Is having kids generally helpful or detrimental to self-actualization?

[bejapuskas]

@Displayname1 Lmao have kids just to send them away. Now that I got this reproduction business over with, what's next?  Jk maybe you didn't mean it like that.

[The_Alchemist]

Yes

No
Neither
Both
Neither/both

I knew a guy who did hard manual labor 50-60 hours a week; he'd come in smiling to the gym and talk to everyone.
I knew fat stay at home moms who couldn't stick to their diet or be consistent with the gym.

It's what you make of it.

Souls magnify
Souls have their own problems

All material is subjected to alchemical processes;
Degradation
Purification

 

[SgtPepper]

I say yes. I am biased because I want to have family. However it is MORE challenging path.

How will it help someone on a self-actualization journey? I do not have children, but my observation is:

Having children challenges parents to demonstrate their unconditional love and work with someone smaller and weaker. As a result, a parent builds skills related to interaction, teaching, and loving.

As a parent, someone now looks up to you, so now you can't just talk to talk, you have to walk the talk.

There are human experiences that can only be had with a child you raised. 

Think of sex. You don't NEED sex to be self-actualized and realize God. Can it help? Yes.

You don't need to do anything, you can literally isolate yourself til you die, realize God and be good. However cracking jokes with your brothers is still a joyous time and it helps staying focused with your life purpose.

It is also much more challenging because you are held to a higher standard. You got a partner and children and they will notice all of your "sins", so you are now more accountable.

This is much easier to avoid if you live alone. If you live alone, you could ice cream naked on the couch and its all good. No real environmental circumstances that will encourage one to build virtuous characteristics which lead to a higher quality life.

-----

To me, having children and a family equals a meaningful life/ or adds more meaning to one's life. If having a family was not in cards for me, I'd probably become Franciscan or something. What is the point of having a lucrative position or big house if you cannot even share with someone you love with all of your heart? completely pointless. 

Edited December 6, 2020 by SgtPepper

[Moon]

@SgtPepper Yess! I'm on the fence regarding this topic but good points 

[Origins]

@Denis_ The reason why its confusing is because having kids ultimately has nothing to do with you and only what you can give. Self actualisation has nothing to do with the person and everything to do with the reality in which it inhabits and the role that the consciousness perceiving its experience can play in its movement forward.

Some people say "well its your life do what you want", this is totally the opposite of how you should be thinking, you're bringing a NEW life into this experience of existence and you're ADDING life force energy to that new being.

Everything should be about THEM until you've truly contributed to the actualisation of their soul and then and only then does it become about you and even if it does, its completely negotiated between the sovereignty of that consciousness and you and never an obligation on the part of that consciousness you've helped bring into this conscious experience. 

We are at least 200 years behind how we should be raising children and our perspectives there and at least thousands of years in debt for all the various ways we as a species have so far got it wrong. 

ALL/MOST THESE PEOPLE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION SO FAR ARE LIVING IN A FANTASY LAND OF THEMSELVES.

On 06/10/2020 at 8:31 AM, Origins said:

Everything is for self actualisation (SA), so much nonsense around the concept people don't even really understand the term. We are stupid about a lot of things including children, we have to get smarter. If someone is low on the path they shouldn't have kids full stop though as its bad for the kids and bad to be using kids as an anchor for SA. So kids are just a branch of SA.

I said this before but I'm wrong, kids are not even really a branch of SA.

YOU SHOULD ALREADY BE SA before kids so that you're in the best position to be of aid for their SA. They can be, but only consequently not as an an angle of SA to focus on as a potential direction.

Kids are not just "SOMETHING TO HAVE ON THE MENU OF SA", or "HAVE TO DO / NEED TO DO", no its ALL ABOUT THEM and whether you're willing to devote yourself to making them as enlightened as possible. 

But for truth it cannot in ANYWAY WHATSOEVER be about any delusions you have about society, yourself, others or about the children themselves. They are not a FAMILY MOVIE you want to create either, they're IN THE MOMENT BEINGS like ourselves that you learn from and add learning to IN THE MOMENT.

Edited December 7, 2020 by Origins