Zane

Building A New Social Circle

8 posts in this topic

My friends from college have graduated and it's my final semester in college. My goal is to create a new social circle aligned with my life purpose, my personal values, and who share my passions. My vision for a social circle are genuine friends who are authentic and highly creative and who I can effortlessly interact with no limitations like social awkwardness. I'm mastering the art of conversation and I'm realizing one of my best abilities is to share my passion with people and get people's contact info easily by showing my passion in conversation. My passion has resulted in actors recognizing me from the audience and noticing how passionate I get and they embrace my passion and love my passion. I used to see my eccentricity as an impediment because I felt "creepy" and I would be unrestrained. Instead of denying my eccentricity or stomping it out to be more normal. I used to be more creepy by being much more clingy and needy and not understanding people particularly girls. I used to send people too many texts without taking the hint and I struggled with impatience. I would also monopolize conversations and I would blurt out my thoughts. I revised my eccentricity from creepiness into charm by thinking like a comedian and an actor who is embodying a character. I'm tapping into my inner charisma and I realize that there is charisma within me. I want to be selective with my social circle and have a small but intimate social circle and not a clique. I'm writing in the forum to begin to process of creating a new social circle. I value genuine and intimate friendships based around sharing mutual passions! By revising creepiness into eccentric and passionate charisma, it has resulted excellently in getting new friends and even getting to know girls much more deeply and even getting a prom date and attention, respect and even admiration from actors and actresses. 

Edited by Zane

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This post is advice to socially awkward guys or socially inexperienced people to give you a success story on how you can succeed socially and how I started from nothing. Some people envy me and think it comes easily for me but that's not the case. I worked a lot on inner game, field work and counseling and social groups to master socializing and i discovered what works or what doesn't work. I know how limiting awkwardness can be and how I used to psyche myself out. I started from a socially awkward weirdo on the Autism Spectrum to an intuitive socializer who focuses on discovering best friends with my niche passions and who is highly selective of who I socialize with. By being highly selective and niche-oriented, you become much more aware of who your best friends are. I focus on seeking out eccentric girls particularly artists, storytellers, and actresses and I open myself up through my curiosity and my passion and being authentic in my socializing but not being desperate or pursuing casual hookups or sex. The highly imaginative and dreamy introvert or the energetic free spirited woman with masculine qualities are who I aim for! My main strategy is being a regular at my college Writing Club and a regular at a Poetry open mic in downtown DC or at a theater in Arlington VA and I act like a VIP regular. 

Edited by Zane

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This is an awesome thread Zane. I have been wanting the same thing more and more on my journey; a circle of creative, awakened, like-minded individuals (with a real "community" vibe). I have also found some niche events/activities that allow me to meet people on a similar frequency.... even though I am somewhat bold and eccentric, I am also quite introverted...so the new connections I've been making are often limited to the initial meeting...unless I make the effort to connect online, or see them in person again soon...or the universe intervenes with another synchronistic chance encounter...

I know what it's like to be eccentric; I may not come off as creepy, but I do inadvertently offend &/or annoy people with my honesty (because I often see more than people want to outwardly show, and speak boisterously with no filter). I have a large circle of friends, but I've been connected with them for decades (pre-brain-injury)...and most have no interest in personal evolution, even if they are rad and creative. Recently, I thought it was just a neurosis, that I felt uncomfortable connecting with mainstream less-creative types; now I understand that although that is also true, I simply do not resonate with non-eccentrics in the same way. How do you interact with your new friends ....to the extent of establishing a whole new circle? I suppose this would mean spending more time with all of them, plus trying to connect them with the other new friends in the hopes that they would also bond?...What do you suggest? Is it better to just find an already formed circle that you'd fit into? Also, I love my current friends, dysfunctions and all, how would one transition circles (while keeping some ties to the old friends)?

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On 10/19/2016 at 11:09 AM, Epiphany_Inspired said:

I have also found some niche events/activities that allow me to meet people on a similar frequency.... even though I am somewhat bold and eccentric,

How ?

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@avk123 Culture! Find conscious and/ or creative culture...I don't know exactly what that means in your area (would depend where you live somewhat).. for me, it involves events that surround:

Art, social awakening, alcohol/substance-free transformational dances, live music with conscious lyrics, Conscious book fairs, workshops/ talks...etc... 

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3 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

@avk123 Culture! Find conscious and/ or creative culture...I don't know exactly what that means in your area (would depend where you live somewhat).. for me, it involves events that surround:

Art, social awakening, alcohol/substance-free transformational dances, live music with conscious lyrics, Conscious book fairs, workshops/ talks...etc... 

I'm discovering my creative culture and I realize that open mics, poetry slams, comedy clubs, the theater, and the coffeeshop, book fairs, listening to music, writing alone, watching movies and socializing with passionate friends and to metaphorically kill toxic people from my life.  

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On 10/31/2016 at 9:39 PM, Epiphany_Inspired said:

@avk123 Culture! Find conscious and/ or creative culture...I don't know exactly what that means in your area (would depend where you live somewhat).. for me, it involves events that surround:

Art, social awakening, alcohol/substance-free transformational dances, live music with conscious lyrics, Conscious book fairs, workshops/ talks...etc... 

Well relatively speaking, I have started my own group via an app called meetup called "Socrates Cafe" where we discuss very intellectual topics ranging from death,social construct, economy, and dating. 

However what I find dissatisfying and Sadly that in my area is that most of the incoming members age between 40 and above. for me,luckily  I got to make a friend or two out of this initiation. 

 

If you have more ideas of things you are referring to please give me a reference to where can I get a better understanding.

Edited by avk123

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