Does meditation ever make you feel worse?

[PurpleTree]

I already have some "anxiety" and overthinking issues and care a lot about how others see me etc. (the ego  )

 

and sometimes after mindfulness meditation or after a lot of meditation, I feel like it's making me feel a bit worse.

 

A bit loopy/out of it or even more self-aware in the bad sense, caring more about how others perceive "me" etc. maybe a bit more vulnerable. It's also not always and it's pretty hard to explain.

 

 

PurpleTree would like to try a silent retreat sometime but doesn't know if it would be counter productive.

[Beginner Mind]

I recommend being aware of being aware.  Relax your attention, notice that you are aware, and stay there.  Give it a few minutes, and a feeling of peace and completeness will begin to emerge.  This is the highest meditation.  And no, it will never make you feel worse.

[mandyjw]

Meditation is meant to break the mind's pattern of assigning cause of effect. So meditation isn't a cause of anything. 

[PurpleTree]

3 minutes ago, Beginner Mind said:

I recommend being aware of being aware.  Relax your attention, notice that you are aware, and stay there.  Give it a few minutes, and a feeling of peace and completeness will begin to emerge.  This is the highest meditation.  And no, it will never make you feel worse.

That's what PurpleTree generally does, thanks though

 

3 minutes ago, Beginner Mind said:

 And no, it will never make you feel worse.

I find statements like "never" a bit dangerous

Edited October 7, 2020 by PurpleTree

[Beginner Mind]

5 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

That's what PurpleTree generally does, thanks though

Beginner Mind finds this hard to believe. 

Being Aware of Being Aware is the doorway to lasting peace.  I assure you, it can never make you feel worse.  In fact, it is the only experience that will never let you down.  Everything in your life will leave you at some point.  Your friends and family will all die, your possessions come and go.  But the experience of being aware will always remain, for as long as you live.  Take refuge there.  Be aware of being aware.

[Dario1995]

@PurpleTree Meditation at first brings up some repressed stuff from subconciouss mind, emotions and thoughts. Your ego becomes more vulnerable as you can see all the shitty thoughts, and then you can stop to identify with those thoughts. It is a good thing. 

 

 

 

[PurpleTree]

28 minutes ago, Beginner Mind said:

Beginner Mind finds this hard to believe. 

 

Well then that's the problem of your "ego" then 

what i'm doing now is trying to be aware or awareness a lot of times during the day without sitting down meditation and i really like that.

 

7 minutes ago, Dario1995 said:

@PurpleTree Meditation at first brings up some repressed stuff from subconciouss mind, emotions and thoughts. Your ego becomes more vulnerable as you can see all the shitty thoughts, and then you can stop to identify with those thoughts. It is a good thing. 

 

 

 

Purple has done it on and off for like 5,6 years so it's not like he's totally new.

The longest i've done it consistently was about 10 months or so everyday 20-60 minutes but didn't really feel "good" in the end and stopped doing it.

 

Also i've read online that meditation makes some people feel worse after i googled it, so i'm not the only one but i wanted to see how it is in this forum.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

I already have some "anxiety" and overthinking issues and care a lot about how others see me etc. (the ego  )

Meditation could be thought of as unthinkable truth, and if so, allow the truth that you don’t actually know how others see you. Receive that relief of what is true.  

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and sometimes after mindfulness meditation or after a lot of meditation, I feel like it's making me feel a bit worse.

If you receive that truth you’ll feel liberated. 

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A bit loopy/out of it or even more self-aware in the bad sense, caring more about how others perceive "me" etc. maybe a bit more vulnerable. It's also not always and it's pretty hard to explain.

Careful with vilifying meditation, truth, and awareness. Sometimes people fragment their way into nihilism like that. If a perspective doesn’t feel good, inspect the perspective, rather than avoiding or suppressing. 

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PurpleTree would like to try a silent retreat sometime but doesn't know if it would be counter productive.

There may be a hint of the fragmentation already present. Meditation, like retreats, isn’t in the ‘productive’ category really. That is In large part so to speak, what is let go in meditation & retreats. 

[Gesundheit]

Yeah, certainly could. But the point from meditation is to detach from all emotional states to the point where it makes no difference at all to you whether you experience deep depression or ecstasy. That's the ultimate goal. Being a clear sky, unaffected by the clouds passing by.

[Toby]

If people have unresolved trauma, meditation can make things way worse and be retraumatizing as studies on side effects of mindfulness have shown. If your neurosis is in a more normal range meditation can be very healing and helpful though.

[PurpleTree]

25 minutes ago, Nahm said:

There may be a hint of the fragmentation already present. Meditation, like retreats, isn’t in the ‘productive’ category really. That is In large part so to speak, what is let go in meditation & retreats. 

Purple means counter-productive as in creating more anxiety and feeling out of it, aka creating more suffering

[smurf88]

To be honest, it's never made me feel worse. The only way that's happened is if in cases where I uncovered new levels of awareness and it freaked me out, temporarily. But the regular outcome of meditation is I'm more relaxed, more focused and less stressed out. And as a bonus it helps me break out of rumination, when it happens.

As far as self-awareness goes it certainly makes you more self-aware, but you should also be getting more relaxed at the same time. I would try exploring other techniques (especially Vipassana), as there are a lot of different ways to practice, each with different effects.

Edited October 7, 2020 by smurf88

[Vittorio]

Well yeah. 

If you feel bad, it's actually a good thing. 

It means you are bringing out your shadows, so that you can see and dissolve them. 

[PurpleTree]

9 minutes ago, Vittorio said:

Well yeah. 

If you feel bad, it's actually a good thing. 

It means you are bringing out your shadows, so that you can see and dissolve them. 

Is this universally accepted truth, i mean do you know about enough cases to form such an opinion?

 

17 minutes ago, Toby said:

If people have unresolved trauma, meditation can make things way worse and be retraumatizing as studies on side effects of mindfulness have shown. If your neurosis is in a more normal range meditation can be very healing and helpful though.

 

11 minutes ago, smurf88 said:

To be honest, it's never made me feel worse. The only way that's happened is if in cases where I uncovered new levels of awareness and it freaked me out, temporarily. But the regular outcome of meditation is I'm more relaxed, more focused and less stressed out. And as a bonus it helps me break out of rumination, when it happens.

As far as self-awareness goes it certainly makes you more self-aware, but you should also be getting more relaxed at the same time. I would try exploring other techniques (especially Vipassana), as there are a lot of different ways to practice, each with different effects.

 

Thanks

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

Purple means counter-productive as in creating more anxiety and feeling out of it, aka creating more suffering

Yes, I got the self reference. It was just a suggestion. 

[Dario1995]

@PurpleTree sorry, didnt know you are not new to this. Maybe you should take a break, or change a tehnique. Everybody is different