I'm selfish

[integral]

INFP?

[flowboy]

@Preety_India You're not selfish.

You're just not yet free of the spell of this narcissistic ex.

I understand seeing value in people, and I understand everyone has flaws.

But narcissism is not a regular flaw, it's a serious personality disorder that is destructive to everyone around them, and someone with healthy self worth would definitely immediately break contact for.

And this is the right thing to do.

• To protect yourself first and foremost, because you love yourself
• Because you love the person, and know that being a saviour/enabler never works out and doesn't help them
• Because you still being there validates their behavior, and robs them of the chance to be shocked awake and possibly change

Here's what I think happened: the narcissist in question has gaslighted you into thinking that you are seriously flawed as well.

So now you believe you don't deserve better than to be around other seriously flawed people.

 

The only way to break the spell is to completely cut contact with all narcissistic or otherwise manipulative people, and then start the healing process.

I bet you'll discover this "selfish" thought is just something some previous man put in your head during a fight, and you internalized it.

Edited October 23, 2020 by flowboy