Almost got raped... and i'm a guy

[Don Wei]

Hi guys, I wasn't sure if I should post this, it just happened yesterday. And it has never happened to me before so I don't really know how to deal with it.

Yesterday at 5:30 pm I went to the gym in the park near my house but I decided to leave 30 min earlier, so I left at 6:00 pm and it was a cloudy rainy day, so it was almost dark. I should have just gone home. 

But I just had to explore the huge park for some reason, I just felt like it. And I was walking in the part of the park where I had never been before and at one point I passed a bench where two middle aged men were sitting and I felt very strange but I thought it would be akward if I would just turn around somehow.

Then when I walked further I saw a dark small muddy path, and I felt a heavy ominious energy around me, most of the time i'm able to sense these things, but I got extremely curious and wanted to explore that path. It was not a place where anybody was supposed to walk because all the other paths were wider and with asphalt. I started to see dirty old childeren shoes on the sides of the path and broken beer bottles and it got weirder and weirder. So I then thought, this is enough I really shouldn't be here so I turned around and I saw one of the old guys that was sitting on the bench blocking the entrance to the path. Just standing there looking at me and the path was too small for two people to walk one so we walked towards each other. And I found it strange that this man was walking here because it is a dead end path, so there was no reason to walk there. 

I moved out of the way to let him through and then he suddenly tried to grab my dick and hold me but I pushed him away and ran before he could do anything else, and then the other guy from the bench came and this guy was a lot bigger than me so I kept on running all the way home, but I did not go home yet because I just felt absolutely disgusting and confused so I went to the mall and bought a bag of chips and I was trying to process what happened. I did not want to tell my parents, but I must tell someone this happened yesterday. Now I feel extremely paranoid to go outside and I first thought that anything stage red was bad because it is low conscious but now I see that improving yourself does not mean that you have to lose things from previous stages and that you actually have to integrate these things in yourself to become more complete.

I always wanted to be nice and help people but if appearing too friendly to some people can make people think i'm weak and make them think they can cross my bounderies then I will physically protect myself, I respect and love other people, but I see that does not mean people will treat you the same way. So I think I'll have to find a way to combine all the different stages because I now see they all have valuable aspects. I guess I was to naïve to think everybody would respond positive to my positivity and openness and to think all the stages below you weren't important anymore once you transcended them.

[No Self]

Please advise local law enforcement about what happened. Otherwise, it will happen to someone else who may not be able to get away.

[Superfluo]

I'm sorry to hear that, but dude, after things like this I'd hardly think about spiral dynamics and consciousness. Recover psychologically first. Rielaborate with someone helping. Process the feelings. Shake the tension off. This is mandatory. You're still triggered by the event.

Then you can think about it in a conscious way.

 

[Vercingetorix]

Sorry to hear. really awful and unlucky experience  

 In your place, I would do everything to process what happened - Talk to friends, family, therapist, journal about it, go back to the memory and say or do anything that wasn't said and done (maybe shouting at them? ) and also talk to myself, supporting myself. Anything to reduce the Trauma so I won't suffer from it later in my life.

[Roy]

Terrible luck man, glad you were quicker than them. Report that incident to the police and tell them exactly where they were hanging out, it's probably a regular spot for them because it's narrow and a dead end. Definitely want to prevent this happening to someone who can't defend themselves or escape.

Also make sure to pack a knife from now on if you're going to explore in unknown places like that. When shit really does hit the fan - better them, than you.

Edited October 3, 2020 by Roy

[LordFall]

4 hours ago, Roy said:

 

Also make sure to pack a knife from now on if you're going to explore in unknown places like that. When shit really does hit the fan - better them, than you.

Be careful with this advice. Check the laws to see if this is even legal, in Canada you can't carry any sort of weapon for self defense and you will be charged for using it. Also statistically, unless you're trained in using it, carrying a weapon will most likely end up in it being used against you rather than the other way around.

[Ananta]

8 hours ago, LordFall said:

Be careful with this advice. Check the laws to see if this is even legal, in Canada you can't carry any sort of weapon for self defense and you will be charged for using it. Also statistically, unless you're trained in using it, carrying a weapon will most likely end up in it being used against you rather than the other way around.

In the US each state has their own laws. In Ohio its perfectly legal to own knives and carry them. However, concealed carry can get you in trouble, if found. Just can't carry into schools, airports, government buildings.

After this story I'm going to carry one. Plus with the world so crazy now its not a bad idea for self defense. Im not as strong and fast as I once was, so not as confident I could fight someone off without a weapon.

Admittedly, I will conceal mine in my purse, but I'm willing to take the chance of getting in trouble for the concealed carry. Screw it. The knife I have has a window breaking feature and an area to rip a seat belt also. 

To the OP, so sorry about your ordeal. Thanks for sharing. You made me and probably others think of self protection that might save someone from being a victim.

❤

[Don Wei]

@No Self I checked today and yesterday, when me and my brother drove by the place, but the place was empty, no one was there I don't think this person has a specific place or routine and secluded places like parks are known for this type of stuff so I don't think it will be anything the police didn't already know and it happened two days ago, I really messed up, I should have called the cops while I was in the park

@Superfluo alright I'll definitely do that then first

@Vercingetorix  that's exactly what I was also worrying about, some other trauma's I have haven,'t even been healed yet so this would be to much

@Roy I thought about carrying a knife, but I won't carry one because I know I would not use it. And would defeninitely not carry it open for everyone to see even though that's the only way a knife could be useful because then you can quickly draw it. I was very confused because I also don't see myself as a physically weak person, and I know some martial arts so I was very suprised that even I could become a victim

@LordFall yeah i'm not really gonna carry a knife, I have not been trained in using it.

@Keyhole  I feel alright at this moment, but my schoolwork and self developement did suffer from it, I did not feel like doing anything at all, and I felt very disgusting for some reason

@Ananta yes I hope this never happens to anyone again...but that is a false dream, this is probably happening to thousands of people at the same time right now. I definitely feel a little more grounded now. It doesn't matter what type of development you do or how wise and strong you are, we are at the end of the day just human, and we get hurt. If I trip and fall the wrong way or if a car drives against me too hard then it's all over. This is why I think it's best too always have a little left from lower stages, especially for survival.

Edited October 4, 2020 by Don Wei

[Globalcollective]

Sorry to hear aboug this bro, your doing the right thing to take sometime to process it. 

It also wouldn't hurt to learn how to fight and defend yourself, could look at training MMA. In situations like that a good striking and wrestling foundation could work well, running of course is always the best option like you did. 

If its only one person with no one around BJJ is the best but you have to really make a carful judgement call on that as someone could hurt you when your on the ground from behind. Boxing, thai boxing and wrestling are the best for multiple attackers. Learning how to stick and move creating distance you can fend people off and if you get into a clinch you can easily slam or knee. Most people can't fight properly, you'll be suprised. You can always tell if someone is trained by there technique and stance so if you spot that always worth trying to run. 

Krav maga is also very useful for quick attacks to end fights. Martial arts can also be great for spirtual development too. Don't let this scare you of going out my bro. Find a soild mma gym near u

[No Self]

2 hours ago, Don Wei said:

@No Self I really messed up, I should have called the cops while I was in the park

It's all good man. It's a 'fight or flight' situation.

If you got any info on their appearance, clothing, etc., I'd still file a police report just so that there's evidence that can be used against them if/when they strike again. But up to you. Take care.

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

I also faced a pervert in a park earlier this month. He didn't try to rape me but got his dick out and masturbated looking at me.

Sorry to hear this.  I think guys that do that are usually drunk or something. They can be stung for indecent exposure, etc., if you wish to take action.

[hamedsf]

it was not a rape, it was a strong assault but I'll tell you what, never ever create or involve yourself in the fight but if somebody insists to fight give him the real hell!

[fridjonk]

Eyepkoking and a firm kick to the nutsack are good self-defenses to keep at the top of your mind when the situation calls for it. 

[Opo]

7 hours ago, Ananta said:

Admittedly, I will conceal mine in my purse, but I'm willing to take the chance of getting in trouble for the concealed carry. Screw it. The knife I have has a window breaking feature and an area to rip a seat belt also. 

If you're gonna carry a knife you need to be ready to kill a person. If you aren't sure you can do it without overthinking carry a pepper spray. You can disable them from a safe distance with it and run away. 

About the knife, you need to be able to open it with one hand and the seat belt cutter is pointless. 

Whatever you decide to carry you need to know where it is in the bag (maybe have a special place for it) and train how to deploy it so you don't mess up when you're in the real situation. 

1 hour ago, fridjonk said:

Eyepkoking and a firm kick to the nutsack are good self-defenses to keep at the top of your mind when the situation calls for it. 

You've watched too many movies. 

When people see hand coming they instinctively put their head down. 

If that doesn't happen and you manage to make contact you probably won't poke both of his eyes and even if you do you won't temporarily blind him.

It happens in ufc all the time and it's annoying and not good but they can still see. (He only needs to see enough to be able to grab you)

If you are in range for an eyepoke he is in range to grab you or hit you and he is statistically stronger. 

A knee to the balls is painful but that's all. If he is on adrenaline, which if he is trying to do something criminal he is he won't feel pain that much or at all.

Crazy shit happens to people when they are on adrenaline and they react very differently then when they're calm. 

It will probably just make him more aggressive. 

 

[bejapuskas]

That's crazy man, I hope you will be okay and definitely don't be afraid to tell someone, you haven't done anything wrong. I guess it's nice to know martial arts in a situatuon like this, better than to not know them, but if there are 2 or more people going against you, bigger and stronger than you and possibly armed, I wouldn't risk it, a pepper spray is better than knife imo, it is much easier to use, plus you can state out of range and flee more easily. We are here for you man, I really hope you get better.

[Globalcollective]

2 hours ago, hamedsf said:

it was not a rape, it was a strong assault but I'll tell you what, never ever create or involve yourself in the fight but if somebody insists to fight give him the real hell!

Agreed, if someone back you into a cornered you can't walk away. watch some Mike Tyson on how to throw leaping hooks and uppercuts ?also throat strikes are very underrated. I know a guy who use to work as a bouncer and he would end all his confrontations with just a simple throat strike. 

 

9 minutes ago, Opo said:

Whatever you decide to carry you need to know where it is in the bag (maybe have a special place for it) and train how to deploy it so you don't mess up when you're in the real situation. 

You've watched too many movies. 

When people see hand coming they instinctively put their head down. 

If that doesn't happen and you manage to make contact you probably won't poke both of his eyes and even if you do you won't temporarily blind him.

It happens in ufc all the time and it's annoying and not good but they can still see. (He only needs to see enough to be able to grab you)

If you are in range for an eyepoke he is in range to grab you or hit you and he is statistically stronger. 

A knee to the balls is painful but that's all. If he is on adrenaline, which if he is trying to do something criminal he is he won't feel pain that much or at all.

Crazy shit happens to people when they are on adrenaline and they react very differently then when they're calm. 

It will probably just make him more aggressive. 

 

Actually eye attacks are very effective in street fights, I come from a very violent town where there was a fight every night and it was well known back in the day that you can end a fight very quickly with eye attacks but its more down to the fact of how moral someone is  as most people are not willing to do it. 

I think a good solid foundation in MMA will be enough however without the need to go extreme and you can even subdue people relatively easily and call the cops. 

 

Edited October 4, 2020 by Globalcollective

[universe]

It's important that you understand that you did nothing wrong. It could have happened to anybody, you, me, Buddha, God.

Why do you feel disgusted? Why do you think you messed up?

You did everything right.

[fridjonk]

4 hours ago, Opo said:

You've watched too many movies. 

When people see hand coming they instinctively put their head down. 

If that doesn't happen and you manage to make contact you probably won't poke both of his eyes and even if you do you won't temporarily blind him.

It happens in ufc all the time and it's annoying and not good but they can still see. (He only needs to see enough to be able to grab you)

If you are in range for an eyepoke he is in range to grab you or hit you and he is statistically stronger. 

A knee to the balls is painful but that's all. If he is on adrenaline, which if he is trying to do something criminal he is he won't feel pain that much or at all.

Crazy shit happens to people when they are on adrenaline and they react very differently then when they're calm. 

It will probably just make him more aggressive. 

 

Oh well, let's just give up then and let the harassment continue. 

This is the best advice you could give someone in this situation who has no knowledge of self-defense. 

[Opo]

3 hours ago, fridjonk said:

Oh well, let's just give up then and let the harassment continue. 

This is the best advice you could give someone in this situation who has no knowledge of self-defense. 

No, avoid the situation. 

Don't go to dangerous places if no one will hear you scream. 

8 hours ago, Globalcollective said:

Actually eye attacks are very effective in street fights, I come from a very violent town where there was a fight every night and it was well known back in the day that you can end a fight very quickly with eye attacks but its more down to the fact of how moral someone is  as most people are not willing to do it.

If it's a guy on guy fight then yea it will help a lot, but if it's a girl on a bigger guy and that's all she has it won't be enough. 

Edited October 4, 2020 by Opo

[Opo]

16 minutes ago, Ananta said:

The seat belt/rope cutter was mentioned not as being useful for someone trying to attack me, but that carrying the knife had other uses.

Yea I meant you can cut the belt with the knife, so I don't see the point of it. 

[Guest SirVladimir]

@Don Wei Damn, you had a serious first-hand experience with an unhealthy form of the Spiral. Probably Red. It must have been intense; no middlemen, no mental masturbation, no charts nor theory, no border between you and the raw manifestation. You came out on top. You are safe now. I am glad you shared the story with us. Welcome back. I know exactly how you feel, for I have gone through similarly intense situations, though not sexual. I perceive this as an incredible opportunity for your growth now. Do not make it a shadow, do not repress it, however hard it may be. Forgiveness is powerful.