How do you develop more love for your body and face?

[SvanteTheBeast]

I have become really insecure about my body and face the last year and tried different techniques with dealing with it, like not looking in any mirrors, which didn’t go so well. Do you guys know some technique that you can do like everyday, a short little ritual for developing more acceptance and love for my appearance? This judgyness against myself is making me very scared to even go out in public because I’m afraid people will think badly about my appearance. Any advice?

[KaRzual]

What causes you not love them?

[PurpleTree]

53 minutes ago, KaRzual said:

What causes you not love them?

I'm guessing either some kind of perfectionism, like you must be almost perfect to be good enough for people to like you.

Or some kind of bullying in the past which made you think you're not good looking enough.

Leo has an episode on self-love, which i haven't really listened to yet but will soonish.

 

One way would be to just try to become more aware/conscious whenever you feel bad about your looks etc.  just try to go into that awareness and stay present if you can. And try to observe the feeling and thoughts from the observer perspective.

Edited October 9, 2020 by PurpleTree

[vizual]

You don't develop love. Love is the default. You have to ask yourself what is preventing you from experiencing your own love. You didn't hate how you looked as a little kid, you picked up your hate somewhere along the way. And it really isn't about how you look, it's deeper. 

[Shunyata]

The ego is not capable of love because it was designed to fit the needs of the social other, to find a niche within the family system.

[integral]

Get rid of all the mirrors in the house. What sense do they make? All they do is reinforce shallow thinking. 

[Shunyata]

@integral were you able to disconnect from your body and realize yourself to be the holy spirit?

[integral]

@Shunyata To rewire the mind means setting yourself up for success. spiritual/self understanding is one part of a battle, adjusting the environment like removing triggers/toxic people is another part. A combination of many methods is the fastest cure. 

This character realizes its not the character. 

[willl]

Take care of the body, stay healthy and clean, smile more, stay fit, treat it nicely and you will be naturally more pleasant/attractive

Keep pursuing a path of growth and maturing, keep becoming more conscious, you will naturally be more pleasant/attractive

you are much more than your looks

Contemplate this, your bare appearance is one of the things that can't be changed, how does it make sense to continue this resistance? It doesn't help, it actually will only negatively effect you. You have to find a way to move on

Looks are a tiny part of this life, most times they are irrelevant. Focus your attention into a talent, dream, skill, life purpose, these will have a far greater impact and lasting effect than your mere physical appearance

 

 

 

[Mu_]

4 hours ago, SvanteTheBeast said:

I have become really insecure about my body and face the last year and tried different techniques with dealing with it, like not looking in any mirrors, which didn’t go so well. Do you guys know some technique that you can do like everyday, a short little ritual for developing more acceptance and love for my appearance? This judgyness against myself is making me very scared to even go out in public because I’m afraid people will think badly about my appearance. Any advice?

By letting go of the ideas and hate or unfounded opinions on it. 

Then in that remainder something can newly emerge. 

Think of all those as a type of soil that’s been in the ground all these years. When you remove those ingredients the soil will grow something new. 

[Hero0]

Once I realized that I dont love myself enough so I watched myself in the mirror for 40 minutes and it was great. I asked myself if I could fall in love with myself. I watched and touched every bit of skin on my face and body, and concentrated on some parts of the body that Im ashamed of. It made me more confident and it pushed the self-love button and felt bad that i didnt knew before that im so beautiful creature.

You can try to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror for some minutes, its weird first but kicks in the feeling of something special.

[LastThursday]

14 hours ago, SvanteTheBeast said:

This judgyness against myself is making me very scared to even go out in public because I’m afraid people will think badly about my appearance.

99.999% of people couldn't care less about you or your appearance. Those that do care are either insecure about their own appearance, or they find you attractive.

[andyjohnsonman]

Look in the mirror and admire how perfectly created you are - look how the whole body works perfectly together, how perfectly designed your eyes are to help you see. Look at all the intricacies of how you are designed and what a beautiful creation it is. Focus on this more than the appearance of it - that part isnt as important as the design of it.

[CultivateLove]

Check out the last segment of this video titled 'Meditation'. It's tailored towards exactly the problem you're facing.

Edit: I noticed the segments don't show on the play-bar on this forum, so you either have to watch it on the actual YouTube site or just skip to 1:44:00

Edited October 10, 2020 by CultivateLove

[Shunyata]

 I am not a beauty. Still, I get smiles and attention from men from time to time and it pleases me. But now, I don't want to fall back into humiliating dependence.

When I was younger, my ego didn't like the fact that this girl won the genetic lottery and I didn't. I could literally go about my entire day just complaining about how unfortunate I were. It almost got to the point where I gave up and even stopped taking care of myself, until I thought:

Screw it.

If I cannot change it, why bother? I can just accept myself for who I am. Why not start directing my energy to doing something more valuable than self-criticism?

If we cannot change the situation, IMO it's better to let it go, to accept life as it is than to fall into depression and self-hatred, whipping up melancholy on people around you.

So I think that the best way to accept you body is to understand that life is too short to waste it on unnecessary narcissistic worrying. Be happy, it's our natural state. Of course your bruised ego won't like it because it makes you feel like it's tough to accept it. But it's harder for a bruised ego to live with itself.

 

Edited October 10, 2020 by Shunyata

[No Self]

Further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

[Shunyata]

@No Self it's interesting to see that the ego's self image is never determined on an objective basis.

[mandyjw]

Start to really look at other people as if you were an artist. Look for people who are interesting, who have some depth and interest artistically, not necessarily people who are beautiful by your standards or what you think societies standards are. Maybe even take an art class and try portraiture. You can do photography portraits if you don't draw. Or else just study and look at portrait art, both works of art and real life in people's faces. By mastering observation from the perspective of a creator and connoisseur (artist) , your own face becomes irrelevant and yet, beautiful.