Stop chasing women and start attracting them into your life

[Thestarguitarist14]

Just now, Recursoinominado said:

Calm down, Mr. Evolved. 

Whatever, your evolution is your evolution.  Guess there’s nothing wrong with negativity.

[Recursoinominado]

4 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Whatever, your evolution is your evolution.  Guess there’s nothing wrong with negativity.

[electroBeam]

@Thestarguitarist14 Look you've got a cool idea, but that's not how human psychology works. If you deeply study human sociology, and not just human, but most mammals, there is definitely a hard wired social dynamic whereby men chase women, and not the other way around.

Your cool ideas about being an amazing guy doesn't change that. 

There's deep wisdom to the mating ritual. Its not all social conditioning, there are core elements of it that are hardwired. And what hardwired means is, its what men and women both want deep down. When you take all the social conditioning, ego, etc out of it, there is a kernel of hardwired mating ritual which both men and women want exactly. And that ritual requires men to chase women, and a bunch of other things. Women love being chased for a reason, a healthy reason, and men like chasing for a reason too. Its hardwired. 

Yeah women want more then just men who chase them, but that's because women want men who have shredded toxic social and egoic conditioning. Who have become and living their real self. The same with men. What that looks like in practice is a guy whose got an amazing life, a life that he loves. A life that he wants. A life that shows his real self. But that doesn't mean that chasing goes out the window. In fact, living a mans real self, for most men(not talking about transgenders or half men half women or very girly guys or gays) means chasing. It means pursuing. Not just women but business opportunities, humanitarian opportunities, it means engaging with the world. 

You should really be having an amazing life, and building yourself to be a 'high value guy' anyway, regardless of women. Don't do it for women, do it for your own self esteem, gratification, happiness, to fall in love with life. And IMO building an amazing life based on what you think a 'high valued guy' is, is stupid anyway because are those silly beliefs of what a high value guy is, really sync with what you truly want to be, and what life you truly want to have(leave the women out of it). 

And if you're a guy who doesn't like chasing, and you're a normal guy, not a gay or transgender, then really its because you have conflated chasing with toxic social conditioning. Chasing doesn't have to be toxic or a waste of time. Chasing women in hippy circles for example is great compared to clubs - because its less toxic.

 

Edited October 9, 2020 by electroBeam

[Thestarguitarist14]

24 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@Thestarguitarist14 Look you've got a cool idea, but that's not how human psychology works. If you deeply study human sociology, and not just human, but most mammals, there is definitely a hard wired social dynamic whereby men chase women, and not the other way around.

Your cool ideas about being an amazing guy doesn't change that. 

There's deep wisdom to the mating ritual. Its not all social conditioning, there are core elements of it that are hardwired. And what hardwired means is, its what men and women both want deep down. When you take all the social conditioning, ego, etc out of it, there is a kernel of hardwired mating ritual which both men and women want exactly. And that ritual requires men to chase women, and a bunch of other things. Women love being chased for a reason, a healthy reason, and men like chasing for a reason too. Its hardwired. 

Yeah women want more then just men who chase them, but that's because women want men who have shredded toxic social and egoic conditioning. Who have become and living their real self. The same with men. What that looks like in practice is a guy whose got an amazing life, a life that he loves. A life that he wants. A life that shows his real self. But that doesn't mean that chasing goes out the window. In fact, living a mans real self, for most men(not talking about transgenders or half men half women or very girly guys or gays) means chasing. It means pursuing. Not just women but business opportunities, humanitarian opportunities, it means engaging with the world. 

You should really be having an amazing life, and building yourself to be a 'high value guy' anyway, regardless of women. Don't do it for women, do it for your own self esteem, gratification, happiness, to fall in love with life. And IMO building an amazing life based on what you think a 'high valued guy' is, is stupid anyway because are those silly beliefs of what a high value guy is, really sync with what you truly want to be, and what life you truly want to have(leave the women out of it). 

And if you're a guy who doesn't like chasing, and you're a normal guy, not a gay or transgender, then really its because you have conflated chasing with toxic social conditioning. Chasing doesn't have to be toxic or a waste of time. Chasing women in hippy circles for example is great compared to clubs - because its less toxic.

 

I mean, there are guys doing this.  Maybe I have been living in L.A too long, but there are guys who live like this.

 

Yes, guys are hardwired for chase women.  I have done this my whole life.  But we are hardwired to do a lot of primitive things.  Things that as self actualizing people we can transcend.  It is like when I hear someone talking about wanting to get laid.  That is so animalistic and low conscious.  And I will say that women themselves love to chase high value men.  That is because they are so rare.

 

Keep in mind, there is a difference between chasing and pursuing.  You have to pursue a woman to a certain extent.  Like setting up dates, pulling and etc.  That should be obvious.  Chasing is different.  Chasing is when you are deliberately going out of your way for a piece of ass.  Which automatically puts you at lower value in the woman’s eyes.  Which gets you seeking her approval.

Btw, I am not saying to do it for women, but most guys here are desperate for ass so I was gearing that towards those men.  I also never stated what I think a high value guy is.  If you are referring to me talking about some hot shot on Wall Street, that was just an example.   I only started talking like that because that dude was acting like pick up is the only solution to men’s dating problems.  And it is not.

 

It’s too bad the counterculture movement did not work.  Not too many real hippie chicks out here these days.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado Destroyed my heart and self esteem by following their bs advice and trusting what they want in a guy. NEVER AGAIN

I only trust guys that get good girls now, NOTHING ELSE

    

[electroBeam]

@Thestarguitarist14 sure when I say hardwired, I'm not talking from a Darwinian context, but rather hardwired from a waking up context.

For example, everyone is hardwired to wake up and enlighten at some point. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

I have a story that puts a nice point to what I said.

 

Two male moose (Bulls), one old, one you g, are up on a hill as they see a group of female moose (Cows) grazing.  The young moose turns to  the older moose and says “what do you say we run down there and hump a few?”  The older moose simply says “No.  we’ll walk down there and hump them all”

 

 

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[electroBeam]

49 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I have a story that puts a nice point to what I said.

 

Two male moose (Bulls), one old, one you g, are up on a hill as they see a group of female moose (Cows) grazing.  The young moose turns to  the older moose and says “what do you say we run down there and hump a few?”  The older moose simply says “No.  we’ll walk down there and hump them all”

 

 

From this post alone, I'm gonna bet that cold approach is essential for you. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

9 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

From this post alone, I'm gonna bet that cold approach is essential for you. 

Dude, I live in L.A.  I was a pick up artist for three years.  Gamed in Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica and etc.  Got laid in bars and clubs.  Even after I stopped pick up I still was able to date (honestly hotter) women and get one night stands without too much effort.  Up until the pandemic I was still living the sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle.  
 

Not that I care, but I am sure that if put in a venue with anyone on this forum who does pick up, I would get more numbers and get laid quicker.  Though, by surveying the area, that would not be hard to do.

How about I am way more mature than most you wannabe frat boys on here?  I suggest you actually try to love yourself for once in your life.  Might get your mental issues to go away.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[electroBeam]

4 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Dude, I live in L.A.  I was a pick up artist for three years.  Gamed in Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica and etc.  Got laid in bars and clubs.  Even after I stopped pick up I still was able to date (honestly hotter) women and get one night stands without too much effort.

 

How about I am way more mature than most you wannabe frat boys on here?  I suggest you actually try to love yourself for once in your life.  Might get your mental issues to go away.

 ok.  well if I've got mental issues and dont love myself, then whats the go with you taking me so seriously. 

btw, still laughing at how you actually took that moose story seriously.

Edited October 9, 2020 by electroBeam

[Thestarguitarist14]

Just now, electroBeam said:

 ok.  well if I've got mental issues and dont love myself, then whats the go with you taking me so seriously. 

I just say it as it is.  

[ajai]

@Thestarguitarist14

Yes you are true about your point, but that's you being experienced by pick up saying, like you know how it works, because you are aware of the trade offs you had to go through, and now you think it's better to work on yourself and then let women chase you.

I woulda loved to ask ya 6 months back when you already were living that rock n roll lifestyle ? see ?

But look that's near to perfection shit. I saw this Martin Freeman video on YouTube couple of years back where he is saying "Never chase women let the women chase you" that's b.s.

When you start working on yourself consciously to evolve this very idea of getting laid with random chicks vanishes automatically imo,

Then it becomes a priority to attract a value girl, so a guy who have done some value work on himself will pacify himself to not just fall for anyone and will wait till the right girl clicks, but since he will only resonate with that girl's frequency he was being illuded by this fantasy "He does not chase women" , but see it's not the case , if you want woman you want woman, periodt. It becomes a matter of patience and being more wise in your selection.

Ask a guy 'A' who's not willing to work on himself for 6 months because it's so boring for him ( bcoz he is unaware of what he can be yet, he's being naive), it's not easy to work on yourself consciously for a fairly long time. How many pass this Test?

This guy 'A' wants woman/en right now, so either he go with his cold approach or stay passive in his comfy little sofa, ?

 

Edited October 9, 2020 by ajai

[Thestarguitarist14]

2 hours ago, ajai said:

@Thestarguitarist14

Yes you are true about your point, but that's you being experienced by pick up saying, like you know how it works, because you are aware of the trade offs you had to go through, and now you think it's better to work on yourself and then let women chase you.

I woulda loved to ask ya 6 months back when you already were living that rock n roll lifestyle ? see ?

But look that's near to perfection shit. I saw this Martin Freeman video on YouTube couple of years back where he is saying "Never chase women let the women chase you" that's b.s.

When you start working on yourself consciously to evolve this very idea of getting laid with random chicks vanishes automatically imo,

Then it becomes a priority to attract a value girl, so a guy you have done some value work on himself will pacify himself to not just fall for anyone and will wait till the right girl clicks, but since he will only resonate with that girl's frequency he was being illuded by this fantasy "He does not chase women" , but see it's not the case , if you want woman you want woman, periodt. It becomes a matter of patience and being more wise in your selection.

Ask a guy 'A' who's not willing to work on himself for 6 months because it's so boring for him ( bcoz he is unaware of what he can be yet, he's being naive), it's not easy to work on yourself consciously for a fairly long time. How many pass this Test?

This guy 'A' wants woman/en right now, so either he go with his cold approach or stay passive in his comfy little sofa, ?

 

Finally, a nuanced response.

 

That is pretty much me.  For the longest time I was just partying and having fun.  Dating multiple women at a time even post pick up.  No intentions of anything serious.  
 

Last year I was falling for this woman, we dated on and off for a few months.  It went terrible.  She was a straight narcissist who I put up with for too long.  Right before the pandemic every weekend I would get hammered and go out on the town.  I wasn’t even trying and women would approached (L.A is a little different I guess, I get approached a decent bit, but that may have to do with looks to a certain extent).  I did not even care.  I was just flirting with any woman who gave me attention.  I guess you can say that I know how to peacock at this point.
 

Then the pandemic happened.  I realized (well I already knew this) that I was a zen devil.  I went deep into spirituality.  Started doing dmt (had done shrooms and LSD before, but at raves mostly) and had my kundalini and heart center awakening.  
 

By July I had started dating a woman from my past.  Not a straight narcissist, but narcissistic.  After this, I changed course.  Started doing some deep healing work.  And I mean deep.  
 

After the worst of it was gone I began to realize just how little boundaries that I was putting up.  How I was getting swept up by pussy.  How I was just doing everything so superficially without vetting the woman.

 

So I have decided to focus on myself.  To change my life.  I was already on that path.  But, this got me more serious about it.  The good news about dating so many women is that I have been with all kinds.  I know what’s out there.  And I desire more.  I desire to be with a woman who is beautiful not only on the outside, but the inside.  Easier said than.  Especially in L.A.  And you are not going to do that by cold approaching.  Not that you can do that right now anyway, for the most part the state is still shut down.

 

I like what you said and I actually said this to my therapist recently, I am going to be patient.  Most guys (I was like this) are all about instant gratification.  They want pussy and they want it now.  Hell, one guy in here actually fucking said that working on yourself takes too long.  Then had the audacity to say most guys are lame.  The irony is immense.

What I am doing and proposing is a strategic step back for men who actually want high quality women in their life.  Because I will tell you right now, as a PUA, you take what you can get as long as the pussy is good.  You are only looking to fill that black hole inside your heart by filling her hole.  Does not work.  Ever.  But hey, everyone has agency.  They can be as unconscious and egotistical as they wish.

 

I am filling my own black hole.  Now I want get a woman who matches that vibration.  And in the process, I am leveling up.  You know why?  Because have finally realized that I don’t need anyone.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[ajai]

@Thestarguitarist14 Yeah, and I know that's profound experience talkin' rt there, like it's NO bullshit.

[nistake]

I think that's another ironic paradox of self-development. Once you start working on yourself, start loving yourself and realize that you don't need anybody to be happy, that's when you'll attract high-quality women. Of course, you'll still need to take initiative, these girls will not appear out of thin air just because you're working on yourself. However, you can afford to be picky, because you're not attached to the outcome.

[F A B]

Not such a great discovery, I mean, if you have your shit together of course you are more likely to succeed with girls. Either you approach them or not. 

[Thestarguitarist14]

5 hours ago, nistake said:

I think that's another ironic paradox of self-development. Once you start working on yourself, start loving yourself and realize that you don't need anybody to be happy, that's when you'll attract high-quality women. Of course, you'll still need to take initiative, these girls will not appear out of thin air just because you're working on yourself. However, you can afford to be picky, because you're not attached to the outcome.

Pretty much this.  Before I could not afford to be too picky because I was more external so I wanted it more.  Now because I am internal it really doesn’t matter much to me.  The last two women taught me it is better to be alone than to deal with narcissistic abuse.

3 hours ago, F A B said:

Not such a great discovery, I mean, if you have your shit together of course you are more likely to succeed with girls. Either you approach them or not. 

Oh grow up.  A lot of you on this forum and such wannabes.  

Btw, true high value males do not cold approach.  They get choosing signals and make their moves from there.  This is something that I discovered a few years back.  Only wannabe alpha males believe that cold approaching is all that there is.

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[F A B]

39 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Btw, true high value males do not cold approach.  They get choosing signals and make their moves from there.  This is something that I discovered a few years back.  Only wannabe alpha males believe that cold approaching is all that there is.

I didn't get who you are trying to convince here, me?

[Thestarguitarist14]

6 minutes ago, F A B said:

I didn't get who you are trying to convince here, me?

I was taught if I have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

 

All I will say is that for a forum that is supposed to be about self actualization, I see a lot of posturing.  What a joke.  Won’t be posting here much anymore.  

Edited October 9, 2020 by Thestarguitarist14

[F A B]

@Thestarguitarist14 

Man, It seems I offended you somehow. Not in my intention anyway.

As far as I can see, people in this forum are quite genuine and helpful. Don't get mad at them like that.