Love

[Shin]

From what I feel nowadays, I feel that I'm not feeling love because I fear to either be overwhelmed and/or die.

There is a very vivid fear that happens if I open up too much, which translate in a total blockage of all the love that is possible to feel.
This is very rare, cause most of the time I just feel peaceful, and I rarely experience positive emotions (and negative emotions).

I can literally feel a infinite amount of energy that could be unleashed, but is unconsciously repressed and locked in some dark cell.

This is paradoxical, cause I don't feel it as I said (but I can't express it otherwise so bear with me ), except in rare cases, but even then, it's an infinite small portion of what I intuitively feel I could feel.

It's like the only thing that I care about as of now, and I'm distracting myself A LOT not to just sit and see where it goes.
I'm obviously willing to go on again, and is my reason of asking you for help.

I kinda know what to do, but I also want all the possible help

So asides the advice and questions you will write, do you know any good books/techniques that could help ?

I have those books in mind: The Art Of Loving from Erich Fromm and The Power from Rhonda Byrne.

 

Thank you

 

 

[Leo Gura]

You're not going to be feeling love 24/7. That is not possible. That expectation is a recipe for suffering.

Love is not something you feel. Love is what you ARE, regardless of how you feel.

Of course it's nice to work on feeling more love. That is important. But don't fool yourself into thinking you must feel love for Love to be real. Love is much more than just a feeling. It is there even when you don't feel it.

[bejapuskas]

@Shin I think these thoughts are just pointing at what is already true now. I don't know how else to say it. How is this not infinite? Maybe you are underestimating just how infinite love is. I guess go with the thing you stated 'I kinda know what to do' and things will unravel, you will suddenly remember what you forgot. What you described sounds very trippy to be honest x) 

[Shin]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not going to be feeling love 24/7. That is not possible. That expectation is a recipe for suffering.

Love is not something you feel. Love is what you ARE, regardless of how you feel.

Of course it's nice to work on feeling more love. That is important. But don't fool yourself into thinking you must feel love for Love to be real.

I don't expect to Leo, but I still want to see what there is to see that I fear of so much, and I definitely will

Quote

Love is much more than just a feeling. It is there even when you don't feel it.

That's something I often pondered.

When I think back of how I (naturally) act towards people and talk to them, I often realize that I must appear loving, even though I don't feel anything myself.

As in love was working through me, but the little self Shin can't feel the energy/love itself.

It is there doing its thing, but is not consciously perceived psychologically and emotionally speaking.

[Gesundheit]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not going to be feeling love 24/7. That is not possible. That expectation is a recipe for suffering.

How can you be so sure?

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

How can you be so sure?

Because all feeling states come and go. Fundamental impermanence. A core truth/teaching in Buddhism.

When a big rock falls on your foot, I can guarantee you won't be feeling love in that moment.

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Because all feeling states come and go. Fundamental impermanence. A core truth/teaching in Buddhism.

When a big rock falls on your foot, I can guarantee you won't be feeling love in that moment.

Of course, apparently. But absolutely?

[Leo Gura]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

Of course, apparently. But absolutely?

By all means, prove me wrong.

[mandyjw]

Love is feeling itself and not a feeling. There are no feelings outside of thought or judgement (nouns) just feeling (verb). Feelings (nouns) are labels for something dead and gone. 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

Love is feeling itself and not a feeling. There are no feelings outside of thought or judgement (nouns) just feeling (verb). Feelings (nouns) are labels for something dead and gone. 

Love is just being ?

The nouns/verb does not compute sorry ?

[Gesundheit]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

By all means, prove me wrong.

Right click. Save as.

I'm in the same position as yours so I will prove you wrong when I prove myself wrong. But currently I am also aware that it's just a position so it could change or be wrong. After all, this impermanence thing is not proven true either.

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

Love is just being ?

The nouns/verb does not compute sorry ?

Not being you dead unfeeling zombie unicorn, feeling. 

It's not A feeling, it's feeling itself.

Ya feel me? 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Right click. Save as.

I'm in the same position as yours so I will prove you wrong when I prove myself wrong. But currently I am also aware that it's just a position so it could change or be wrong. After all, this impermanence thing is not proven

 

How can you prove anything that is subjective ?

 

Edited October 5, 2020 by Shin

[Gesundheit]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

How can you prove anything that is subjective ?

I'm working on it. Maybe I will be able to, and maybe not.

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Shin said:

From what I feel nowadays, I feel that I'm not feeling love because I fear to either be overwhelmed and/or die.

I'd start with loving that

3 hours ago, Shin said:

So asides the advice and questions you will write, do you know any good books/techniques that could help ?

For me, the right music and nature are two of the things that really help bring me into a loving vibe. It's not permanent but it happens a whole lot more than it used to. And a whole lot deeper.

You could also just fake it. Scream, punch your pillow, make yourself cry, fake laugh. Might be a good stepping stone.

Also, if you have loving / emotional people in your life, I find they are often a catalyst for you to then open up.

At the end of the day, I find love is more a natural consequence of spiritual growth. So whatever your practice is, stay on it.

 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, aurum said:

I'd start with loving that

For me, the right music and nature are two of the things that really help bring me into a loving vibe. It's not permanent but it happens a whole lot more than it used to. And a whole lot deeper.

You could also just fake it. Scream, punch your pillow, make yourself cry, fake laugh. Might be a good stepping stone.

Also, if you have loving / emotional people in your life, I find they are often a catalyst for you to then open up.

At the end of the day, I find love is more a natural consequence of spiritual growth. So whatever your practice is, stay on it.

 

Thank you ?

I usually listen to some beautiful music everyday, and in certain day it really makes me cry a lot.

Not because I feel sad, but because I feel an orgasmic high coming from nowhere and then think of that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Those moments happens more and more and I feel so blessed to even feel how I feel now, let alone whatever else is in front of me.

It just feels too good to be true, and this is very funny considering I'm scared of that ?

[Nahm]

Without the thought narrative of a myself, the clear sky is ever present. The narrative is the clouds. What are the clouds, the beliefs, the barriers? 

[VeganAwake]

I use to suppress or bottle up so- called negative emotions and also feel guilt for not being a more loving and empathetic person. I thought what the heck is wrong with me.

I began to examine deeply the source of this guilt...but all that was there was just thoughts. The source itself was the identification with thought (as in 'MY' thoughts) resulting in a feeling of guilt.

Then I thought, well who is this crazy 'ME' character that keeps identifying with all these ridiculous thoughts. 

I began to look but it was just more thoughts.... I figured I didn't need these useless thoughts I had been identifying with, so I did what any good vegan minimalist would do, and had a old fashioned thought layer shedding ceremony. 

I can now truly say I love my empty 'self' more than ever ❤