Leo's toxic rhetoric and an inner conflict

[Martin123]

I’ll even admit, I’ve called people names, taken my insecurities on others, manipulated, pressured, insulted and attacked others people in my life.

 

Hands in the air, ‘‘twas me father for i have sinned’

 

that is because in the past I was in great amounts of pain that was yet to be healed. I haven’t always been so sure of myself that I felt like I can only positively contribute. It was a long and exhausting process of pain, death, rebirth and surrender until the light that I am started leaking through my words, choices and actions. 
 

and now I’m here. Almost feeling as if I could do no wrong, without being arrogant or narcissistic about it.

 

and if I’ve done wrong, SHOW me, and if it was wrong in any way, I will make it right. 

[Preety_India]

 

@SirVladimir  you can see the post above.

Also the point I was trying to make was that vulnerable people cannot be on this forum. Because they have a totally different threshold for sensitivity and trigger.. For which they shouldn't be blamed or expected to compromise because it's not their fault that they were abused. Their abuse has made them sensitive to judgment, what they need is support and kindness and caring

.but if they come here, judgement is all they get. They are made to look like there is something lacking in them when the reality is that they need someone to make them feel better. This is important to their recovery. 

And judging them will only make their situation worse.. 

Yet this is not something that I need to say. 

This is so obvious and I thought that a forum with so spiritual people (half of them are new agey spiritual psycho-babble saintly acting projecting toxic positivity people who love to take pride in making spiritual platitudes in how saintly and great they are and yet their advice is not all pragamtic and not helpful in the least) 

This has nothing to do with the dating section however 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Preety_India

[DrewNows]

I felt it was a projection on me so I walked away @Martin123

I encourage you to take responsibility 

 

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

 

@SirVladimir  you can see the post above.

Also the point I was trying to make was that vulnerable people cannot be on this forum. Because they have a totally different threshold for sensitivity and trigger.. For which they shouldn't be blamed or expected to compromise because it's not that they were abused. Their abuse has made them sensitive to judgment, what they need is support and kindness and caring

.but if they come here, judgement is all they get. They are made to look like there is something lacking in them when the reality is that they need someone to make them feel better. This is important to their recovery. 

And judging them will only make their situation worse.. 

Yet this is not something that I need to say. 

This is so obvious and I thought that a forum with so spiritual people (half of them are new agey spiritual psycho-babble saintly acting projecting toxic positivity people who love to take pride in making spiritual platitudes in how saintly and great they are and yet their advice is not all pragamtic and not helpful in the least) 

This has nothing to do with the dating section however 

 

 

I second this. 

[Nahm]

On 10/12/2020 at 6:28 AM, Martin123 said:

bro can you please start a thread to weep about your own problems?

If I said this there’d be riots! lol. 

[DrewNows]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

@SirVladimir  you can see the post above.

Also the point I was trying to make was that vulnerable people cannot be on this forum. Because they have a totally different threshold for sensitivity and trigger.. For which they shouldn't be blamed or expected to compromise because it's not that they were abused. Their abuse has made them sensitive to judgment, what they need is support and kindness and caring

.but if they come here, judgement is all they get. They are made to look like there is something lacking in them when the reality is that they need someone to make them feel better. This is important to their recovery. 

And judging them will only make their situation worse.. 

Yet this is not something that I need to say. 

This is so obvious and I thought that a forum with so spiritual people (half of them are new agey spiritual psycho-babble saintly acting projecting toxic positivity people who love to take pride in making spiritual platitudes in how saintly and great they are and yet their advice is not all pragamtic and not helpful in the least) 

This has nothing to do with the dating section however 

 

 

Perhaps it is what they need. I would jokingly ask what’s the difference between abusive healing and healing abuse,

it’s chosen in the process of self honesty and love, the great divide 

Edited October 13, 2020 by DrewNows

[Preety_India]

 

Just now, DrewNows said:

Perhaps it is what they need. I would jokingly ask what’s the difference between abusive healing and healing abuse,

it’s chosen in the process of self honesty and love 

Vulnerable people don't need judgement. They need kindness, support, validation of their pain and healing 

Of course they can be pushed to betterment by telling them to take personal responsibility. 

But think. They are not really in the state of taking personal responsibility. Or else they would have. We need each other as much as we may act like we are independent. 

 

. This needs to be considered. 

Telling a person to take personal responsibility is very easy. But that should not be the only way to help someone. 

Adding kindness is also needed. 

Isn't growing empathy the main part of being spiritual? 

 

[kai0]

7 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

and if I’ve done wrong, SHOW me, and if it was wrong in any way, I will make it right. 

people did that over and over again but you refuse to see . you disagree as if nothing has value except your perspective . that known as closed mind please dont get triggered now Im saying this to help without patriarchal pressure like you demonstrated on others like @DrewNows

[Martin123]

Just now, Nahm said:

If I said this there’d be riots! lol. 

But isn’t this true, this is my thread about pretty significant issues, if someone starts weeping in a place where I weep, I don’t have enough space to weep out what I wanted to weep out (yes it’s a word, I just decided lol). 
 

what he posted was so far off topic and irrelevant that setting that boundary was necessary, even if I set it in a harsh way.

i am not always 100% lovey dovey with everyone because I prefer being real. I used to be much more lovey dovey because I was overcompensating for fear of intimacy and authenticity.

 

ps, I meant no disrespect when I said the only reason we are speaking is because you’re a mod and I can’t block you. Because the two of us have obviously a hard time getting along blocking each other is the best option, I cannot block you and you quoting me is violating our agreement Of you not engaging with me anymore. This isn’t done out of hatred but out of the respect for the personal space we both need to be our best selves outside of each other’s realities.

 

I don’t know if you can as a mod but my suggestion would be for you to block me in the honour of our individualities.

 

i don’t personally love that you’ve broken your promise of no longer interacting with me by quoting me again.  

[Martin123]

Just now, kai0 said:

people did that over and over again but you refuse to see . you disagree as if nothing has value except your perspective . that known as closed mind please dont get triggered now Im saying this to help without patriarchal pressure like you demonstrated on others like @DrewNows

No one said anything specific that I’m aware of, I’ve been accused of dismissal and abuse. I would like to see concrete instances of where I’ve done that.

 

youre just accusing me of stuff without giving specific details. How could I take that seriously lol.

 

if the case is what Nahm just quoted, that was a boundary. Admittedly a little rough around the edges, yet I’m not responsible for the problems of other people when I’m resolving something of my own, it was a distraction and it was quite an aggressive one, and I did not care for that. 

[Someone here]

Pfffff

[kai0]

4 hours ago, Martin123 said:

I’ve gotta say there are communities that I’ve joined (as simple as Facebook groups), and the tonality of the conversations is way more kind, respectful and inclusive for everyone. It is dedicated to the well-being of one another.

 

here the emphasis is more on whether the things someone says are ‘true’, rather than helpful, kind and inspiring unity consciousness.
 

If we are overly focused on what’s true rather than whether the way something is conveyed is helpful and supportive to someone else, we are missing the point of what it means to communicate in a healing way with another human being.

 

Truth is subjective, but the way we feel about the words being spoken and the feelings they inspire in our bodies are always objectively right for each of us. 

and then now you say this

6 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

But isn’t this true, this is my thread about pretty significant issues, if someone starts weeping in a place where I weep, I don’t have enough space to weep out what I wanted to weep out (yes it’s a word, I just decided lol). 
 

what he posted was so far off topic and irrelevant that setting that boundary was necessary, even if I set it in a harsh way.

i am not always 100% lovey dovey with everyone because I prefer being real. I used to be much more lovey dovey because I was overcompensating for fear of intimacy and authenticity.

to me it looks like a double standard but you allow your self to be biased no problem 

[Martin123]

@kai0 dude there was a guy who just came to the thread to talk to a mod about getting a warning instead of sending a message. You can’t possibly compare the two lol

What’s more the mod wasn’t even posting in the thread before he posted here.

what he did was also against forum guidelines which is what annanata said 

[Nahm]

20 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

No one said anything specific that I’m aware of, I’ve been accused of dismissal and abuse. I would like to see concrete instances of where I’ve done that.

“bro can you please start a thread to weep about your own problems?“

23 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

But isn’t this true, this is my thread about pretty significant issues, if someone starts weeping in a place where I weep, I don’t have enough space to weep out what I wanted to weep out (yes it’s a word, I just decided lol). 
 

what he posted was so far off topic and irrelevant that setting that boundary was necessary, even if I set it in a harsh way.

i am not always 100% lovey dovey with everyone because I prefer being real. I used to be much more lovey dovey because I was overcompensating for fear of intimacy and authenticity.

 

ps, I meant no disrespect when I said the only reason we are speaking is because you’re a mod and I can’t block you. Because the two of us have obviously a hard time getting along blocking each other is the best option, I cannot block you and you quoting me is violating our agreement Of you not engaging with me anymore. This isn’t done out of hatred but out of the respect for the personal space we both need to be our best selves outside of each other’s realities.

 

I don’t know if you can as a mod but my suggestion would be for you to block me in the honour of our individualities.

 

i don’t personally love that you’ve broken your promise of no longer interacting with me by quoting me again.  

Rationalization.

You make comments about me on threads, when I didn’t mention you at all. Then I reply to you, and you make a point to say you didn’t even read my reply. This way there can be no communication about what was said. 

Then you say the problem is that I make comments to you, as you attack my character and make accusations about me. Then when I reply you call it abuse, and try to block it. Pretty much everyone else sticks to the subject at hand and discusses their points. You’re essentially making false accusations from one side of a duality, believing what was said implies the other side, and then ‘blocking’ all possibilities of seeing what you’re doing.

 

[Preety_India]

 

What about the horrible abuse that mod Miss Ananta faced on the forum

I saw many disgruntled forum members who started complaining about her and using very aggressive language against her. Is that okay? 

Now she doesn't want to be a mod anymore. There was a member who went all over the forum calling her horrible abusive names. 

Mod duty is not at all easy, especially as a female on the forum.. 

People take quick shots at the mod. But nobody tries to be in her shoes and understand how she felt when attacked. 

If she is a mod, it's obviously her job to give warnings to anyone who is being excessively hostile or abusive. Why are some members retaliating this. Do you want this place to be more hostile.. 

If you cannot even have an average amount of Decency how to talk to a person, without being aggressive and abusive and judgmental, maybe you're not here to become a more conscious person. 

 

[kai0]

@Martin123 not comparing anything just following through your inconsistencys . when something is about you everyone needs to listen and be soft and feminine but you are allowed to be harsh .  Im sorry but seems to me like your too unaware of your biases and in denial that you could ever be wrong . you only question others but not your self . idk just blatant refusal of turning inwards . thats lesser jihad trying to correct every one except your self

[Martin123]

Very well, i think I’m leaving this forum.

 

wishing everyone well, also pointing out that @Nahm Abuses his invulnerability  to be blocked by others.

 

Wishing  everyone Peace and resolve. 

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Very well, i think I’m leaving this forum. 

Nooooooooooooooooooo

You was a great example of projecting one's own shit onto others. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Someone here

[kai0]

22 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Pfffff

lets take this childish comment for example . what kind of restriction would you like to apply for such violation ??

[Preety_India]

 

1 minute ago, kai0 said:

lets take this childish comment for example . what kind of restriction would you like to apply for such violation ??

This is not the average man's spirituality. This is the millionaire's spirituality. 

There are double standards.