What if one of your top values is peace of mind/calm but you're very anxious/stressed

[Yarco]

Say if your top value is peace of mind/tranquility/calm after doing all of the values assessment passes in the course. It's what you strive for. You're really jealous of the monks who can just grin and seemingly not worry about anything.

But right now you're the exact opposite and it's not a congruent value at all. You're a very anxious and stressed person and you're 100% negatively motivated to pursue peace of mind/calm/tranquility to get rid of those feelings.

Is that really something that you should build your life purpose around? Or is it better to see as something that you need to tackle first before you can really start to work on your life purpose? Or should you just drop it lower on your list so it doesn't occupy the top 3, but realize it's something that you should still be doing on the side?

Same situation if one of your top values is health/vigor/energy, but only because you're currently obese, tired, and in pain. If you put health/vigor/energy as your top value, I feel like that might mislead you into a life purpose like being a personal trainer or something similar. When really you just need to get your health sorted out, independent of your life purpose.

If you do want to prioritize calm and tranquility in your life, what are the best ways to go about increase your congruence with those values? Going to therapy/counselling, daily meditation habit, experiment with CBD and other supplements said to reduce stress?

What would the life of someone who highly values calm and tranquility look like, short of becoming a monk or yoga teacher?

[Matt23]

15 minutes ago, Yarco said:

What would the life of someone who highly values calm and tranquility look like,

What does it look like to you?

 

Reflection:

15 minutes ago, Yarco said:

You're a very anxious and stressed person and you're 100% negatively motivated to pursue peace of mind/calm/tranquility

 

16 minutes ago, Yarco said:

Is that really something that you should build your life purpose around?

Not saying that it's not an authentic value underneath the negative motivation.  But to me, trauma and negativity can obscure truth, authenticity, and clarity and make it difficult to discern things in life.  Might help to resolve and heal some trauma and negativity...?

 

What feels good and true(r) or authentic for you in your body when you contemplate different questions and values?

When you actually participate and behaviorally align/pursue a value, do you feel strained and put out, or energize and fulfilled (like "I want more of that!" with a smille on your face)?

What puts a smile on your face and gives you excited, joyful, and pleasant bubbly feelings in your body?

If you can imagine when you were a smile child, maybe see if you can remember or create a memory of feeling totally unburdened by negativity, and just so clear about what it is that makes you happy and joyful.  Remember those times?  Remember how easy it was to know what you want?  Remember how you felt what you wanted, and thus knew it.  Remember how what you knew you wanted was an effortless activity when pursued?  Remember how, even if it was doing physical or effortful activity, if it was what you truly felt motivated to do and wanted, you would do it since the joy overpowered any laziness since you just wanted it cuz it brought you so much joy?  See if you can feel what this would feel like in your body, right now.  Now, ask yourself these questions about your life purpose and authentic values.

What can you do that is like, the best thing to do on a day off?  Something not programmed, but felt, that you enjoy?

 

What if there's no clear distinction between your life purpose and the rest of your life?  

What if you asked yourself the question "What kind of life would I create for myself if I was God/all powerful, etc.?", instead of only focusing on life purpose?  

Maybe you can come up with some things that aren't exactly life purpose/career.

It seems that life purpose or any other area of life isn't really clearly distinct by itself.  Maybe getting rid of clear distinctions between areas of life will help destroy some limiting conceptual constraints and open up imagination and truer desires for you.

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Yarco said:

What would the life of someone who highly values calm and tranquility look like, short of becoming a monk or yoga teacher?

It'll be unique for each person. But you can bet that they've done a lot of spiritual work and pulling off the layers of societal conditioning.

[mandyjw]

Well that's the fun of duality. There's no experience or desire for light without dark. 

Why do you strive for it, out of discomfort of the opposite or passion for it? 

[Rolo]

On 05/10/2020 at 7:55 AM, Yarco said:

 

What would the life of someone who highly values calm and tranquility look like, short of becoming a monk or yoga teacher?

It should be something you are passionate about, It doesn't necessarily mean you have to do work to make people tranquil, just your state of tranquillity will help in so many ways.