Hi girls and guys! I am 20 years old and I have recently (April this year) entered my first relationship with a guy and I currently find it very challenging emotionally to navigate this area of my life appropriately. I hope to get some new perspectives on this topic (please do not judge) and ideas of how others handle these things. My situation is this: 
When we met, neither of us had had sex before although he had been in some sort of loose relationships with two other girls whom he only kissed. He told me quite early on in the relationship how he had actually been desperate to get a girlfriend for a while and that he used to worry that he would never have sex in his life and that he had a time when he listened to a lot of pick-up advice. Our communication has actually been very open (compared to my usual experience with people)  right from the start and we discussed things like relationship expectations, boundaries regarding cheating (though we have not properly settled on this completely yet) and our own feelings. Well, at some point he told me that one of the girls he "dated" earlier, was back in town and that he wanted to meet her because he still felt attracted to her. We discussed it, things went back and forth,  and maybe he will get the opportunity to meet her at the end of October and I do not know how to feel about it. Sometimes I feel very jealous because he basically told me that if I was okay with it he would like to have sex with that girl and that makes me confused as in how to think about our relationship. And other times I feel quite open about it and would rather encourage him (since he said that it is not about leaving the relationship but rather to explore sexuality and so on).  A few days ago we talked about relationship matters and he said that sometimes he feels disgust when we are kissing or after sex and that he does not exactly enjoy kissing (which I had suspected but not really admitted to myself). He also explained that when interacting with girls, he often immediately gets into that 'how-can-I-make-her-interested' pick-up mode and thinks about having sex with other women. It does hurt me but at the same time I try to understand it from a male's point of view (since I know from Leo's videos and some other sources that male and female psychology can be quite different). Yet I simply cannot quite understand how this attraction and relationship thing works for men. Like I cannot get a 'feel' for it.  Besides, he still seems to care about pick-up/learning how to attract women and sometimes I wonder whether it is normal to be in a relationship and kind of simultaneously work on your dating/attracting skills as in"preparing" yourself for the next relationship or at least the state of being single again. When I get this vibe from him, I react by trying to detach more and also think about whether/how I could prepare myself for the "world after this relationship." However, I actually do not like the mindset or the feeling that I get when treating the relationship as something that already has an expiration date. Overall, we seem to struggle with different views on intimacy, sex, feelings and maybe what we want the relationship to be like.
However, he is an amazing guy (he introduced me to Leo's channel btw) and I had many great experiences with him so far and I do care emotionally about him a lot, so I do not want to throw away the relationship (only because not everything goes smoothly) but it is hard for me to view it as a learning or growth opportunity solely and I wonder whether I am ready to take the insecurity of not knowing where this goes, feeling like I should already detach from him in order to be able to cope well with a potential break-up in the future. If you make it here, thanks for reading and I would really appreciate some new thoughts on this