Addiction to Masturbation

[Sandeep Reddy]

I started masturbating one time everyday. I didn't think that was a problem until it took effect on my energy and social life. Somedays I just masturbate using imagination and remaining days to porn. But, overall I am unable to avoid it. It became my addiction and I am using it as an escape. 

To put things in perspective, I am 19 years old. I have social anxiety, not too serious but I faced a lot of trauma in the past which I am working on right now.

When I go without masturbating, even for 3 days, I feel massively anxious and intrusive thoughts come over me. They doesn't let me study or work. More over, these thoughts take over my mind and I also feel massive urges to masturbate. 

 

I don't work on anything seriously right now. Many of my attempts to work only lead to procrastination. So, I am sort of taking a break right now. When I get too bored, sometimes I masturbate 3 times also. 

 

What's the solution for this?

Am I doing it to escape my anxiety and intrusive thoughts?

Can I control it?

Is it natural to masturbate everyday?

Where do I draw the line between my body needs and mind needs in masturbating?

 

 

[Thestarguitarist14]

Well..

The solution is to first love and accept yourself anyway.  Secondly, admit that you like it.  You are seeking pleasure.  Each time you cum you are just reinforcing that idea that masturbation equals pleasure.

There isn’t anything wrong with masturbation per say, it is your reaction to it that is the problem.

When you get the desire to jerk off to porn.  Just go with it as the opposite is suppression. When you watch porn, just observe yourself.  When you look at her hair just say “hair, hair, hair.”  When you see her tits just say “tits, tits, tits.”  You get the picture.  You will notice how you won’t even be able to stay hard if you remain conscious.  You can only masturbate )specifically to porn) when you are unconscious,

 

Then, you have to rewire the way you see cumming from porn.  You are focused on the pleasure.  Fast forward to the shame, guilt and loss of self esteem that you get after watching it.

 

This is something that can’t stand in the light of truth.

 

As for jerking off without porn.  That is not bad.  But eventually you will want to watch porn.

[ajai]

@Sandeep Reddy Welp, it's interesting isn't it, and what's more good is that you are conscious of yourself and contemplating about your "addiction".

An addiction isn't an addiction until it becomes to feel like it's life and death (generally speaking),  I mean food, aren't we addicted to that? offcourse we are but it's the mere perspective and the need attached to it, see ?

Just notice this the next time you go for watching a porn or masturbating,

Notice the period before doing the activity and just after you finish it,what the heck was it ? And be it whatever, did you like/love that ? And if you did why is it so ? There no point of acting like a victim, you are not alone if you got the D*ck that's all where it begin and all you need.

Now when you said, you use it as an escape, so let's just find another escape but this time be more vigilant while finding it find a good ( of higher value) one, it can be some sports activity or some other productive work of your interest where you feel like out of the world and really love doing it, I found Basketball ( when I was 18 ) couple of years back, and I was like fuck all of that- girls, porn, masturbation, does all of that has any value in front of my game ? No wayy, not at all, nothing used to give me more satisfaction than improving in my game every single day, the thoughts like masturbating and watching porn, flirt with girls don't even strike.

It was like Fck world sorta feeling for me.

So what I will suggest you is to find any productive work or a work of higher value or a  Life Purpose whatever you want to call it here but it has to be a more conscious one and productive one through which you grow and evolve, and you will see the difference. Best Wishes. Stay Blessed.

Edited October 9, 2020 by ajai

[Rolo]

your body releases sweat when you work out, Your body releases sperm when you masturbate.

Do the math.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Rolo

[universe]

3 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

There isn’t anything wrong with masturbation per say, it is your reaction to it that is the problem.

True. Also, it's "per se"

@Sandeep Reddy Can you go 1-2 weeks without masturbation when you are for example away on holidays? Because I guess it's not an addiction but more something along the lines of "not having anything else to do". As you said yourself. Find something that you like doing, maybe a hobby or even better, a life purpose, and see how your whole life will change.

[Sandeep Reddy]

4 hours ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

There isn’t anything wrong with masturbation per say, it is your reaction to it that is the problem.

Thanks for bringing up this point. 

I don't have guilt due to masturbation in a moral sense but I do feel guilty that I am using it for escape.

[Sandeep Reddy]

2 hours ago, Rolo said:

your body releases sweat when you work out, Your body releases sperm when you masturbate.

 

I think this is too simplistic to do anything with that. Thoughts?

[Sandeep Reddy]

4 hours ago, ajai said:

So what I will suggest you is to find any productive work or a work of higher value or a  Life Purpose whatever you want to call it here but it has to be a more conscious one and productive one through which you grow and evolve, and you will see the difference

Going to try this. As of now, I don't have a life purpose but I do have hobbies. I will start working on them and see if there's a difference. I am sure there will be as I myself don't masturbate for 3 or 4 days in college. 

I found myself falling into this loop when I get bored without any reason. 

Edited October 9, 2020 by Sandeep Reddy
spelling mistake

[ajai]

11 minutes ago, Sandeep Reddy said:

Going to try this

Yepp, sure thing !!

12 minutes ago, Sandeep Reddy said:

when I get bored without any reason. 

It's fairly alright, and it's normal but don't take it otherwise, and boredom is good at times it's actually the calling that "Bruh time to switch some gears" more conscious gears. The thing with becoming more "Conscious" is that you don't become more conscious either by reading or writing this word, you gotta embody ( more awareness more understanding ) by actual practice, making mistakes over and over again and evaluating every time yet not loosing temper. Start enjoying the process of becoming more Conscious, I can bet you will love it when you'll reflect back on your PROCESS.

[Chives99]

It shouldn't be a replacement for things you enjoy in life sometimes I just have to do it to destress then I can focus better. Knock one out before a strong determination sitting is very useful

[vizual]

I personally experienced that when I am depressed, feel stuck in life, bored, unchallenged, unpassionate etc. The pull toward addictive behavior increases. I feel the lure of the devil pulling me: drugs, unhealthy sexual behavior, alcohol, shitty food, laziness, apathy.

When I'm doing things in life that excite me, that I feel passionate about, things that recquire my full attention and love. Then all these addictive tendencies drop away. It just is not interesting enough to engage in as the things I am passionate about are simply way more fulfilling. And when I don't have that passion in my life, just forcing myself to cut out the addicitive stuff simply does not work. The heart will always look for love to some capacity, and it will resort to cheap love if it has to(drugs). So instead of looking to destroy the addicitive behavior, I think it's more productive to fill that hole in your heart with new 'wholesome' behavior that will make you way more happy in the long run

To me; addictive behavior is just a cheap substitute to doing things you are passionate about. 

[Rolo]

22 hours ago, Sandeep Reddy said:

I think this is too simplistic to do anything with that. Thoughts?

well when we sweat we release toxins from the body, when we ejaculate we release energy from the body. The energy can be a release of unconscious repressed emotions or anything really, its creative energy, you can use it however you want to. I think its defiantly something worth contemplating and reading about.

[Nahm]

On 10/9/2020 at 3:36 AM, Sandeep Reddy said:

I started masturbating one time everyday. I didn't think that was a problem until it took effect on my energy and social life. Somedays I just masturbate using imagination and remaining days to porn. But, overall I am unable to avoid it. It became my addiction and I am using it as an escape. 

To put things in perspective, I am 19 years old. I have social anxiety, not too serious but I faced a lot of trauma in the past which I am working on right now.

When I go without masturbating, even for 3 days, I feel massively anxious and intrusive thoughts come over me. They doesn't let me study or work. More over, these thoughts take over my mind and I also feel massive urges to masturbate. 

 Sit, relax, breathe, and feel. Use breathing from the stomach as a steadfast focal point, that way you don’t get quite as swept up, and thoughts & feelings can come and go. When you experience this you begin to see there is no reason to avoid thought or feeling, and that the avoidance is the suffering. From the ‘sitting with it’ and seeing that all thoughts & feelings come and go and can not actually hurt you, you’ll feel much more in control, and will not look to masturbation to be in control of how you feel. 

Quote

Am I doing it to escape my anxiety and intrusive thoughts?

Can I control it?

Upon sitting with a few times, and breathing through it rather than avoiding you will see there is no anxiety and thoughts are not intrusive. This will reduce if not completely illuminate any ruminating or overthinking which is a focus & energy drainer. You control it so to speak, by no longer fearing it, and you’ll inevitably no longer identify with it. You will then no longer be bored, and will not be procrastinating. Through the embracing of feeling and the filling up of the body with feeling, there will be so much you want to experience, that you won’t have enough time to experience it in ten lifetimes. 

[ajai]

25 minutes ago, Nahm said:

and that the avoidance is the suffering

Can u you please clear the meaning of suffering here, I mean in which context you used it? put light on this.

And whatever you mean by suffering is it good or bad to suffer ? I mean are there negatives or positives as per you of suffering ? And if there's any what are they?

And if you wanna elaborate pls also tell, as per you does suffering has anything to deal with evolving as a human being ?

I'm asking all of this bcoz I can't understand what you meant by suffering here, because for me either it's suffering or joyousness/happiness whatever u consider the opposite both equally stands true existentially so pls clear on this.

 

[Nahm]

6 minutes ago, ajai said:

for me either it's suffering or joyousness/happiness whatever u consider the opposite both equally stands true existentially so pls clear on this.

Joy / Happiness does not have an opposite, but thinking makes it so.

[mullerbar]

 

I also had such a problem, it appeared in quarantine, when I had absolutely nothing to do. When summer began, it all ended, because she began to pull herself out of the house much more often. And if you really have a need to have fun, then you should find a partner who will simply help you with this, so that this feeling will last for a long time.

[Someone here]

On 10/10/2020 at 4:10 PM, Nahm said:

Joy / Happiness does not have an opposite, but thinking makes it so.

This can't be further from my imagined truth. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by Someone here

[Someone here]

@Sandeep Reddy just get a girlfriend. 

[seeking_brilliance]

just beat it out

How do you know that the daily masturbation took a toll on your energy and social life? Is this something you became directly conscious of or is it something someone told you is a result of masturbation? Kind of reminds me of the old "your palms will get hairy"

[Ajay0]

On 10/9/2020 at 11:24 PM, vizual said:

I personally experienced that when I am depressed, feel stuck in life, bored, unchallenged, unpassionate etc. The pull toward addictive behavior increases. I feel the lure of the devil pulling me: drugs, unhealthy sexual behavior, alcohol, shitty food, laziness, apathy.

When I'm doing things in life that excite me, that I feel passionate about, things that recquire my full attention and love. Then all these addictive tendencies drop away. It just is not interesting enough to engage in as the things I am passionate about are simply way more fulfilling. And when I don't have that passion in my life, just forcing myself to cut out the addicitive stuff simply does not work. The heart will always look for love to some capacity, and it will resort to cheap love if it has to(drugs). So instead of looking to destroy the addicitive behavior, I think it's more productive to fill that hole in your heart with new 'wholesome' behavior that will make you way more happy in the long run

To me; addictive behavior is just a cheap substitute to doing things you are passionate about. 

I agree with this. When there is creativity or creative challenges, the sexual urge diminishes on its own and one surprisingly becomes oblivious to it.

I have also read about the ancient Greeks in the Olympic games practicing celibacy to enhance their physical and mental strength. Same with eastern martial artists as well as international football teams prior to a competition.

So people instinctively connect celibacy with greater strength and energy through experience. Sexual release brings with it mental and physical fatigue earlier and one lacks the energy to pursue meaningful activities .

Eastern psychology associates celibacy with greater physical and mental energy, along with memory power and mental strength. The sexual energy, if properly controlled and channeled, gets transformed to higher states of consciousness.

But as the others here stated, it is something that should be done with awareness and mental equanimity. Spiritual exercises done in early morning can help to bring about the necessary self-discipline needed in this regard.

The  bliss that comes with practice of awareness or meditation, can also help to reduce the intensity of sexual urges, as the bliss is much superior to sexual pleasure and consequently one gradually loses interest in it.