Leo's toxic rhetoric and an inner conflict

[Martin123]

This also rings true that if our spiritual practices don’t inspire and allow us to treat each other better and more respectfully, their effectiveness and usefulness is in question.

[Ananta]

5 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

Well, you have to get the mods somewhere. As far as I know, they don't get paid. It is basically charity from their part. 

I agree for the most part though.

Yep, it's charity work. You try to follow the guidelines and warnings that have been set out for you to enforce, but you best be prepared to deal with backlash and being harassed by disgruntled forum members for enforcing anything. Especially as a female mod. Prior to this thread I've been considering quitting. Sometimes its just not worth it. 

 

[Martin123]

Let’s not turn this into a thread against mods by the way, a lot of what mods do is amazing and they’re great people. Just putting this out there, only because they have seeming authority does not make them ‘the bad guys’ in any way shape or form. 

[Martin123]

I’ve gotta say there are communities that I’ve joined (as simple as Facebook groups), and the tonality of the conversations is way more kind, respectful and inclusive for everyone. It is dedicated to the well-being of one another.

 

here the emphasis is more on whether the things someone says are ‘true’, rather than helpful, kind and inspiring unity consciousness.
 

If we are overly focused on what’s true rather than whether the way something is conveyed is helpful and supportive to someone else, we are missing the point of what it means to communicate in a healing way with another human being.

 

Truth is subjective, but the way we feel about the words being spoken and the feelings they inspire in our bodies are always objectively right for each of us. 

[mandyjw]

@Martin123 This forum goes much deeper than simple Facebook groups. I started having mystical experiences not knowing what they were two years ago and really needed some guidance. I posted on an Eckhart Tolle Facebook page and my post was never even approved. So I came over here. Just because something appears inclusive on the surface doesn't mean it is. At all. 

[seeking_brilliance]

Thank you mods for all your hard work.  

 

To be fair, that was a dumb topic. 

[Ananta]

36 minutes ago, Ananta said:

Yep, it's charity work. You try to follow the guidelines and warnings that have been set out for you to enforce, but you best be prepared to deal with backlash and being harassed by disgruntled forum members for enforcing anything. Especially as a female mod. Prior to this thread I've been considering quitting. Sometimes its just not worth it. 

 

Actually, thanks @Leo Gura for the mod opportunity, but it's no longer what I want.

I QUIT, effective immediately. Please strip me of all mod privileges and responsibilities.

Thank you.

[Martin123]

4 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@Martin123 This forum goes much deeper than simple Facebook groups. I started having mystical experiences not knowing what they were two years ago and really needed some guidance. I posted on an Eckhart Tolle Facebook page and my post was never even approved. So I came over here. Just because something appears inclusive on the surface doesn't mean it is. At all. 

Hey Mandy. I’m not sure about Eckhart’s group, I’ve never been there.

 

ive joined the ‘Sophia code official forum’ after listening to the Sophia Code audio book (which isn’t for everyone and not everyone will resonate with it), however the way I was received and the way that place is moderated is fantastic!!!  only because love and emotional authenticity are an emphasis of the teachings and the overall spirit.

 

Another place I was very pleased with (although it isn’t perfect) was a Facebook group that discussed attachment styles, which is a relationship focused issue, therefor if we are seeking more mature relationships it would be rather instinctive to ‘relate’ to others more maturely.

 

ActualiZed.org isn’t relationship building focused though, it is often rather alienating and perpetuating patterns of disconnection and isolation. There are even people who say it alienated them from their friends, go figure... isn’t that a red flag lol. 

2 minutes ago, Ananta said:

Actually, thanks @Leo Gura for the mod opportunity, but it's no longer what I want.

I QUIT, effective immediately. Please strip me of all mod privileges and responsibilities.

Thank you.

Thank you for your service and contributions, I’ve always had a very pleasant and desirable experience with you. 
 

farewell ‘MOD’ Anna !  

[Ananta]

Just now, Martin123 said:

Thank you for your service and contributions, I’ve always had a very pleasant and desirable experience with you. 
 

farewell ‘MOD’ Anna !  

Thanks, you too. ? 

I'll probably still post, maybe, but I'm done being a mod.

[RedLine]

There is some green pathological mentality here when you get offended by everything and also relativistic (your opinion is worth the same as mine!), so tipical in this days.

 

There is nothing wrong with making strong assertion if you are sure what you are saying and despite who is offended.

 

 

Edited October 13, 2020 by RedLine

[Martin123]

Just now, RedLine said:

There is some green pathological mentality when

But if you call green pathological doesn’t that make you automatically orange/blue/red and puts you in a position where you are to learn from the vulnerability and authenticity of green rather than pretend you’re above and beyond it ?

2 minutes ago, RedLine said:

There is nothing wrong with making strong assertion if you are sure what you say and despite who is offended.

 

You’re right. The strong assertion is that much of what goes on in here is toxic and unhealthy.

 

Strong assertion made. 

[mandyjw]

@Martin123Facebook groups are by their nature much more superficial. There isn't much potential for archived resources, for long term discussions and relationships with people. They are usually more focused on a specific topic which makes them MUCH easier to moderate, but also much more limited. People have to be linked to their Facebook accounts which requires a real name.

Don't overlook or underappreciate the freedom and depth that is here. The resources are on this forum are absolutely incredible. That can't exist on Facebook. 

Ultimately you are attracting the interactions you have. It's not the venue's fault or credit, or even the other person's. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by mandyjw

[RedLine]

12 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

But if you call green pathological doesn’t that make you automatically orange/blue/red and puts you in a position where you are to learn from the vulnerability and authenticity of green rather than pretend you’re above and beyond it ?

 

 

No.

 

12 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

 

. The strong assertion is that much of what goes on in here is toxic and unhealthy.

 

Actually I think this is one of the less toxic internet communities I have been in my life haha. Quite respetful compared to average internet site.

Edited October 13, 2020 by RedLine

[Martin123]

5 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

People have to be linked to their Facebook accounts which requires a real name.

Isn’t that actually problematic in some ways as many of us here get to hide behind the internet’s anonymity and get away with saying things we would’ve never said in real life. 

[mandyjw]

@Martin123 Isn't it inclusive when some guy in the military can talk openly about topics like psychedelics and mystical experiences without worrying about losing his means of providing for his family?

Edited October 13, 2020 by mandyjw

[Martin123]

4 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@Martin123 Isn't it inclusive when some guy in the military can talk openly about topics like psychedelics and mystical experiences without worrying about losing his means of providing for his family?

Yes, it seems to be a double-edged sword.

The anonymity isn’t the issue, the issue is that members get away with disrespectful borderline a abusive speech without consequences. 

[Martin123]

@mandyjw and then when you’re being abused others start pretending to be insightful and when you speak up you’re bombarded with bullshit like ‘oh isn’t that more about you ? Aren’t you projecting ? Isn’t it actually your fault that this person is disrespecting you ?’

 

.... and the gaslight train goes on. 
 

ps: to use the law of attraction to blame yourself is only a self-gaslighting mechanism, nothing more and certainly not an insight. 

[mandyjw]

4 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

The anonymity isn’t the issue, the issue is that members get away with disrespectful borderline a abusive speech without consequences. 

Well that's simply not my perception of things. Like I said earlier, I have been very disappointed in some things I've read, but I think that the big picture is that everyone is here to grow, even the most "advanced" are here to learn from everyone else. If we assume that everyone must be perfect to interact then this place would either be full of pretenders or completely empty. 

I don't use the law of attraction to blame myself, I use it to focus. There are two sides inherent to every perspective, what is wanted and what isn't. If you don't like this place, spend you time somewhere you do like. Simple switch of focus and everyone is happy. 

[Martin123]

6 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Well that's simply not my perception of things.

So what ? 
Abuse that’s not perceived as abuse is still abuse.

your perception of things is just your individual perspective, it doesn’t mean anything about my experience or other people’s experiences of abuse and disrespect. Examples of it are many, in this very thread. 
 

You’re suggesting that abuse is in the eyes of the perceiver, which is an excuse that decisively deserves the award ‘the enabler of the year’.

 

congratulations, may you be awarded. 

[Leo Gura]

We routinely issue warnings to members with abusive or hostile attitudes. Many have been banned.

This forum will never be a Tolle Facebook group. Tolle's audience is mostly 60 year old grannies, and here we have 20-30 year old males. It's gonna be a lot more edgy here.