Must Read Relationship Book For Everyone

[LfcCharlie4]

Clickbait title-ish. 

The book is called Cupid's Pensioned Arrow by Marnia Robinson. 

I'm about 1/5th through, but have watched many interviews of hers, and essentially her message is that Orgasm & 'Fertilization Driven Sex' is not supportive of a long term, happy & fulfilling relationship between 2 people, as neurochemically we are wired to pass on our genes, so the more (male and female) you orgasm with your partner, the faster you are burning that flame.

You only have to look at the majority of marriages to see how sex dwindles out, affairs start, or the 'magic' slowly dissipates. 

Instead, she talks of 'Bonding based behaviors' and a form of intercourse known as 'Karezza' which is essentially bonding based sex without Orgasm.  

She also talks about the path of enlightenment, and how many ancient traditions advocated for a similar kind of 'Spiritual Sex' & 'Spiritual Marriage' and not just Celibacy. 

I highly recommend this to anyone in a relationship, especially a long-term one, as it explained my own situation so well, and I'm only 20 and have been in one LTR, but certainly notice that 'Post-Nut Syndrome' you get after Sex / Masturbation, and how it really can linger for days, she actually suggests it takes 2 weeks for us to get back into balance. 

Have a read & lmk what you think. 

She essentially suggests a couple trying this & her other bonding based recommendations for 2-3 weeks, then going back to conventional sex and seeing what the differences are. 

Here's an interview with her- 

 

 

[electroBeam]

13 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

'Post-Nut Syndrome'

 

I must be a massive nut then if thats what you get after only 1 session.

What book store do you go to Charlie? Recently you've been pulling out some very good books. 

[LfcCharlie4]

@electroBeam ???

Not majorly but I used to especially notice it after Porn, almost like a sugar crash. 
 

Leos book list was where I started, then just asking people for recommendations & surfing online really bro.

[NatureB]

Failure of marriages, magic dissipating, etc. cannot simply be attributed to bad sex alone, nor to intensity dying down due to orgasm. There are a ton of factors that go into that one.

I can agree that there is some dying down in the intensity of relationships after orgasm though. We've all experienced it, or most of us.

 

I recommend Red Queen by Matt Ridley. Men are supposed to have sex with as many women as they can to have as many children as they can, and women have the strategy of getting a stable guy for support but having the child of the alpha male.

And for an optimistic view of relationships and a primer for working on your shadow as it affects your relationships, I highly, highly recommend The Truth by Neil Strauss. Will blow your mind.

[LfcCharlie4]

@NatureB have you read this book? 
 

I think it’s unfair to judge the content, without reading the book. 
 

It is nothing to do with bad sex, it says how amazing sex, if goal based, will lead to the same avail. 
 

Also, this message has been in all the ancient traditions for millennia, and we’re all on a spirituality forum aren’t we? 
 

The majority of ancient teachings have said repeatedly how orgasm and semen should be conserved to help with growth. I usually ignored it as it was paired with celibacy which I never resonated with, but this book makes a lot of sense. 
 

Like I said most aren’t ready to hear this, I wasn’t for 30 months and left it on my bookshelf. 
 

she’s also not saying it’s ALL to do with this, just that nerochemically we are setting ourselves up to fail with the conventional approach. 

Edited October 6, 2020 by LfcCharlie4