Leo's toxic rhetoric and an inner conflict

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

@DrewNows I’m certainly not going to debate over this Drew.

 

Well you see that is because we have a different threshold for what abuse is and isn’t, I perceive calling oneself an idiot as self-abuse, because it is a deliberate verbal attack on your persona.

You insulted someone too not so long ago Martin ?

You can only resent what you have in you ???

Edited October 13, 2020 by Shin

[DrewNows]

Just now, Martin123 said:

You’re using non-dual ideas to justify your fear of commitment. 
no need to play sharrades about how enlightened we are when we’re just scared to commit.

i use my own experience.

[Martin123]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

You insulted someone too not so long ago Martin ?

You can only resent what you have in you ???

Please remind me who and what I’d love to read more about it , be direct with me rather than passive aggressively say things about me thanks! 

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Please remind me who and what I’d love to read more about it , be direct with me rather than passive aggressively say things about me thanks! 

See that's what I'm talking about ?

You think I'm passive agressive with you, when in fact I'm full of love with you.

Just want you to see that being negative and feeling amazing at the same time is impossible, that's all ?

[Martin123]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

See that's what I'm talking about ?

You think I'm passive agressive with you, when in fact I'm full of love with you.

Just want you to see that being negative and feeling amazing at the same time is impossible, that's all ?

Let me get this straight.

you say I’ve insulted someone without directly saying who and what you have in mind, then you put a bunch of smiley faces, and then you have the audacity to say you’re not passive aggressive ?

 

bro! Come on ? I’m an extremely positive person, and I’m positively feeling about how honestly speaking up and sharing about how things are will only have a positive effect on everyone here. 
 

I honestly want you to share, if I was at fault apology from me would be nice and welcomed wouldn’t it, if I’m not I can explain myself...

[kai0]

21 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

You’re using non-dual ideas to justify your fear of commitment. 
no need to play sharrades about how enlightened we are when we’re just scared to commit.

just tell me how this is not abuse

accusing another person of being inauthantic without evidence but just groundless assumption which equal projection 

i am almost sure if that phrase was directed at you you will say its abuse

[Martin123]

Just now, kai0 said:

just tell me how this is not abuse

Abuse would be ‘you’re using no dual ideas to justify fear of commitment, and that makes you a horrible human being and you’re wrong for being alive’..

 

to say how you see things when you see them clearly is not abusive in any shape or form , it’s just not codependent. 

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Let me get this straight.

you say I’ve insulted someone without directly saying who and what you have in mind, then you put a bunch of smiley faces, and then you have the audacity to say you’re not passive aggressive ?

 

bro! Come on ? I’m an extremely positive person, and I’m positively feeling about how honestly speaking up and sharing about how things are will only have a positive effect on everyone here. 
 

I honestly want you to share, if I was at fault apology from me would be nice and welcomed wouldn’t it, if I’m not I can explain myself...

It's some page before this one, or the one before I don't know exactly.

It's not important, what's important is that you're complaining about something you do yourself.

And again this is not to blame or correct you at all, just to put the finger on something you might want to look upon ?

[Martin123]

3 minutes ago, kai0 said:

i am almost sure if that phrase was directed at you you will say its abuse

Well that’s nice, I wouldn’t but you’re free to think that haha  

 

if you say something and someone gets triggered you’re not abusing them, you’re standing for your truth, you’re committing to your experience 

[Martin123]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's not important, what's important is that you're complaining about something you do yourself.

Then give me a direct example oh my god dude I don’t wanna bang my head against the wall here, just show me what I said you found insulting and We can move this conversation along, please don’t expect me to break down into inferiority complex just because you don’t Like the things I say.

[Akemrelax]

@Martin123 I can’t help but notice that while you accuse others of being toxic and dismissive of you, you yourself have made comments in this thread that are dismissive and rude. I have seen you miss judge other’s intentions when they criticize you quite a few time.

BTW, I agree that when presenting a different POV a couple of members can pile up on you. There seems to be a comradely between some old members where they come to each other’s defence. The mods don’t argue too much with Leo but that’s fine, it’s their opinion. I also find sometimes people can get away with saying rude stuff if they happen to be expressing opinions that Leo generally agrees with (Left wing, progressive opinions). Also, I find a great many people are not open to getting their ideas scrutinized, so I’m very careful who I respond back to because most of the time they don’t take constructive criticism.

I still think this is an amazing community despite its flaws. Some of the flaws are unavoidable due to human error. We should appreciate that it exists at all, I don’t know any other place where spirituality is discussed in such openness and detail.

Edited October 13, 2020 by Akemrelax

[Guest SirVladimir]

I would be curious about examples of abuse, too, as @electroBeam took the words right out of my mouth.

When I came here in 2017, my ego got absolutely rekt. Since then, I have practiced my butt off. Truth cannot be abused; and the notion of it, to me, has started to fade like a rose's petals. People are trying to express Love, however twisted and hurtful their life's paths are, and this forum, same as life itself, is nothing but an endless staircase teaching you how to Love.

A forum needs to be managed, of course.

And its members, preferably, need to spend more time in trenches rather than pointing to a mental map.

You have a good heart, @Preety_India, with a caring touch. Yet there is far more knowledge beyond Green; and swimming through it head-on while the ego drowns in projections about abuse will hurt like hell. If you are feeling resistance to this paragraph, well, there you go. Maybe spend less time here. Perhaps you are referring to incongruence with the Dating section? I can relate to you somewhat, for I am more of a tantra dude, so I do not go there much anyway.

In case this thread gets locked again soon, everyone ought to remember an online forum is not an escape. One should take the core of the advice and run with it if they are feeling abused. The more humble you are; the more you shrink the ego, the more clearly it is revealed how selfless the advice of the people are. @Nahm is a freaking beast - as one example - yet I have noticed he is sometimes accused of being abusive/lashing out fear.

@Martin123 My brother, just sit for a while in silence. Let whatever storm beclouding the mind pass. You will find yourself on a tranquil sea. There is nothing to be gained in this discussion.

Edited October 13, 2020 by SirVladimir

[Pallero]

Personally I haven't experienced much abuse on this forum. I don't post a lot, and when I do, my posts are often ignored. I don't know why. Maybe they don't make sense to people or maybe I'm not being edgy or confrontational enough.

But I have seen many many many cases of abuse towards others. Once or twice I've pointed this out, but again, I've been ignored.

This forum is just not for me. I mostly come here only when I'm feeling self-hating and depressed. Then I click open any thread to read someone being abusive and it gives me an emotional release. I get angry. Sometimes it gives me empowerment. That's it. In the beginning I saw good and interesting resources here, but not anymore.

[Martin123]

3 minutes ago, Akemrelax said:

 

@Martin123 I can’t help but notice that while you accuse others of being toxic and dismissive of you, you yourself have made comments in this thread that are dismissive and rude. I have seen you miss judge other’s intentions when they criticize you quite a few time.

 

Thank you for your feedback. Please be specific. When I pointed out Leo’s behaviour, I was specific, until you’re specific  with me I have nothing to work with.

 

thank you kindly.

[Martin123]

9 minutes ago, Pallero said:

Personally I haven't experienced much abuse on this forum. I don't post a lot, and when I do, my posts are often ignored. I don't know why. Maybe they don't make sense to people or maybe I'm not being edgy or confrontational enough.

But I have seen many many many cases of abuse towards others. Once or twice I've pointed this out, but again, I've been ignored.

This forum is just not for me. I mostly come here only when I'm feeling self-hating and depressed. Then I click open any thread to read someone being abusive and it gives me an emotional release. I get angry. Sometimes it gives me empowerment. That's it. In the beginning I saw good and interesting resources here, but not anymore.

Believe it or not I intimately understand your experience, you may be someone who gets overwhelmed by the emotional experiences of others and I wanna validate and confirm your frustrations, anxieties, hang ups and depression and sadness. It is all within you and you deserve to be seen and heard in it’s full glory.

 

believe it or not everything you feel is your contribution to the healing of the collective and on behalf of humanity I wanna congratulate and thank you for everything you’ve done and continue doing on a daily basis, one feeling/thought/fatigue/frustration at a time.

 

much love and all the best ❤️??

Edited October 13, 2020 by Martin123

[Preety_India]

 

Abuse is such a thing that it doesn't necessarily have to be intentional. It depends a lot on the psych profile of an individual. Someone with narcissistic traits can abuse others without intent or without any realization that they're abusing others.. 

I have seen a lot of people project on others. Someone who is genuinely seeking help is called victim playing. I feel like the forum is a good place for normal average self help seekers who are the stage orange type looking to excel in life through discussions. 

Yet it is not a very good place for someone who is at low point in life and needs some real kind words and support. This forum can be very dangerous for those people. Now they are also looking for self help but coming here totally naked and vulnerable can be very risky. They might be of the naive opinion that this forum has a spirituality section so there must be loving kind empathetic spiritual people on here. But that's not the case. 

When such a vulnerable person opens up about their psychological state and issues, they can be called liars or they could be gaslighted, victim shamed and victim blamed instead of being given support and kindness. They could be projected on. 

A very good case in point. Go to the Emotional Section and see the abuse of User Mikael89.. And you'll know what I mean 

He was being called a liar and many people taking shots at him and calling him a victim player. 

Not showing him a drop of empathy. Maybe he is going through a tough time after his breakup. Maybe he is not lying. 

 

 

 

 

He even said that he was suicidal. That actually shows how vulnerable he is. 

. In that state forum members should have been empathetic to him. But they gaslighted him making him the source of his own problems. 

 

That's one example of abuse of vulnerable persons. 

 

There are many examples. There is always a problem of projection and mild gaslighting on the forum that nobody addresses. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Preety_India

[seeking_brilliance]

sometimes the garden weeds itself, sometimes a hand is needed. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by seeking_brilliance

[kai0]

36 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Abuse would be ‘you’re using no dual ideas to justify fear of commitment, and that makes you a horrible human being and you’re wrong for being alive’..

 

to say how you see things when you see them clearly is not abusive in any shape or form , it’s just not codependent. 

alright so lets say I told you your using anti abuse narrative to justify fear of turning inwards . you will agree??? 

[Pallero]

14 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

Believe it or not I intimately understand your experience, you may be someone who gets overwhelmed by the emotional experiences of others and I wanna validate and confirm your frustrations, anxieties, hang ups and depression and sadness. It is all within you and you deserve to be seen and heard in it’s full glory.

 

believe it or not everything you feel is your contribution to the healing of the collective and on behalf of humanity I wanna congratulate and thank you for everything you’ve done and continue doing on a daily basis, one feeling/thought/fatigue/frustration at a time.

 

much love and all the best ❤️??

Thank you!

[Martin123]

1 minute ago, kai0 said:

alright so lets say I told you your using anti abuse narrative to justify fear of turning inwards . you will agree??? 

I will not agree, but you’re entitled to your opinion and as such I honor your perspective and thank you for expressing it in a non-aggressive way, as confronting aggression is still something I can struggle with.

 

just because I disagree doesn’t mean I’m abusing you come on we can’t be that codependent

2 minutes ago, Pallero said:

Thank you!

you’re much welcome !  ?

 

 

 

ps guys yall saying how insensitive and abusive I am, coool gimme specifics I’m not scared to confront it all.