I might need some grounding...

[Persipnei]

The last couple of days have been a string of insights and realizations. My whole belief system crashed when I looked into what can I only describe as "the abyss", pulling me back to acid trips of decades ago. I feel like I'm exploding and am crying every couple of minutes. I have done nothing but accepting, but it's still so overwhelming, I'm the whole time at the boundary of panicking.

Any tips to not fall back and not lose my mind at the same time?

[Yog]

Hm I had those months or weeks after my acid trips. Creeping in and sometimes suddenly hitting deep.... nostalgia, something forgotten... forgotten love, shaking everything within.... crying, tensing my throat, losing my mind, cold sweat, shivers. As far as I remember, it just passed. Maybe weeks, maybe months...not sure. Grounding helped too.

What grounding is, is basically keeping yourself busy. Its the : If one is busy, one does not have time to think. Its just investing yourself in doing. So if you feel the need to ground yourself, just start doing something you love with all of your being, let the activity absorb you.

Walking is great, working with soil is great, be/ walk by moving water, run, jog, workout, gardening is great. Generally anything that has to do with your body, especially your hands and feet. You want to be grounded to "this" physical reality and be in the moment. Doing anything you like is good, its the "easy" grounding, but having physical activities in the mix is even better. Eat light food and don't over-eat, drink water.

Also make sure you are not doing grounding in order to escape this. It should be a tool that helps you be stable. Try to understand and integrate the insights you are having. Write them down and explore them when you feel stable.

Just don't worry. Know it will pass.

 

[Persipnei]

I had a great sleep. That was really necessary and I feel less chaotic.

I was raised very Catholic, and believed with every cell of my body when I was a kid. I lost that faith when growing up and I when I did my share of entheogens when I was in my twenties, I always saw those experiences as an experience of the brain.

I still kinda do, but since the experience a few days ago I am not able to see it as a fluke of the brain. I wanted to believe, to hope, this world was not as ugly as I perceived, it turns out it's completely perfect. I do realize my ego trying all possible explanations to explain and to discard it.

My worldview changed, I was always in control with huge anger issues when something doesn't go my way and now I'm like Mr Fluffy Guy sending love to everyone because there is nothing else that needs to be done.

All very good off course, although I realize that the voices in my head are going overdrive to try to explain everything in a less Divine way. I hope I can keep the impression, that I don't forget it again.

Edited October 10, 2020 by Persipnei
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