hiding from the idea's behind what they think it means.   Let me know if this makes sense....  you could almost say what I'm saying is "doership" and "nondoership" are just mind idea's.  There's a healthy functioning of happening that is not either, but experiences arise that "feel" like either. hahahaha......

@Mu_ Yeah that's great advice. I like the you are both the doer and non doer. If you can't control the dream, then you're not in control. But maybe you are. Maybe its actually possible to be self responsible and do stuff without an I thought or identity. Maybe you can just do stuff as consciousness. Like doing stuff headlessly as consciousness. I've never thought about that before but it seems to be working lol.

 

[Mu_]

9 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@Mu_ Yeah that's great advice. I like the you are both the doer and non doer. If you can't control the dream, then you're not in control. But maybe you are. Maybe its actually possible to be self responsible and do stuff without an I thought or identity. Maybe you can just do stuff as consciousness. Like doing stuff headlessly as consciousness. I've never thought about that before but it seems to be working lol.

 

I sometimes like to call it organic origination.  It can be incredibly freeing for some because it just cuts through the game of trying to be a "non-doer" or gives back permission to a part of "actuality" to function freely.  Sometimes when one goes down the rabbit hole of constantly trying to keep this false idea going that they are not the doer and all the lingo that comes with it and all the things it means about them (usually feeling like they are now more enlightened and if they were to face they are not, it would bring them crashing back down to being an EGO, lol or some other word, and face to face with the feelings around the idea's of being a doer).  Another aspect of this is one found great freedom in understanding an aspect of non-doership and unconsciously adopted a new dogma in which if they were to question it would ruin what they felt they gained by understanding "nondoership".

[electroBeam]

@Mu_  I tried being the non doer, but I kept doing stuff. Including being the non doer. But spiritual teachers were saying you're meant to feel like you're the non doer. Refreshing perspective to hear that you can just chuck all that shit away.